If a man proposes to his girlfriend, and she says no, is the relationship over?

Question

rjroy3 · Accepted Answer

Touchy territory. I'd say by and large Yes it's over, BUT... if it's a "Not yet" or some variation of that, then not necessarily.

Because if the two are people who believe in marriage and that's something they think they might want eventually with someone, then the point of the relationship is to someday progress to building that family life together. If she says No outright. She is now saying "I do not want that future with you".

If you don't have the same goal, then obviously the relationship is over. How long until is cut is probably individual. But I can't imagine someone sticking around for long in that scenario. Personally, I wouldn't propose unless I was damn certain I'm hearing yes. So I've not seriously considered how I would go about that in the event of a no. But yes, ending it would be the move. If however she says not yet, or gives a candid reason to delay saying yes, then it may not be over just yet.

Let's say she wanted to get married. Madly in love. Knew this is the guy she wanted, but when it came time to say yes, for whatever reason she gets overwhelmed in the moment and says she needs time. Maybe she got new information about something that emotionally is weighing on her. Like perhaps she had an ex of 10 years, before breaking up and meeting you. She's been with you for 2 years, but 1 week prior her ex of 10 years shows up wanting her back and she never got that closure. Real rom com, but hey. Crazier shit has happened.

She's gonna be emotionally conflicted a bit. Her saying she needs time, or not yet or something to put off a yes could lead to the end of the relationship. Or it might not. Maybe she's just confused in that moment, the man handles the situation with grace and she comes to her senses only to approach him and say yes she wants to marry him a little later. I doubt the man who was in love enough to propose is now going to decline her, because she didn't automatically say yes.

Unit1 · Accepted Answer

Sometimes I think people place a much higher value on what we call marriage than the actual relationship itself. 😒

Call me ignorant but how about we end relationships because we have a different favorite color?

Him: "My favorite color is purple"
Her: "My favorite color is pink"
Either of them: "WHAT? HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE MY COLOR? This relationship isn't working out anymore. I am breaking up with you now and I will find someone, who will like my favorite color!"

shimmeryns · Accepted Answer

Depends on the reason why she said no.

I remember a story about a youtuber having to explain to her boyfriend why she rejected his proposal. He didn't know she was sick, she was hiding it and went to hospital frequently with her parents. She told him she wanted to get better and heal before she is able to marry him. She doesn't want him to get married with her then having to take care of her.

But if she simply said no for no reason then yes, the relationship should end.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Needs to be over most of the time. Always talk about marriage, BEFORE dating and before you decide to propose. If it's been years, and she still doesn't want to marry you, she's playing you, move on. I don't think doing that in some places like crowds, especially if you know she is introcerted and hates attention to do it in front of everyvody. For extroverts they thrive on it unless they have other reasons. Even so, a person who wants to marry you will want to marry you.

razelove · Answer

No, the man is a genius. She might walk away from the proposal, but you can walk away from absolutely anything else in the relationship from that point on, including obligation.

SydneySentinel · Answer

I'd say it's likely that the relationship is over.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

Not necessarily, but it's not a good sign. This is why I don't like the secrecy of a surprise proposal. Because if one person has no idea a proposal is coming, then there is the chance that they don't want to be proposed to. You gotta be on the same page with your partner before you do something like that. The surprise should be in the when, where, and how you proposed, not the fact that you proposed at all. Why would you go through buying a ring if you weren't already 1000% sure the answer would be yes? That's not fair to you or your partner

CubsterShura · Answer

Not always, as sometimes one may just not be ready to tie the knot yet. But it's highly likely that the relationship is doomed.

This is why I personally like the traditional engagement we do here by bringing all the family members and exchanging rings. That thing really happens when both parties have already agreed that they want to marry.

BCA6010 · Answer

I'd say it most likely is over, because clearly things were not going the way he thought, and probably not the way she wants either.

Now, I can think of reasons why it might not be over... If for example she doesn't believe in marriage but he is willing to accommodate that, and simply didn't know her stance on it prior, then it could be salvaged.

Tlaos · Answer

Hmm, depends on how big and grand the proposal is. If I failed to miss the tea leaves and you walked out instead of low-key dragging me out with you to explain, then yes it's over. If we were in def con 1 under a crisis... well let's say if you walked out and no contact afterwardsn because you "..." You"..." Felt "..." Etc.,, I'm glad you out. Cuz I was thinking of us, we. This event saves me time in long run

Moonchild714 · Answer

Not necessarily, it depends on her reaction and reasoning. She just may not be ready for that step, people often think engagement means start planning wedding right away. The healthy way is just enjoy the engagement for a while before starting the Wedding plans also taking that time to truly discuss what your life as a Married Couple will be like sort everything out and discuss what kind of wedding the "Two" of you want not just the Bride it's "His Big Day" also!!!

