Why is it so hard to find a partner?

[Anonymous]

Anyone else feel the same way!

[zeitgeist057]

People are getting more and more picky. I'm not complaining, I'm also getting more and more picky. I don't want to waste my time with people who are not going to be a return on my "investment". I am busy with my life, going to school, work, saving money, working on myself staying in balance with physical fitness and bettering myself with mental development, knowledge, meditation, etc. So I don't have a lot of time to waste on other people who are not enriching my life.

But you are right, it makes it hard to find a partner. Ironically, my "perfect girl" is probably out there somewhere right now exercising, working, or otherwise improving herself but she's so busy that we won't meet up lol because I'm busy too.

So what is the answer? I don't know, but I've got a date tomorrow with a girl who suggested we go hiking so we are going to take my motorcycle to a local climbing spot. I had a really great all night conversation with her so I am hoping we click. But if we don't, it's also fine,; we need to be prepared for whatever either happens or doesn't, naturally. I am a big fan of being independent and not relying on someone else for my happiness. I believe happiness and fulfillment is something you bring to a relationship, not something you expect from it.

[HawkPerception]

Even without Covid, it's extremely hard to find a partner that has chemistry with you and is completely faithful and commiitted. Dating sites were supposed to help find someone right for you, but it's done the opposite. People don't take as much effort to talk to people they've met in person and talking to someone else is right around the corner so they lose interest with one person a lot easier than before. People in relationships nowadays tend to focus on the negative aspects of the relationship and once something happens that they don't like, they think "oh well I can find someone better pretty easily." Social media and dating apps has made it very easy to communicate with people around the world, but has also severed the kind of relationship you had with people before.

On top of the social media and dating apps point I made, many people are immature in relationships and don't handle them properly. Most people don't seem to understand that similarities are what bonds people. Similar interests, views, way of communicating, humor, etc. If you have similarities, then most likely you have chemistry. But it's extremely hard to find those traits in a person.

[David92506]

I enjoyed reading your comment and gave it a "thumbs up." The only thing I would like to add is that most of us spend lots of time on social media. We are constantly looking at beautiful people. So we expect a partner of the same standard. People are picky in this regard. I don't know if this is true but it seems that way.

[lilyanony1]

So I can't speak for everyone but I'm my experience I find people do this things I call future faking. I don't know if this is a thing. But they promise x y and z to see how you'll behave, to get the best out of you. Then when they're convinced you're convinced offer less and less all the while pushing that future back.
When I was growing up I was taught not to quit. So some of the most unbelievable situations I endured because I wanted the prize or certificate etc. (which might not have been the outcome but I still tried)
Anyways I put that dedication into my relationships.
But I got the feeling I suffered simply because they enjoyed watching me contort myself and not quit.

The key is finding a person that does not see this as a trait to exploit but more a reason to build something of value with.

The problem is I don't come in a shiny package like Kim k so my social worth isn't as high!

[David92506]

@lilyanony1
It seems to me that men who promise a woman X, Y & Z are smooth talkers who want to get into a woman's pants. I wouldn't trust them.

[lilyanony1]

Yea...

[Cynicaldreamer]

I've been saying that for years! Which is why in most cases, it's just easier to stay single, as sad as that sounds, lol

As for why it's hard to find a partner? There's a plethora of reasons, but really it comes down to various factors. Such as-

• Are you in a bad location where dating is near to impossible?
• Your standards for dating and the type of women you're looking for.
• The type of people you're attracted to

Just to name a few. And then some people just have bad luck when it comes to dating- myself definitely included in that!

Nowadays people making dating WAY harder than it needs to be! As a result, people get frustrated, lie, cheat, play games, don't want to be bothered with dating, or just sleep around because they're tired of dating and trying to find a partner.

[David92506]

I enjoyed reading your comment and gave it a "thumbs up." The only thing I would like to add is that it seems to me, generally speaking, people are so self-centered and self-absorbed that they can't see beyond their own nose unless they want something from you. That's why it's hard to find a partner.

[HawkPerception]

Bang on as always.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@David92506 Yes!!! Another good point. They try to make dating and relationships all about them instead of their potential partner. Now while it's okay to look after yourself to a degree, there's a fine line between that and just being selfish and self absorbed- especially if you expect to have a partner in your life.

People in general are so self centered nowadays (I'm referring to the vast majority before anyone gets offended so calm down). Remember in the old days when people went out of the way to accommodate, do nice things for each other, and focus on other people and their feelings?

Yeah, that's how relationships SHOULD be.

