If your partner physically restrained you because you had a meltdown, would it be physical abuse?

Question

You either threatened to leave or threatened or gave them the impression you were going to hurt yourself, so they physically restrained you to get you to calm down.

Massageman · Accepted Answer

As others have said and some more have hinted at, it would depend on the use and definition of the term "meltdown" in a given situation.

We have a friend at church who, for some unknown reason, freaks out at the thought of someone other than a bleeding heart socialist running- and then ruining- our country. Restraining her WOULD likely be considered "battery": she wasn't presenting physical harm to herself or us - yet.

If someone was having a bad reaction to a medication, an epileptic seizure, etc. , before resorting to physical restraint, the accepted practice is to clear breakables out of the immediate vicinity, call 911, and then attend to their well-being. It may require some degree of restraint, but never pin someone having a medical seizure, etc. 100% down. If you do not exceed your training level (a therapist, EMT, etc would be help to a higher standard in this regard, and will know what I mean about this), most entities will cover the care-provider under a "good samaritan" law.

Knighted2170 · Accepted Answer

It may or may not. It really depends on how the law is written. Usually it is not illegal if it is to protect someone from hurting themselves or others.

It becomes murky when you look at how that restraint was used and the amount of force used. To much force and the law may have been broken. Unreasonable restraint could also be a violation.

Restraining a person from leaving is another whole matter in and of itself. That is false imprisonment.

To really answer the question I would look up the laws in your area.

sabesauce · Accepted Answer

It depends on what actually caused the "meltdown" if you were a serious threat to yourself or others (such as a dissociation) then they have a DUTY to restrain you, to keep you safe. As long as they are doing it in a humane, safe way. I used to have dissociation very frequently and would often get aggressive. My mom would have to hold my arms and legs by sitting on me. I would thrash and kick to get out of it (hardly ever did) and that would use all my energy. That stopped me from unknowingly hurting my little brothers. So in that case, yes, restraint (humanely) was necessary.

btbc92 · Accepted Answer

Nobody can stop you from leaving. Period. It comes down to abuse when they refrain you from leaving against your will. Threatening yourself is another story, but now it's self abuse and the potential abuse of another.

beetie · Answer

People who are prone to "hurting themselves" or the likes have lighter and heavier periods of depression/whatever. If both agree during a moment of clarity that physical restraint is ok in such situations then yes.

But i tgink that has to be agreed on in advance.

bubbles328 · Answer

Erm no it's not if they are going to physically hurt you. If they are going to walk out and you restrain them it's abuse as you are controlling them for no gain other than your own. I had a boyfriend that used to restrain me to get me to stay it's not nice sometimes you just need space!

SphynxUK · Answer

What, an Autistic meltdown?
Or do you just mean you got angry and he restrained you?
Because if it’s the latter he’s out of order!
If it was an ASD meltdown then I can understand why someone would restrain you as some people don’t realise what they are doing and often hurt themselves.

SaraSmithishere · Answer

I mean, if I had a knife and threatened to slit my wrists, I wouldn’t be surprised if my significant other tried to stop me and put his hands on me. I could kill myself! I wouldn’t even be surprised if he called a psych ward if I acted that way repeatedly. But if I threatened to leave, then yes, that’s abuse.

Anonymous · Answer

Physically restraining someone is only ok if they seem like they are going to hurt themselves or others. Outside of that, it is abusive and controlling. My girlfriend did have to restrain me once. We were out eating dinner and a guy started yelling at and shoving his girlfriend so I went to step in. The guy tried again to hit her and she fell to the ground so I started beating dude's ass. Problem was I had no intention of stopping and I did not even hear my girlfriend. When I went to go hit him again, my girlfriend tripped me, put both my hands behind my back and sat on my hands where I could not move. She only stopped once I calmed down.

matchrestore · Answer

I struggle with your example of a partner threatening to leave... I don't think that's appropriate, but threatening to physically harm themselves or others, I think you just have to use your best judgement. Someone shouting "I'm going to kill you" in the middle of a heated argument is probably an empty threat unless they're holding a weapon or lunging at you at that moment...

PinkMichae · Answer

If they are trying to attack you or damage your property i think you have a right to retrain them. It's abuse if you do it because you're mad and/or they aren't a threat.

Barbaric · Answer

If they restrain you because you're threatening to leave I'd potentially call that abuse. Restraining you because you're going to hurt yourself I'd say no, that's them protecting you.

ThongQueenFlirt · Answer

No, it's not abuse of any kind. If anything, he's trying to keep you from harming yourself or him. He still cares for her or he probably wouldn't care if she hurt herself.

