Should I break up with my boyfriend? He doesn’t want to wait to have sex and I want to wait until engagement to have sex?

[Anonymous]

I’m not religious or anything but I want to wait to have sex until marriage ideally or engagement. He doesn’t seem to want to wait so should we just break up? Been together for 3 months but I already feel tension about this issue

Yes

No

A total of 29 votes were cast: 13 girls and 16 guys. See detailed results

[JuliaStyles]

In my opinion if a guy can't wait for the prize he is just in it for sex and not for you. So definitely drop him if it's a deal breaker. If this guy really wants you he will wait. But never lose yourself while trying to hold on to someone who doesn't care about losing you.

[caring__1]

I'm not sure if he is fixated on sex and selfishly wants to rush it or he wants to make sure the two of you are sexually compatible before tying the knot. Hopefully, both of you will take the time to address the other's concerns. The key to a healthy relationship is showing we want to hear and understand the other, not insist on being heard and understood. His perspective is just as legitimate as yours... the question is whether both of you care enough to consider the other person's feelings.

[slatyb]

Probably you should split. Sounds like you have entirely different notions of appropriate sexuality. How do you imaging sex in your married life would be? How often? What activities? After 3 months you should have discussed it, instead of him whining for sex and you telling him you won't until you are engaged.

[btbc92]

Your not compatible and you'll be feeling used, hurt and he'll feel sexually frustrated and blame you for not putting out. Date guys who share your vALUES! Please! That's why you date a FRIEND. NOT a STRANGER.

[btbc92]

Get married. Don't settle. Waiting for marriage is not religious. It's the right thing to do. Because if you don't marry guys like him will think that he doesn't have to put effort. They often just want sex anyway but say they want a relationship. They want a relationship with sex in it without stable commitment.

[Asker]

That’s my goal but so hard to meet guys like this so settle seems inevitable I thought he would be willing to wait but turns out he isn’t

[btbc92]

I know. I would have been married at 18 if it was so easy. But God is good. Trust him for everything. Because sadly, it's hard to trust anybody out here. But stay true to your values. Can't force anybody into anything they don't want to do.

[WesBrewer]

I also want to preserve my chastity so I get what you mean, he seems to be more of a play around kinda guy, you want someone who is serious with you and can accept your reasonable conditions, no sex is very reasonable so he can't tell you it isn't. most relationships that have pre-marital sex get divorced down the road, and divorce doesn't help anything.

[fordex]

If you really don’t want to, that is your choice. But there is a point of, what will change if he proposes versus if he didn’t? A pregnancy that may result in abandonment? Whether he’s engaged or not if a man does not want to be an actual present Father, they’ll leave no matter what situation they’re put in that they do not want to be in.


I say find yourself someone who has the same values as you do.

[Asker]

That is true. Thank you. I guess he seemed fine with it but now there’s tension but you’re right if he loved me this wouldn’t be an issue

[fordex]

For me instance, and not all men are like this, physical intimacy is important for me and some other men, because it’s shows you we love and care for you. Sharing that intimate moment is very vulnerable moment for us.

Sometimes it’s easy for others, others it’s harder and more trusting. But if he loved you, he’d understand and compromise in some form. Like waiting for engagement, or waiting for a special moment that you and him can agree on.

But like I said, it is fully up to you and what you value for yourself and your womenhood is up to you. If he cannot wait or does not want to, or worse; cheats. He is not worth your time in the first place if he cannot wait in the first place.

[Barry88]

Seems that this is a deal breaker for you. It's giving a lot of tension already after only three months. That leaves just one realistic option: break up.

[KatherineJ]

If you can’t come to an understanding then you should really discuss the future of your relationship with him.

[DavidFox]

What’s your main fear if you have sex this month? What would change if he asked you to marry him on New Year’s Day?

[Asker]

Then I would it’s about commitment for me and not wanting to sleep with guys unless we have a future

[DavidFox]

Makes sense. So then I assume you don’t kiss or make out with him either? How far if you do will it go until you ask him to stop?

[Asker]

I do just not sex

[DavidFox]

If I was him and I heard that it would be confusing tbh

[DavidFox]

Why would he commit to being your exclusive boyfriend if he didn’t imagine you in his future life?

[Hangry22]

Not all guys get into a relationship with a future in mind

[DavidFox]

I’m going to have to push back on that comment. Sure there are some guys with bad intentions just like there are some girls with bad intentions. But the majority of guys do get into a relationship with the future in mind, otherwise they will just keep dating. Now perceptions of ‘the future’ will always vary between individuals but the act of committing to an exclusive relationship alone demonstrates a level of commitment and over time that commitment likely deepens.

[Nesssa_a]

If he doesn't respect your wishes, then maybe he's not the right one for you.

[SageWisdomMan]

You aren't compatible, let him go and find someone who wants to wait until marriage.

[pizzalovershouse]

Only if you can't get him to stop saying it by saying im tobpoint of wanting to break up over this then see if he changes his mind if not move on

[Dinosaursandanime65]

Sounds like an axe is calling for you. Go talk with it, it’s got some business with you, you need to discuss. Hehehehehheheehhhhh

[Mrtcn01]

it is about respectfull if he does not respect your idea so you dont need to be together.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should break up as you two are not compatible and he should have the opportunity to have sex without guilt.

[CreamySeed]

GL with that 🙄