[David92506]

@Cynicaldreamer
Another thing I would like to add is I think it's important to look at one's partner as someone who cares about you and is in your interest. In other words, they can look beyond their own needs and wants and consider your best interest. It seems to me that many people look at their partner as the enemy. Someone out to get you. I hope I'm making sense.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

I think people are too busy being too judgmental and having too high standards and expectations and also the way people are dating that is making it harder than it needs to be

[jennifer_bloom]

You have to have a strong sense of self and healthy mind or body before the options will come

[JDavid25]

It's funny because there are more people today yet, it seems harder to actually get with anybody.. And that's for a number of reasons.. People are becoming more asocial and are scare of random interactions with strangers they meet.. Also people make dating more complicated than it's supposed to be.. If somebody is cool, and you like them but they don't tick some boxes that's enough for somebody to move along or play with the person just to drag them along.. And also porn is not helping us.. Easy access to porn has made people more perverted but also less willing to go out and date.. If a person has a bad date, they just go home and rub one off..

[AmtgardJean]

Well. For men it is a numbers game. 98% of women are attracted to only 10% of men. No matter what anyone wants to be true attraction is the first thing that happens in most relationships. In general a woman on a dating site will have well over 400% more interactions with men than a man will with women. It is a little less with RL meeting places such as bars. There is actually a huge amount of data that shows for those of us who are not in the top 10% of attractiveness, as far as men go, that things are getting worse for finding someone.

[DWornock]

I am sure there are many factors. The factors include:

1. Women have very and unrealistic expectations. For example, women judge 80% of men to be below average. Therefore, most men are going to be rejected by all except women from the bottom of the barrel.
2. Because men date down for sex, but almost never marry down, young women chase after the hottest guys that will fuck them and reject guys within their own league. This continues until the women are near age 30 or above. By then they have lost their bloom and the men they rejected at ages 18 to 23, no longer want them because the women are not the sweet, juicy, sexy young thing that were so appealing to men when they were years younger.
3. The laws and family courts that greatly favor women and punish men is not conducive to making men interested is seeking long-term relationships.

[David92506]

I liked your comment and gave it a "thumbs up." I would like to comment on your statement, "This continues until the women are near age 30 or above." It seems to me that if a woman can continue her good looks and physique, she will have men chasing her whole life. Granted the pool of men is far less than when she was younger. I have friends who are in their 70's and 80's that chase women 40 and up if they are pretty.

[DWornock]

@David92506 Of course, it is true that men in their 40s and 50s are going to find women in their 30s attractive, because although there are a few exceptions, as a general rule, unless they are wealthy or otherwise exceptional, men in their 40s and 50s cannot attract women in their early 20s. Already, I've noticed that most pretty 18 and 19-year-old girls think I'm too old. Also, even if not as rapidly as women, men age too so middle age or older men must settle for who they can attract. That, and to an extent, they have more in common and relate better to women nearer their age.

Also, ask yourself, who are the women asking, "Where have all the good men gone?" Certainly not women in their late teens and early 20s. Instead, they are women 30 and above that realize they are not in demand like they were a decade ago or more ago.

[David92506]

@DWornock
I was reading an article written by a Psychologist about women's issues. He claimed that many women have to push men away in their youth. However, as they get older and their youthful beauty fades, she notices men aren't seeking their attention as much. This has a huge impact on the woman's self-esteem and many go into depression.

[DWornock]

@David92506 At 20, they sell it; at 30, they give it away, and at 40, they buy it.

[SirJohn42]

Because this society is full of shallow people.
They dont have your best interests.
Its hard to find someone who values the things you value.
To many wussies. They get hurt to much amd not willing to give ya a chance.
Because if your not sexy or good in bed you automatically not important enough.
The standards seem to keep getting set way to high that you will never fit in. Dating is not like it used to be. To many go to tinder or dating apps. Which dating apps are full of fake people trying to steal identity or its not free for guys to chat.

[magiusX26]

millions of reasons

things like your prefferences and their's

timing or lack there of

the potential partner pool size

perceptions of you, themselves, other potential partners, and those who have influence with them.

each person's pasts

goals

personality

mood in that moment

[Raynor96]

In my opinion i believe it has big influence in the form of compatibility and how many different people you meet in your life. For me personally it is difficult meeting people my age because of work and the fact we live in an online age where everyone hides away at home. I don't think it's because people are not ready for commitment or because people are just not in that stuff in today's day and age. I think it truly comes down to finding that special someone who makes you want to be with them effortless on your part. From this we can say yes it is hard but it makes it so much worth it when you find that special person.

[Alyssa11]

Yes I do. I am also Middle Eastern and when you're a 20-something woman with a stable career society expects you to suddenly be in some kind of committed relationship/marriage. People around me are all somehow making their way through and then there's me, single as fuck. Doesn't help at all lol.