Screenwriter · Answer

IT's according to why the no came about. Is she not ready, but she does seriously love the guy? Do they need to talk about marriage more and what their mutual goals are? Or is she just not into him that way? You've got to ask the questions to get the answers.

SimpleRhubarb · Answer

It depends mostly on time. If he proposes after one year, and she says it’s too early to be engaged, the relationship may continue. If it’s been five years, and she still won’t accept a proposal, the relationship is likely over on his terms—why waste time with someone who doesn’t want what you do?

Dusty_06 · Answer

From personal experience, it's a kick to the nads. I mean I was put in a limbo state where I did t get a answer until around the time she broke up with me. Or the only time she referenced it was one time when I was asked when I wanted the wedding to be. It may not be over, but hurts like hell

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I wonder if there ever has BEEN a base for a relationship.
If a man would take the trouble to really know his girl - he would also know when NOT to ask.
Looking at the sample picture: this pathetic pose on his knees -and in public- most likely preceded with some silly 'speech' and soapy statements --> he had called for it.
Not surprising: a guy who can't match the colour of his shoes to that of his suit is an indication for poor judgement; this girl did the right thing.

Anonymous · Answer

If the guy's stupid enough to propose in front of a huge crowd like this, not likely. Unless the relationship sucks. A woman's more likely to say no - if she's not some meek suckup - in front of a crowd simply because it's embarrassing & far too much pressure to say yes.

worldscolide · Answer

It should be.. And her loss, if she says no, it means she was wasting his time, energy and money, all three of which are unforgivable..

If I proposed, and she said no, I'd kick her out of my life and forget she existed, as well as kicking her out of my home, my cars and everything else.

tiajoka · Answer

No. Sometimes the other person just isn't ready yet. That doesn't mean they don't want it with you. But if your relationship is over three years long and they say no then... yeah probably. At that point they're just extending something they most likely don't take seriously.

Bee-Hatch · Answer

Not necessarily, but for many the point is marriage and family. If that's denied, it becomes difficult to see what the point is in a relationship without that. And for some it can feel like a betrayal of the time put into the relationship.

sweet87 · Answer

Depends on the reason for saying no and if you can both be adults about it! Some people don't deal with rejection well where as others will reflect and make an informed choice based on evidence presented to them! I guess it's a difficult one to answer unless you've been there! Whatever happens if you truly love one another I hope you can move on and still be together if that's what you want!

Rocky_Jocky57 · Answer

Depends how mature the couple is. Just because one partner is ready, doesn't mean the other is. You dont know what she might be going through or feeling, if she says no, that's just a sign to see what's wrong.

MrKinktastic · Answer

Not necessarily, it depends on the context a lot. If it’s just too early they can chat and find out when might be a more appropriate window to ask. Sometimes people just aren’t quite there yet but are heading that way.

jenn11161986 · Answer

It's up to the both of you. Better propose if you know she is already ready to spend her entire life with you. This is also a good test on how much you love her despite the fact thay she rejected your proposal.

kleoyee123 · Answer

Yes. Because he showed her that he loved her.. more than anything in this world and refuses to be settled down. Basically saying I loved being your girlfriend but not you wife... it’s over dude.. Some people have there own issues and scared of commitment.. but depends all on the time. Don’t keep being with someone who don’t want to spend There life with you

abc3643 · Answer

Not necessarily at all. Plenty of times, he asks again later or SHE asks and they get married. Sometimes, the time just isn't right for one of them.

Kelley1 · Answer

Your question provided insufficient information for a meaningful answer. Normally, that should be up to the girl, but if the guy doesn't take her rejecting as final, he may keep trying provided she continues to date him.

Mamaganja · Answer

Mine wasn’t over 🤷🏽‍♀️ he understood that I didn’t want to get married just because we had a child together.. it’s been two years since we had her and now of he asked me, I’d say yes..

AbleLearner · Answer

Definitely. I'm not wasting any more time with her., especially if she turned me down in public. I pretty much only date for marriage anyway.

Hannah_98 · Answer

I think it would depend on the circumstances. If she just doesn’t like him that much to make a commitment, then definitely.  Either way, I could see it making moving forward a little awkward.

