If a man proposes to his girlfriend, and she says no, is the relationship over?

[ariadneR]

[rjroy3]

Touchy territory. I'd say by and large Yes it's over, BUT... if it's a "Not yet" or some variation of that, then not necessarily.

Because if the two are people who believe in marriage and that's something they think they might want eventually with someone, then the point of the relationship is to someday progress to building that family life together. If she says No outright. She is now saying "I do not want that future with you".

If you don't have the same goal, then obviously the relationship is over. How long until is cut is probably individual. But I can't imagine someone sticking around for long in that scenario. Personally, I wouldn't propose unless I was damn certain I'm hearing yes. So I've not seriously considered how I would go about that in the event of a no. But yes, ending it would be the move. If however she says not yet, or gives a candid reason to delay saying yes, then it may not be over just yet.

Let's say she wanted to get married. Madly in love. Knew this is the guy she wanted, but when it came time to say yes, for whatever reason she gets overwhelmed in the moment and says she needs time. Maybe she got new information about something that emotionally is weighing on her. Like perhaps she had an ex of 10 years, before breaking up and meeting you. She's been with you for 2 years, but 1 week prior her ex of 10 years shows up wanting her back and she never got that closure. Real rom com, but hey. Crazier shit has happened.

She's gonna be emotionally conflicted a bit. Her saying she needs time, or not yet or something to put off a yes could lead to the end of the relationship. Or it might not. Maybe she's just confused in that moment, the man handles the situation with grace and she comes to her senses only to approach him and say yes she wants to marry him a little later. I doubt the man who was in love enough to propose is now going to decline her, because she didn't automatically say yes.

[Unit1]

Sometimes I think people place a much higher value on what we call marriage than the actual relationship itself. 😒

Call me ignorant but how about we end relationships because we have a different favorite color?

Him: "My favorite color is purple"
Her: "My favorite color is pink"
Either of them: "WHAT? HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE MY COLOR? This relationship isn't working out anymore. I am breaking up with you now and I will find someone, who will like my favorite color!"

[roland77]

Accepting other's opinions is sometimes not easy if they contradict yours. Like left/right-winged people. Sure this was a very simple example and should NEVER EVER be the reason in reality (but who knows?).

But, if the couple can move along, it is okay then.

[Unit1]

@roland77 considering that, yup. Ultimately It's about making it work together and not let get those things in the way. Yet this getting along thing doesn't tend to happen as often as I'd like to see.

[roland77]

I guess a lot agreements and some disagreements (to having something left to debate) is good.

[Unit1]

@roland77 yeah! i think so too. This sounds realistic

[roland77]

@Unit1 What I mean is, sharing the same view ALWAYS is unhealthy and very boring at the same time. "We always had the same opinion!" That asks for boredom. Something must be left to discuss about. And talking about shared views is nice and inspiring, too.

[Unit1]

@roland77 that's where i disagree with you. Granted it's extremely unlikely to share 100% of the same views it's also extremely unlikely that germans would migrate into the east. Yet here i am in the east although i was abducted.

I'm saying its very unlikely possible and i don't see any problems with having the same views 100%. I think people just love drama and feel the need to create problems when there are none but drama isn't for me. I had enough of that for 2 entire lifetimes.

[roland77]

@Unit1 And there I disagree with you. I know some Germans who went to Philippines to live with their Filipina wife.

[Unit1]

@roland77 i don't have a wife or girlfriend. It was not my decision to be brought where i am.

[shimmeryns]

Depends on the reason why she said no.

I remember a story about a youtuber having to explain to her boyfriend why she rejected his proposal. He didn't know she was sick, she was hiding it and went to hospital frequently with her parents. She told him she wanted to get better and heal before she is able to marry him. She doesn't want him to get married with her then having to take care of her.

But if she simply said no for no reason then yes, the relationship should end.

[Roy_Miller]

She never explain

[Roy_Miller]

I got rejection 10 times with the same girl in 8th grade

[shimmeryns]

@Roy_Miller read the last paragraph

[Roy_Miller]

Yes u r right

[btbc92]

Needs to be over most of the time. Always talk about marriage, BEFORE dating and before you decide to propose. If it's been years, and she still doesn't want to marry you, she's playing you, move on. I don't think doing that in some places like crowds, especially if you know she is introcerted and hates attention to do it in front of everyvody. For extroverts they thrive on it unless they have other reasons. Even so, a person who wants to marry you will want to marry you.

[razelove]

No, the man is a genius. She might walk away from the proposal, but you can walk away from absolutely anything else in the relationship from that point on, including obligation.

[SydneySentinel]

I'd say it's likely that the relationship is over.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

Not necessarily, but it's not a good sign. This is why I don't like the secrecy of a surprise proposal. Because if one person has no idea a proposal is coming, then there is the chance that they don't want to be proposed to. You gotta be on the same page with your partner before you do something like that. The surprise should be in the when, where, and how you proposed, not the fact that you proposed at all. Why would you go through buying a ring if you weren't already 1000% sure the answer would be yes? That's not fair to you or your partner

[CubsterShura]

Not always, as sometimes one may just not be ready to tie the knot yet. But it's highly likely that the relationship is doomed.

This is why I personally like the traditional engagement we do here by bringing all the family members and exchanging rings. That thing really happens when both parties have already agreed that they want to marry.

