Why Do People Move Too Fast These Days?

Question

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

It's a combination of technology (just because you can order something from Amazon or GrubHub and get it delivered to you in 24 hours doesn't mean relationships or people work that way) and social media attention, plus the erosion of morals (90s moral relativism), the "everyone is special"/special snowflake culture, "reality" TV promoting and celebrating (and monetizing) the worst, most despicable behavior and normalizing it, and a general lack of critical thinking skills. That last one in particular - schools and society doesn't want people thinking for themselves or questioning anything, they went everyone to think what they're told to think and do what they're told to do and believe what they're fed to believe, and tons of people, even "smart" people, simply can't think critically anymore.

The truth is that finding a relationship partner isn't easy, but trying to do so online is 20 times more difficult. Sure, you can find someone to fuck easily enough (if you're attractive enough, or lower your standards enough) - but finding a relationship partner is exponentially more difficult and complicated than that, and that's HARD - and companies have figured out that they make far more money catering to people's desire for shallowness and to demand WAY above their own level just because they can now search for that and get 200 results on their phone. In the real world, it doesn't work that way, and most people seem to be confused that it SEEMS to work that way online, except that it never actually works out. Well, DUH!

Apps like Tinder would be illegal if they tried to sell products that way. Imagine if you had an app called Cars, where the promise was that you could get cars for 1/10th their actual value, but all you had was a picture to go on. You'd swipe right on thousands of cars, but once you start investigating your matches, either the car was sold long ago or you only find out later that the engine is blown, the transmission is slipping, and the side of the car not facing the camera is all damaged. Yet you go on believing that if you keep swiping right, you'll eventually get a crazy good deal on a car. In reality, almost no cars actually get sold, and of those that do, almost every buyers regrets their purchase.

If you (and I'm talking to everyone here) want a relationship, you need to be looking for it out in the real world, not online. Online is a complete waste of time for 99% of people (yes, the VERY attractive might do fine on Tinder or similar apps) - it's an illusion that just wastes your time, builds up false hope and unrealistic expectations, and then kills your self-esteem. Stay far, FAR away.

And FWIW, I've embraced this for myself. Other than my company's social media accounts (which I don't do a ton with), I don't do social media - I don't consider GaG social media - it's a discussion forum. I haven't logged into my FB account in about 2 years, and I don't have an Instagram or SnapChat or TikTok account or any of that crap.

Massageman · Accepted Answer

Instant gratification.
The concept was fostered by instant phone calls anywhere, email, internet "news", instagram, social media in general, even Sesame Street with its short term focus shifts for kids who can't focus on anything for more than a minute or two.
People have instant communications, instant coffee, instant mashed potatoes, instant Tang, et al, so they think that a successful relationship can be made instantly too.
Take a memo- it usually can't.

JackSmy · Answer

I know, right? What happened to just dating, and taking the time to get to know each other, and discover 'little quirks' (that are so special and endearing, that you can't help but smile, and love that, about the other?) and just 'let it happen', like the first hand-holding, the first kiss, at an amazing sunset, the first time you cooked your dinner together, and realized you both had different ideas about soooooo many things, but laughed, together, drinking a great wine, and somehow made the meal, and shared it, and it was one of the BEST, EVER!!
Magical times, and simple things, but meaning so much, and then waiting, hating waiting, and wanting so much to be together, again, and share that, "Whatever" you have, and LOVE, about the other!!
All of that seems lost, today, and so few understand that.
For me, meeting, is like a fine wine, and I want to slowly savor, our time together, and discover all the subtle nuances, of her 'flavor' of who she is, and how we relate, and connect.

NamerOfStars · Answer

I'd guess as a by-product of growing up in a quick-fix instant satisfaction society. Look at the great cathedrals of Europe (stick with me here). They took decades to build. The people who started making them knew they wouldn't live to see them finished, but they worked on them anyway, because they knew they'd be finished someday and seen by someone- even if not them or their kids. We don't really have that these days, that sense of community and belonging to a larger, continuing whole.

Me, I come from a big family, and I can see the enormous value that comes of having multiple generations living and interacting together. I wonder if you have the same romance-rush in cultures that are more, for lack of a better term, family-oriented.