[Peanut127]

I say, it depends on location ur in or country. And COVID 19 issue. Guys want sex yet the virus can be spread that way. So meeting a fellow hermit, is not a bad thing, bc he's being safer. Dating don't need to be at a bar or eating dinner out. Why plan a picnic at a park where u both bring things far from people?

[David92506]

I used to be active on dating sites and I would take the woman out to eat so we could talk, etc. The bill, after tip, usually came close to $100.00. I got tired of those expensive dates and told women that I would like to meet at Starbucks so we can chat. I got the response, "I'm a high-quality woman and I deserve high-quality dates." They thought I was cheap. I don't think I could find a woman, on a dating site, that would meet at a park.

[Peanut127]

If girls like that reply that way, they are Def not worth ur time. Coffee dates work too bc u gotta sip it anyways lol 'high quality' girls are fake and don't know how to value a person. They just want ur $$ ugh

[FatherJack]

Because you are male , there are more men than women , combined with proportionately more women choose to stay single than men , men have to " tick more boxes " to be selected by a woman , than a man selecting a woman , so the deck is stacked against most men.

[Anonymous]

Once answer would be diminished polarity between men and women (masculinity and feminity)

Another would be this generation is dependent on technology (social media, dating apps, etc.) to get dates but we all know online women have plenty of guys to choose from, and then majority men give up thinking they aren't good enough purely based on online statistics.

Modern people have no social skills, and are terrified to ask out a woman (wondering what would she say, or what if she called cops or said I'm harassing her or made a scene)

[FilmGuy93]

Studies have shown that most eligible adults simply aren't looking for a romantic entanglement. I think more critically; people are always looking for whatever the next better thing is. They have a certain level of excellence they expect from themselves, and the online dating sphere has made window shopping easier.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the decline of the west. Relationships and dating are a thing of the past. Now the top 20% of guys get 100% of eligible women, the other 80% are left on the outside looking in. Don't expect to ever find someone, you will just be disappointed. Instead, focus on understanding who is responsible for this state of affairs and holding them to account for it.

[Anonymous]

1. Having standards or type of person you're looking for or in general not settling for less.
2. Location could do with it, especially during the pandemic people are working/going to school online so how can someone find a partner if you're not surrounded by others. Also you may not like anyone at your current work/school either.
3. Being shy

[Wolfinabbie]

Well it's hard to find a guy nowadays that doesn't want nudes or sext. Some girls are interested in personality and we just don't run into those guys. And if they are out there, then we only get a dry conversation and an uninterested kind of vibe.

[David92506]

Nudes and sext might be because of the age group - men making unreasonable requests. As you get older it switches - women making an unreasonable requests. All the women I meet want financial support.

[Lynx122]

How do you expect a guy to talk to you that in a interested way?

[red324]

I don't think women give it enough of a chance. I use online dating and have probably been on 200 first and only dates. My profile has pictures of me so that's not the problem. Nobody is really themselves on a first date, so to throw in the towel after one date is b. s. at least be friends. Of course the girls get a free meal out of it so they don't have anything to lose.

[bamesjond0069]

95% of women are completely unfit for serious relationships. Then out of the few that are y'all actually have to get along etc.

Before the girls jump on my case i agree its probably about the same for girls. Except im a man so that doesn't matter to me.

[Anonymous]

I think guys have evolved and better themselves. Girls and young women just want to have fun, they don’t want to be tied down. A girl who finds her worth only through her beauty and talking to a ton of guys won't be serious getting validation from one guy who loves her in a healthy way. But that’s the world we live in. Modern day feminism looks at settling down with a guy as a “chore”, as “oppression”, to be “shackled”. True love is dead.

[jshm2]

It isn't.

You're finding it "hard" to find someone to tolerate you enough to want to be your partner, is all.

There is a large difference, kiddo.

[Simon4132]

Well
1. I'm short like 4,11 short
2. I'm average looking. So not good looking
3. I don't get out to often
4. I like being in nature a lot. Most women around me don't like this.
5. I want a woman that is willing to ride a bike.
6. I'm short.

In my area not a lot of people like to be outdoors or my height is a turn off.

[AzzaBlue]

Well shit, here I thought that I had it bad. I am 5'1 and therefore most women won't acknowledge me. So I feel you, I really do.

[Simon4132]

Thanks man, appreciate it. I'm go ask this latina chick out today without asking her out. Hopefully she doesn't stomp my short ass. Haha.

[Qdbrown]

Too many options. Paralysis through analysis. Back in the old days we belonged to a tight community who helped us, and sometimes forced us to marry. Might sound bad, but it did simply things.

[JackSmy]

I think that A LOT of guys presume too much, and don't respect her as an equal!!
Probably more a 'LACK' of 'Something" on your part, than hers!!