[BCA6010]

I'd say it most likely is over, because clearly things were not going the way he thought, and probably not the way she wants either.

Now, I can think of reasons why it might not be over... If for example she doesn't believe in marriage but he is willing to accommodate that, and simply didn't know her stance on it prior, then it could be salvaged.

[Tlaos]

Hmm, depends on how big and grand the proposal is. If I failed to miss the tea leaves and you walked out instead of low-key dragging me out with you to explain, then yes it's over. If we were in def con 1 under a crisis... well let's say if you walked out and no contact afterwardsn because you "..." You"..." Felt "..." Etc.,, I'm glad you out. Cuz I was thinking of us, we. This event saves me time in long run

[Moonchild714]

Not necessarily, it depends on her reaction and reasoning. She just may not be ready for that step, people often think engagement means start planning wedding right away. The healthy way is just enjoy the engagement for a while before starting the Wedding plans also taking that time to truly discuss what your life as a Married Couple will be like sort everything out and discuss what kind of wedding the "Two" of you want not just the Bride it's "His Big Day" also!!!

[Screenwriter]

IT's according to why the no came about. Is she not ready, but she does seriously love the guy? Do they need to talk about marriage more and what their mutual goals are? Or is she just not into him that way? You've got to ask the questions to get the answers.

[SimpleRhubarb]

It depends mostly on time. If he proposes after one year, and she says it’s too early to be engaged, the relationship may continue. If it’s been five years, and she still won’t accept a proposal, the relationship is likely over on his terms—why waste time with someone who doesn’t want what you do?

[Dusty_06]

From personal experience, it's a kick to the nads. I mean I was put in a limbo state where I did t get a answer until around the time she broke up with me. Or the only time she referenced it was one time when I was asked when I wanted the wedding to be. It may not be over, but hurts like hell

[andreasderjuengere]

I wonder if there ever has BEEN a base for a relationship.
If a man would take the trouble to really know his girl - he would also know when NOT to ask.
Looking at the sample picture: this pathetic pose on his knees -and in public- most likely preceded with some silly 'speech' and soapy statements --> he had called for it.
Not surprising: a guy who can't match the colour of his shoes to that of his suit is an indication for poor judgement; this girl did the right thing.

[Anonymous]

If the guy's stupid enough to propose in front of a huge crowd like this, not likely. Unless the relationship sucks. A woman's more likely to say no - if she's not some meek suckup - in front of a crowd simply because it's embarrassing & far too much pressure to say yes.

[worldscolide]

It should be.. And her loss, if she says no, it means she was wasting his time, energy and money, all three of which are unforgivable..

If I proposed, and she said no, I'd kick her out of my life and forget she existed, as well as kicking her out of my home, my cars and everything else.

[worldscolide]

Unless she had a VERY damn good reason..

[DianaWest]

maybe he proposed too early? maybe she was waiting to see if they would be compatible? Marriage is a big commitment, and better to get rejected than to get divorced, don't you think?

[DianaWest]

and by your logic, every time someone is dating someone else, they should say yes if they propose? come on, how many girlfriends have you had? if they each proposed to you, you should have said yes to all of them? sometimes people date for 2 years, and then realize that they became comfortable, but that they stopped loving them.

[worldscolide]

@DianaWest I will dignify your response only with this... i have asked just one person to marry me, and she said yes. If she had said no, the relationship would have ended... I dont tolerate time wasting.. end of story end of discussion

[DianaWest]

@worldscolide okay, fair enough. i wouldn't want to waste 2 or 3 years either, but know that fi you ask a person to marry you after 8 months, they may have some good reasons for saying no. it depends on when you ask them, and whether that person knows you well enough to say yes. i would say that if a person can't decide after 2 years, it is time to end it.

[worldscolide]

Oh I asked after 2 years.. 8 months is way too soon

[tiajoka]

No. Sometimes the other person just isn't ready yet. That doesn't mean they don't want it with you. But if your relationship is over three years long and they say no then... yeah probably. At that point they're just extending something they most likely don't take seriously.

[Bee-Hatch]

Not necessarily, but for many the point is marriage and family. If that's denied, it becomes difficult to see what the point is in a relationship without that. And for some it can feel like a betrayal of the time put into the relationship.

[sweet87]

Depends on the reason for saying no and if you can both be adults about it! Some people don't deal with rejection well where as others will reflect and make an informed choice based on evidence presented to them! I guess it's a difficult one to answer unless you've been there! Whatever happens if you truly love one another I hope you can move on and still be together if that's what you want!

[Rocky_Jocky57]

Depends how mature the couple is. Just because one partner is ready, doesn't mean the other is. You dont know what she might be going through or feeling, if she says no, that's just a sign to see what's wrong.

[MrKinktastic]

Not necessarily, it depends on the context a lot. If it’s just too early they can chat and find out when might be a more appropriate window to ask. Sometimes people just aren’t quite there yet but are heading that way.

[jenn11161986]

It's up to the both of you. Better propose if you know she is already ready to spend her entire life with you. This is also a good test on how much you love her despite the fact thay she rejected your proposal.

[kleoyee123]

Yes. Because he showed her that he loved her.. more than anything in this world and refuses to be settled down. Basically saying I loved being your girlfriend but not you wife... it’s over dude.. Some people have there own issues and scared of commitment.. but depends all on the time. Don’t keep being with someone who don’t want to spend There life with you