Am I selling myself short by settling for flings and casual fun/sex?

[Anonymous]

I'm 24. Been trying for a few years to have a proper relationship with multiple guys. First there was boyfriend 1 who turned out to be a little bit of an asshole. We dated for about 6 months and he was very controlling and sexually abusive. Then there was another guy. A friend of a friend we went on two dates before he ghosted me and started dating someone else. Then there was another friend of friend who I spoke to for about a month over text before he cut me off. Finally, I met someone online and we dated for about a month before we broke up. I tried everything to make every single one of these relationships or potential relationships work. I would have given anything. I was entirely shattered when the last one ended. I thought he was the one.

Now I've taken to meeting guys online, sexting, going on a few dates, having sex without wanting anything or trying. And all of these guys have been very honest about not wanting anything serious. There's been two of them in total. It doesn't make me happy, but I'm not unhappy about it. I'm happy when I'm with them, but when I'm by myself, thinking about it, I do feel sad and pathetic. I'd never tell any of my friends or family what I'm doing. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I've settled. If I can't have forever with someone, it's nice to just have a date or a night. And I'm so exhausted of trying to make people want to stay with me.

I don't know if I should go back to trying for a relationship intentionally? Am I selling myself short by willingly going along with these flings? Should I try harder for a relationship that's long-term?

[Nogard1973]

If you're only happy when you're with someone, I'd start there. You'll never be truly happy with a partner unless you're happy with yourself.

As far as flings, as long as you're safe with them, you do you. Every guy that doesn't turn out to be "the one" is a lesson learned.

[Cryostatic]

You’re selling yourself short looking for flings if what you want is something long term.

There’s nothing wrong with flings. I’ve had plenty myself. But if a long term committed relationship is what you want, then you need to strive for that instead.

[Unit1]

Short answer: Yes

Long answer: You give sex away like fresh American chocolate chip cookies for like free to men, who want to spend only one night with you. Women tend to sell sex. Some of them do it in order to spend not one night but 7 nights a week. And some of them have such a high price, that they won't find any customer.

The power of the pussy speaks.

[cavmanier]

I was going to say do what ever makes you happy, but it sounds like you are settling for shallow relationships. You also may be devaluing yourself for a potential serious guy. I would keep looking for your right match.

[420guyinpanties]

Just don't lie about it don't be one of those women that think a fake wanting a relationship justifying that other guys do it so I should do it so you end up hurting some guy that don't you ever do that

[Dchrls78104]

Yes. If you got pregnant from one of these flings, would you know for sure who was the father of the child? And what if you got an STD? Or a psycho stalker/killer for a sex partner?

[AynonOMouse]

Sounds like you won't be happy unless you have an actual relationship with someone that cares about you so I suggest trying for that.

[Yammy]

It's hard to have a real relationship these days when everyone just wants sex

[DanOh2018]

Nothing wrong with liking sex. Just be open to meeting people other ways too

[soleil2666]

Why are you selling yourself to begin with?