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

everyone is always in a friggin hurry... for everything... we live in an instant society where microwaves have taken over cooking... everyone has thrown their conservativeness to the fire because it's seems like the thing to do... the media told them it's the thing to do and if you dont... ohhh if you dont, you're the most judgmental party pooper that's gonna die alone... Q - Q at least that's the vibe i get from these hoes

ineedatan · Answer

Really? I actually see the opposite with people taking it slow and a loooong ass time to settle or want commitment. And the way I observe and believe to be why is cause many are more focused on bettering themselves, wanting to feel established/ accomplished first before settling - being financially stable/comfortable, happybwith their career choice, have the opportunity to travel first... est. Many have accepted common law relationships, and the idea of settling down by being legally married is damn scary for most.

the_sinner · Answer

For the sake of making their relationship more stable and official they try moving too fast. They think that after they've made their relationship too strong, when they have any misunderstandings in the future either one of them will face problems when they try to separate, hence settling for a mutual agreement and continuing their flawed relationship.

Instead of moving too fast and facing problems later, they should move slow and figure out what they have to rectify so that when their relationship has actually grown atrong and stable they won't be facing any unwanted misunderstandings and problems.

ecfresh · Answer

Great question. I think it’s the Tinder generation having an influence. We’ve discussed before that it’s backwards.. people want to hook up and only if there is a connection then they decide to date. So weird. Guess I am a dinosaur, relationships are built on trust and communication not on sex. You are so right to ask, what’s everyone is such a hurry for? Relationships need time apart as much as dates together to mature feelings.

Fatherhere901 · Answer

Everybody is into “instant gratification”. That means getting what they want as quickly as they can. Unfortunately, this goes over into young people. Whenever someone sees exactly what they want , they want to lock it down as quickly as they can before they lose it. This also has been exasperated by everyone's need to know exactly what the other person is thinking. Too many times people have said “well he didn't show any interest” or “she just wasn't that into me”. This is cause people to express their feelings more. And of course, everyone wants 2 marry the person they are in love with.

So, heaven forbid, Beyoncé “Single Ladies” ever gets banned from the radio because it was found to caused people to get divorced

SjE78 · Answer

cos people dont like to learn too much or get to know someone... i find this a bad idea that they dont want to find out who they are wanting to get to be with, cos not knowing will result in bad things happening and they only have themselves to blame if they do...

TCredo · Answer

lol... love that last meme :)

It's funny as I've noticed with the mid-to-late teen crowd there is this notion of "talking" which I believe is like a flirting / pre-dating stage that goes on for awhile. So sometimes I wonder if that generation is maybe going slower with relationships... Then I heard from a single friend (early 40's) and it's like "she's moving in" after one date and I'm like "huh?" lol. So to your well asked question, I have no idea :)

Aakash_Hangargi · Answer

Bc you don't get much time nowadays everything is moving fast earlier things were bit slow people used to start working at 25 and all untill then it was nice and relaxed now kids are working, there is lot of competition and you cannot predict what will happen I think marriages are becoming obselete in near future they will seaze to exist but people use sex as release of tension so they would go for it sooner they will do it in more practical terms to satisfy urges than being in love I don't know how relevant is this answer to the asked question lol😅

AaronKrieger · Answer

- Horny/Impatient

- Are inexperienced with relationships and want to experience the highlights of it quickly that they've seen on shows/movies/social media.

These are my two guesses depending on the relationship.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Lust, And again without patience. It's always lust at first sight, but if it turns into something over time that's the real key. I am fairly quick to lust and then falling love tbh but i always reflect over how long and if it still just feels like lust. It's good to know the difference it's really Key in my opinion. And no lust ain't just as simple as lust for sex you can lust for that emotional attachment too. Really have to reflect a lot on this to figure it out.

Anonymous · Answer

Because life is a competition and whether they'll admit it or not everyone is in competition all the time. This goes for both genders. So they go i need to be hear by 20. Here by 30. Here by 40 etc. The funny part is as you get older you start to realize how temporary everything in life is. How quickly life can change in an instance. And it's not that you quit fighting to get ahead bit you realize life is too short be stressed and angry all the time. You learn to enjoy the ride more.

I-C3_ME · Answer

Move to fast? I think people are slowing down actually. My grandfather had a kid on my age and another on the way. I think People aren't moving to fast, they just don't want to settle to fast because the hurry that previous generations had isn't as strong anymore

DizzyDesii · Answer

I actually meet more people who move too slow. I see no reason to have to date someone for 5 years before realizing you’re ready (unless you're in high school). So i rather them move fast then slow. I rather tell them to slow down then ask them why theyre not moving fast enough

Grond21 · Answer

They don't have any standards to operate by anymore. When the sexual revolution happened, the baby was thrown out with a bath water. And with everything being a click away, people have much less patience these days

loveslongnails · Answer

Immediate gratification has been the norm since the advent of cell phones, especially smart phones. And now... this ///

FictionalCharacter · Answer

Even though people are using technology and apps 24/7. They crave for human interaction.