Tommy2017 · Answer

When the response is a definite NO, of course the relationship is over. What would you be still doing together.
But if the response is LET ME THINK ABOUT IT, there might still be hope, so no it ain't over yet.

HawkPerception · Answer

It is most of the time, but everyone sees things differently so it could work out still. Chances are very low though. I know I'd be done after they say no.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Yeah, in my opinion their is no relationship because they have already signified that I am not a long term partner in their eyes (unless they have a very good explanation as to why of course).

JackSmy · Answer

For me, YES!! DONE, and leaving! If I thought it that wrong, and she said no, then I don't know here like I thought, so it won't work, and we are done! Good, in a way, though, so no divorce!

purplepoppy · Answer

You shouldn't do surprise proposal for that very reason. People need to be clear what they want from the start

TheBootyChest · Answer

It sucks that it happens, but it would be hard to want to stay if she doesn't have a valid reason to say no.

pleasestopthis · Answer

Depends on the reason to say no and the way of rejecting. If she's 100% against the marriage and/or gives harsh rejection then it's over.
If she wants to marry but needs more time (for whatever reason) there may be hope.

PondyPand · Answer

I'd say it would depend on what reason for no there is, and probably how much he values his ego over his partner.

cherrycharm · Answer

No I dnt think so.. Depends on the reason may be that was not the right time for her to bring it up and for the man it was. So depends.. Need to talk it out.

Stan83 · Answer

Usually it’s over. But sometimes you can talk about and understand if it’s a matter of time or different vision of the relationship.

StephenCF · Answer

I always imagined it was, until I met a colleague who said no to a proposal from her boyfriend... but they are still together and happy to this day 🤷🏻‍♂️

motownplayer2000 · Answer

For me personally. It's how she responds. If I do it in a public place and she embarrasses me because she felt uncomfortable. Probably, if she pulls me up and tells me secretly she want to talk about it and doesn't make a scene.. then not necessarily

Avicenna · Answer

I personally don't think it should be, but he really needs to get a lot better at reading the tea leaves.

Factshurt90 · Answer

Yes, she’s still debating other options. He was sold on her. Unequal love is never healthy

beldath · Answer

If the reason is that you're not ready yet, then no. Otherwise, I would walk away.

Mercurian_Brat · Answer

Normally no... like maybe she's just not ready they should be able to talk about it and know what to do

ChiTown33 · Answer

Uhm, what would be point after that?  I mean he tried to lock her down and she said no. Clearly he wants more and she doesn't.

YHL6965 · Answer

No, maybe she just does not feel ready for marriage yet or at all, and it's okay to feel that way. This does not invalidate everything you have built together beforehand.

roland77 · Answer

I hope they (in the background) are not laughing at him? No opinion about the relationship, but surely his heart is hurt a lot.

noxius · Answer

Not necessarily. It's all up to the individuals in the relationship and how their dynamic works. It will vary, can't say in a general sense.

ChiPaPa · Answer

Depends on the reason she said no and his overall take on it. Sometimes, multiple proposals are needed.  In my case, I'd feel offended and hurt. I would end it.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Not necassarily. But you need to talk about the future

Xoirwinkan · Answer

Maybe. My intention would be marriage in the end, so unless she says something like, "its too early", then she is a pass.

Anonymous · Answer

I’d personally think so. I don’t want marriage, but I would communicate that up front. However, if I declined a proposal, I would want the relationship to end because it wouldn’t be fair to my partner if that’s what they want one day.

one1wild00 · Answer

No, she may have wanted him to ask her at a certain time/place. which wasn't at that exact moment/location.

Nia_chan · Answer

Mostly yes, even if they stayed together i think the relationship would die slowly anyway bec what is he wasting his time for now !!

Juxtapose · Answer

Usually, yeah. I don't know how you could get over having your proposal rejected, assuming you at least waited a few years.

Navarro26 · Answer

Not really, Just means she's not ready unless of course she was already wanting to break up with him.

loveslongnails · Answer

It would be for me. What's the point in sticking around?

quipjohn · Answer

The new relationship between stalker and the hunted.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on at which point of the relationship he proposed and her reasons for saying no.

COMMODOREII · Answer

I'm not sure. It can be but maybe she needs time to think about it.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

It depends on her reason. The only reason it wouldn’t end the relationship is if she says she is not ready.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

No, it is perfect. Now if she brings up marriage in the future he can say it is too painful.

TravelerNikki00 · Answer

I’d say yes if I proposed to a girl and she said no I’d be done.

If a man proposes to his girlfriend, and she says no, is the relationship over?

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