Rebecka33 · Answer

I've actually had this happen o me for threatening to leave a few times. Bow they just say leave if your gonna leave. The second one works better on me if they want me to stay cause it's like reverse psychology lol.

0112358 · Answer

Threatened to leave - abuse threatened to hurt themselves - potentially warranted.

lightbulb27 · Answer

no if protecting you from hurting yourself.  If they abused you when restrainted, that's another story.

Trooper205 · Answer

In my opinion, it would be much appreciated in the long run. In a Meltdown, I can hardly think, and most likely would do something I would HIGHLY regret later on. Perhaps Immediately after I recuperate. If my Partner would keep me at Bay, or hold Me from Irrational Behavior, She'd be My Hero later on! ❤️

VIVANT · Answer

Those are 💯 different scenarios  power is going I’ll finish later 😊😊

robertKugler · Answer

No... abuse is repetitive un wanted physical contact that causes visible deress in behavior.. and visible physical injury... which is noticably direct n purposefully intent on cause bodily harm or delivered to mask that intent...

Cherokeehp · Answer

If he thought I was a danger to myself or others then no it’s not abuse.

Ámayas_20 · Answer

If they done it because you threatened to leave yes, if it was because you were going to attack them no.

not329446 · Answer

Tough call.
One must evaluate the situation based upon personal knowledge.
To prevent someone from leaving a no starter. Legally and morally wrong.
30 years ago I would have said Yes. Prevent self destruction or death. Help any way possible. Now after seeing years of tormet and emotional trauma inflicted upon families and friends, I now say cut your throat and get it over with so we only have to go through this 1 time.

msc545 · Answer

It depends a lot on the nature of the meltdown, and the nature of the restraint. If the restraint was more injurious than than the meltdown, then yes, it would be abusive.

Pyrofox · Answer

I'd say no not if its a medically needed thing some people get severe seizures and the only way it to stop is to force the muscles and tendons from flailing/convulsing.

Belgie · Answer

Stopping someone from self harm is not abuse. Stopping someone from leaving, is.  These things are not equivalent, but the fact that you seem to think they are, shows you have problems.

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

It's ok in every situation you mentioned except threatening to leave.

pleasestopthis · Answer

It is justified if someone's life or physical integrity is at risk.

jessicasissy · Answer

If you are threatening self harm then no, it's not. You're not in your right mind and a paramedic would do no less if they came across you in a similar state

bloodys2 · Answer

I knew you were getting worse. Not cool. Be careful and seek help.

DocT1977 · Answer

If the goal was to prevent you from doing any harm to yourself or another, then no, that doesn't qualify as abuse.

AdithyaR · Answer

I believe it's okay if the person being restrained was either going to harm themselves or their partner.

Liam_Hayden · Answer

If you are threatening to leave: could be considered unlawful restraint or even kidnapping. You indicated that you were going to hurt yourself: that would be justified.

themythos · Answer

No. I've personally have had to hold more people then I've thought i ever would, due to emotional breakdowns, and panic attacks. Im not harming them im trying to help/protect them.

lilSuspectG · Answer

I don't know tho if u 2 love each other for yourself and then you have a great thing to be looking at. Tho if they just possessive and self centered they don't have any idea of how you feel

Princesschanel · Answer

Honestly depends on the situation. They can’t stop you from leaving, but attempting to stop you from hurting yourself isn’t a bad thing if it’s done safely

Konabeana · Answer

Yes that is physical and emotional abuse.

alance99 · Answer

Its fine as she is trying to calm me down and she would have to force her herself to stop me

counselor123456789 · Answer

No, as long as it was preventive and didn’t turn into any kind of assault

Shellyworld · Answer

Yea and no depends on the situation

Juggernautpunch · Answer

No. Preventing harm not causing it.

FictionalCharacter · Answer

I don’t so.

sensible27 · Answer

Suicide is technically a crime, right?

kenbtrue · Answer

They arrested me for that

Phoenix98 · Answer

I wouldn’t consider it abuse no.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't think it is.

OurManFlint · Answer

No, neither scenario reaches the point of abuse.

Iron_Man · Answer

They wouldn’t ever happen

WadeDanielSmith2 · Answer

No, it's not abuse.

Jasoft · Answer

I would never harm anyone

Anonymous · Answer

I think I would love every tiny bit of it

luvgirlfeet · Answer

Plain and simple NO

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I think

Kiln2023 · Answer

I don't think it is

Anonymous · Answer

It really depends

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds hot af.

If your partner physically restrained you because you had a meltdown, would it be physical abuse?

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