How do you reassure someone who is scared of you?

Question

lilyanony1 · Accepted Answer

NO ONE should be scared of you unless they were threatening your safety first.

As you've offered very little information this is my offering to you.

What I'm asking of you requires a serious amount of control and discipline.

You need to ask this person to be honest with you. In the first instance you listen.
You tell them that this conversation is about hearing them out. Thank them when they are finished, maybe hug them when they are done.

Reassure them that you will think on what they have told you. That this will require some thought on your part.
(take some time to acknowledge, accept and understand what's been said)

Don't react defensively as there is something to learn.

If they are telling you things like when I talk to you, you snap and yell.
You need to practice anger management.
A healthy outlet, relearn how to treat others with respect, speak calmly and clearly...

If they say something like I've tried to express my feelings but I don't feel comfortable. They lack confidence, and require gentle pushes and reassurance.

If they themselves are aggressive and you are coming back at them with anger you both need anger management.

If when they tell you something and you say "yea, whatever." you are careless of this person you have chosen to be with.
You don't value anything or those that make sacrafices or compromise to be with you.
Their fear stems from being in something that they want but offers very little in return.

When you have thought about what they have said think about what you will do to try and resolve this. And let them know, it may require you to alter something slightly and or ask for something from them in return to help with this.
The key is communicating this and acting on it together.

I could be completely wrong about this but I personally think this could be of help to you.
I wish you the best of luck.

Please give updates if you can 😊👍🏾

Mickey9999 · Accepted Answer

You can’t really. If they are carrying pain from past relationships, they need to work through that on their own first and foremost. There’s nothing you can say or do. Except maybe give them patience and space to work through their issues. Once they do that, they will still be scared or nervous but they’ll be able to move forward

winterfox10 · Accepted Answer

Jean, why are you trying to reassure anyone of anything when what you want seems to change so regularly? It seems to me that you owe the people in your life some honesty. If you're having a crisis of faith and conscience about your Fiancee, then you need to tell her that, and you need to let her know what you have to do to get better.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

In what kind of relationship? What is the cause of their concern?

cc-catlady · Answer

Your question should specify on what to reassure on about to the person whos scared. Ill assume you mean reassuring to not be someone they're scared of. Think when they started to get scared of you what were you doing. Then be super soft, cautious and respectful to them and let them approach you again, instead of you making it known as an issue of how they're scared because that doesn't show you're sorry for making them become scared and embarrasses them. Don't try to let them know you see how they're scared of you, show them calmness and comfort to help them see it was a one/rare impression you had of being like that and normally you aren't acting like that, once they get use to being with you behaving as not scaring them and notice that as time goes on filling away you once scaring them as what is in the past and you learned to not ever do again, they'll move on forgetting how they were scared of you because they have now seen you recently being better than you were as what is now old memory you learned to never create to do to them again. Give them time to see how you changed and you will have fixed ever being seen as someone theyre scared of

CriticalDiscourse · Answer

If someone is scared of me, I give them space and don't interact with them. I let them decide if they want me to interact with them further and how to proceed with communicating with them if they desire that.

GothRose2 · Answer

How do you reassure them of what? A little more details would help

centerline · Answer

just be yourself... there is nothing more you can do to change their mind, unless you are trying to "convince" them, in which case they may find out you are not only scary, but also manipulative...

if they dont come around to liking you when they get to know the real you, maybe you have something about your personality that you need to work on and change...

Snakeyes7 · Answer

The best way to do it is through your actions. Once the person has seen you enough times they will eventually get a better feel for what kind of person you are.

hahahmm · Answer

What are you afraid will happen?

A_Nihilist · Answer

I wouldn't reassure them in all honesty. If they want to be scared of me then that's their problem.  It would be completely illogical to have unfounded fear of a me personally.

Iron_Man · Answer

By proving yourself showing kindness to someone and showing them how you are For real

BleuNiles · Answer

Be consistent and allow your words to line up with your actions.

sensible27 · Answer

Be careful, actions. Gentle (be gentle)

ColoradoKid · Answer

Do you sense a malicious intent from this person?

SavageGirl101 · Answer

Umm I’ve never made someone scared of me before

grega239 · Answer

No. It's not my problem

msc545 · Answer

Be gentle, talk with them

jizzyjay · Answer

I scare them multiple times to desensitize them

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