[JamesRandiDebates]

Bitches ain't loyal. You don't need a partner, just a friends with benefits to occasionally drain your balls.

[David92506]

It could be we have unreasonable expectations.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/GeYs7cWxsHg

[NightOfTheSun]

Honestly, I only have a partner because I'm open to any person with a good personality as long as I can realize I am in love with them, try expanding your horizons whether it's gender or setting your standards a little lower

[Anonymous]

Because the lgbt community is taking over and it makes me sick, adding to that how social media is making people think that narcissistic behaviour is called self love which is causing a lot of separation between partners due to the lack of empathy and sacrifice this led them to think that they are always the victim!

[Unit1]

In my experience? The girls aren't interested. So...

[Browneye57]

You have to wade through a lot of chaffe to find the wheat.
The truth is, not vary much of the population is fit to marry. They still have a lot of personality development to get through.

[Hermes-Paris]

Finding a partner is easy. Keeping one is the tricky part.

[beldath]

Because not enough people go out to meet people in reasonable places. It's mainly internet now, and the internet sucks for meeting real people.

[jasco]

Because here in america, people are upset, lonely, annoyed and petty. To many negative things are going on and the chance of someone finding a relationship right now is low

[DiscomfortZone]

Because emotional/social/physical chemistry and compatibility is extremely rare. Even those who lead the social hirarchy only get more shots, not a guaranteed success.

[ramchandra9971]

Do feel the same... many times... in a day... but it's very difficult to find someone who may love you and care you the same...
😇

[JSmuve]

People are more closed off than ever, preferring to interact over text than in person because it's easier and feels safer.

[exitseven]

Get married, you will have more women interested in you than you can handle.

[jmf909]

Ok wish I knew I cannot find one and been trying for along time

[AdithyaR]

Cause finding a partner a maintaining a healthy relationship is a lot of work.

[KrakenAttackin]

Because women have no interest in "partnership". Women want aan slave with a six figure salary for a husband and an Alpha thug on the side for sex.

[DuaaT05]

You really don't need to find a partner. "What's meant to be yours will come to you." You just need to have patience, and believe that whatever is written for you is the best among all.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Doesn't apply to men.

[Anonymous]

Because our selectivity in mating is dictated by our predicted outcome for procreating

[Dchrls78104]

For me it seems impossible; I have never seen the kind of woman I want.

[TheFlak38]

Because women have all the options. You have nothing.

[David92506]

I've heard it said that "Women are the gatekeepers of the relationship."

[Arabella_Rose]

High standards? I think they deserve to be single then.

[moviedude714]

I never was a fan of the Dynamics of dating, oh well sadly can't do anything about it

[In_Trance]

Because you keep looking in the same places that you've looked unsuccessfully before

[NewGlados]

İ think this is not hard. We condition our minds to this belief.

[ManHater]

Women today are so demanding and hard to please. They want the world and men can't give it to them.

[David92506]

I've met so many women who have illusions of grandeur and they want the man to pay for it. It's almost as if they feel degraded if she has to get a job and pay for it.

[Oxerourrrv]

Abuse is rampant in regular relationships let alone partnerships. It is hard.

[David92506]

I liked your comment and gave it a "thumbs up." There are so many people out there with anger management issues. They yell, scream, throw things, and will even hit you if push comes to shove.

[Oxerourrrv]

@David92506 i have seen that too. Nobody wants to be around someone who can't even control themselves and gets angry over spilled milk. Even strangers feel comfortable taking their anger out on others over spilled milk and never say sorrybir have any shame for it. It blows the mind.

[Oxerourrrv]

@David92506 thank you

[David92506]

@Oxerourrrv
I would like to get your opinion about men who have anger issues. It seems to me that they get what they want in life at the expense of others. They live better lives. No one wants to get in their way. When they yell at you they get it off their chest. While the victim has to write about, talk to friends about, or even see a therapist. I've seen relationships where the woman just says nothing and he gets his way all around. "The squeaky chair gets attention."

[Fennec4xx]

Life partner is hard. And for other partners there are so much choices... maybe that is why it is hard to choose.

[Anonymous]

Because it's hard to find someone who understands you and someone you can trust.

[misanthropistkev]

I don’t think it’s hard to find I think it’s hard to blend two lives together

[Mscuriousme]

Cause now days it seems Peoples priorities are all effed up

[EverglowHushh]

Because every body sucks

[smilinjackal]

Because you or them or both of you are too picky

[cth96190]

For me, it was impossible.

[Ninjazzed]

People can’t be trusted these days.

[taeh_ie2]

It’s not, but It’s hard finding a good one.

[sheikalana]

Because there's a pandemic going on.

[Vivaldi]

It was so hard to find a partner before Covid too.

[MoreWhineMoreWhine]

Because you are looking on gag