Avicenna · Answer

PProbably because they know the other person Is stil on dating apps unless the Y are official and exclusive with you

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Some people just don't like to be alone. You see it in people who get divorced and then they are engaged again within no time.

ThatGuy133 · Answer

Fear that someone else will de-throne them. They have to jump on that person like a lion on an antelope, claim their territory.

likelyOK · Answer

I'm not sure but my best friend got married after 7 months and she is happy I hope the same for me.

GR00VY · Answer

I'm pretty sure it's stuff they seen on social media, or that they're just horny 🤧

DanaeAdam5 · Answer

Because they are scared that they will end up alone.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think sometimes their looking for a hookup and sorry I don't swing that way

genericname85 · Answer

are they? i think the opposite is true. i mean family planing and marriage is slowly but surely shifting from the early 20s to the mid 30s... so those are trends that are objectively observable in society. i don't really see "people moving too fast". maybe some do but i don't see it as a trend in society. i see it as "exceptions".

talulahbee · Answer

Life is short. If you know what you want and both people want the same thing then power to them!

WowwGirl · Answer

Times ah wasting.. no, I don't know i didn't know they were moving so fast

KingdomForAKiss · Answer

Wise men say, only fools rush in... Oh I've been a fool.

msc545 · Answer

With the world in the state it's in, you never know if you are going to see another day.

Aquiline_feast · Answer

Never been in love actually, always in desperation. They can't make differences between lust and love. That's called lust and desperation.

Anonymous · Answer

Probably they go on Bumble or som stupid sight and have sex with someone they don’t really know right off the bat. Then move in together and right away with someone with don’t even love and create demon spawns because they didn’t want them.

Ianto · Answer

One effect of internet dating is we all have several irons in the fire. If you don't move fast, one of the other contacts will. I've just seen this in action, where 2 ladies I've been seeing for a while were both a little reticent about getting intimate. Suddenly, one of them invited herself to my place for the weekend. The other, obviously, is now out of the running, after months of interaction.

hbg84 · Answer

Because most people would rather just have sex then get to know each other.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Because no one know how to delay gratification these days

888theGreat · Answer

We live in a fast food world. It is give it to me now generation.

Jamie1865 · Answer

What's fast, in your opinion? And am I right that this is referring to sex/sexual expectations etc? Interesting question - hence me wanting to double check.. I'm now going to read everyone else's answers!!

venomhbk1313 · Answer

Because they want love and just rush in head on when patientence is key

mrgspoter · Answer

Time and life will fuck you up if you do nothing or take to long.

LemiaOfTheCodes · Answer

Pressure, People put their friends under pressure to have sex with their partners etc

Jjpayne · Answer

I feel like it is a time of greater gratification but also for those that are older, it's best to be able to get as many younger years as you can get

OddBeMe · Answer

Perhaps they’re pressured by friends getting married early. Not sure why 20 is an age to get married and have kids.

leftis25 · Answer

Social media.. girls have 50 desperate guys per day flirting with them.. in the old days no one even knew them.. soo every girl now is like she is famous because of insta and shit

Amanda2 · Answer

I Move fast and slow down in the end

supercutebutt · Answer

Because Donald Trump has cast a stupid spell on Americans.

calebhall1 · Answer

It's easy now its completely acceptable to move quickly in a relationship so that is what happens it's simply more accepted than it's ever been

legalboxers · Answer

they are afraid to be alone. With this 2020 shit going on.. would you?

Phoenix98 · Answer

In some ways yes that is very much so.

reptocarl2 · Answer

For guys it’s to get laid. For women it’s because they’re desperate

AcidT0y · Answer

Well the world is moving rapidly towards it's end so if you don't move fast then you'll probably be eradicated before you get anywhere.

hectic69 · Answer

Why not just be friends that fuck n become best friends too. That way there is no pressure to get married n all that crap.. Get it right first I recon..

COMMODOREII · Answer

With covid, you would think they will move faster.

GreenGold1992 · Answer

Maybe they feel like they're short on time

Agem123 · Answer

More options and afraid of being alone.

Anonymous · Answer

It's how we know the world. Can't help it anymore.

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Technology

LasloKeller · Answer

because the pace of the life of our entire culture has increased and this itself

simplelikeme · Answer

🙄🙄🙄🙄🤣

JosyJosy · Answer

No idea, Sex is the norm it seems. Like early on

crazy8000 · Answer

Why do people move to slow 😉

Why Do People Move Too Fast These Days?

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