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Is it toxic for your boyfriend to want to control how you dress? (Page 3)
Anonymous
(25-29) 
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No one should control how anyone dresses. You can have preferences, but you can't control or manipulate someone into doing what you want. That being said, your boyfriend sounds like a tiddy baby.
Do not anybody determine how you should dress or behave, unless your typical style is indecent and your behaviour worthy of the most savage of beasts.
I like women who dress modesty that's why i only date this kind or at least before i get in a relationship with a woman i explain to her this point then its up to her to decide. Its a deal breaker for me
You should always have a clear idea of who you want to date. Dating anybody, harvest toxic relations, like the one the girl is living.
It's also true that abusers can wear convincing mask, then show in private, the twisted person they are.
depends on how he wants you to dress
if you wants you to dress like a slut in public
I would avoid it
1 Timothy 2:9
Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire
Deuteronomy 22:5 - The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.
for you my friend im sure you are a fornicator
Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
@cheapshotbob
for if any man lust after another women
he has already committed adultery
?
THAT IS EVERY MAN lol
so guess what
we are all adulterers
i have not been with a women in 30 years of my own choosing , i dont see women as property or as something i need too have or want. i consider them something you deserve if you have a kind heart.
i have my flaws ys but i dont let my flaws rule my life , like you seem to be doing if you really believe that in your heart you have to be better than your self. ..
not worse because being worse gets you nowhere but alone, and for me i can say im very happy and very content i have all i need with out that physical sensation which you seem to thrive on , there are way better things and more important things to think on besides who is wearing what i who is sleeping with who.
its all pretty stupid
@cheapshotbob
one lets start off with this
1) GOD decides that not you
2) we are designed to have children but women are prostitutes so no point in dating anymore
3) I have not had sex in years I am avoiding women im RED PILLED ( Ecclesiastes 7:28 )
4) I accept the fact that most women are trash and will be going to outer darkness
5) the only way to fix this place is mass GENOCIDE ( and if you think what im saying is a joke read the end of the bible )
now do me a favor
GET OUT
cause I have had sex with so few women
you can count all of them on one hand
now get your virgin ass out of here
even the devil can quote the bible and from your understanding i can see why you think the way you do.
im not going t argue with someone who already has a hateful mindset, because while you think those things 5 more people have just jad a good day with there loving wife. girl friend and they appreciated another day of being alive.
and until you can understand what it means to appreciate whats given to you your not going to get anything on your own. and all that foul language does nothing for your argument except make you look inept with your thinking.
@cheapshotbob
ITS FAKE LOVE
how are you not getting that?
im not happy about it
BUT I ACCEPT REALITY
women give out fake love
for resources
which means they do not love us men at all
and only a few women do
and its not hard to figure this out
there is a reason only 7% of relationships work
you can't make anyone love you , if i learned anything from being single for 30 years , is that love is not something you can force on anyone, plus there is more to life than just love a woman. even though it is a nice thought you have to learn to love other things. dco what makes you happy being attached is only part of it and you dont really need that part paul is a perfect example.
he lived and died single he never looked for a love interest because he was busy doing what the lord needed in fact he suggested not having a sex life to keep yourself better prepared for things. but he went on to say you should marry if you dont think you can do that. because its better to be with 1 person than to die and go to hell for having more than 1 person in your life.
though im just speaking from what i know im not quoting bible , just from what i have read about Paul in other books.
@cheapshotbob
sorry but I do not believe the bull shit anymore
WOMEN DO NOT WANT TO LOVE
its all over the internet
all they wanna do is be whores
and guess what death comes there way
by the word of GOD
they think they are immune to GODS word
but they are not
Proverbs 6
For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance
HOSEA 2
and I will not have mercy on your CHILDREN for they are the children of whoredom
and now I will find her with her lover and and none shall deliver her out of mine hand
THIS HAPPENS EVERYDAY
Ecclesiastes 7:28
while I was still searching
but not finding—
I found one upright man among a thousand,
but not one upright woman among them all
Yes. That’s pretty bad, nip that shit in the bud while you can.
DTMFA. This is intolerable and will only get worse the longer you are with him. He has some very backward notions of how women should behave.
That’s not normal and he’s being way too controlling. You’re right, though, you’re 23 so you don’t need to be told how to dress. This sounds like an early stage of abuse.
If you don't like your guy then lose him. He likely deserves someone better.
Short answer: Yes. Definitely.
It will get worse later on, I can promise you that.
Yes. You know it is. I know it is. We all know it is.
Your partner should only hype you up never bring you down.
If he is giving suggestions, no. If he picks your outfit then yes, hell yeah
Sounds like he's jealous and doesn't want you to wear skimpy clothes in front of other men. That's not "toxic," or gender related, it's a normal problem a lot of both men and women have. Jealousy.
jealousy is toxic
@nevernevernever everyone has a bit of jealousy in a relationship. Are we all toxic?
@UnknownUser01 trying to make your partner change their behaviour because of your jealousy is toxic. Having emotions isn't toxic, but acting on them is
Excellent! So if my girlfriend tries to change my behavior when I am sleeping with other women I can tell her "You're toxic! Leave me alone!"
I like it. I like it!
@nevernevernever women will change a guy's entire wardrobe. Lol
@UnknownUser01 yes, and if they're trying to force him to change his wardrobe, that's toxic. I don't see a connection
@UnknownUser01
Exactly what I was thinking when I read this post. Every woman I have ever been with immediately took charge of my wardrobe. I had to keep my mouth SHUT.
@nevernevernever of course you don't.
Let's leave it there
@RingOfFire if your partner cheats on you, they've broken your trust. You don't break up with them because you're jealous, you break up with them because they're a shitty person and they didn't stick to the relationship. Trying to control what your partner wears because you don't trust them is a completely different thing.
@UnknownUser01 I don't know what you're trying to say. You see that women trying to change men's wardrobes is wrong, but since you've had women do that you, it's okay for men to try and control their partners clothing? I don't get your logic
@nevernevernever no where in my replies have I ever said its okay for men to change how women dress.
I was pointing out a double standard. If you Google " change my boyfriend wardrobe" you're going to get a list of articles from Vogue and other leading women's magazine giving instructions on how to do it.
Peace out ✌
@UnknownUser01 so? What's your point? Why come on a post talking about something toxic and then talk about a different toxic thing? if you want to talk about something, you can make a post talking about it, but right now it just seems like you're trying to downplay the actions of OPs boyfriend
@nevernevernever k...
Depends on why. If you dress slutty and he doesn't want strangers to see your body then I think that is okay. If he doesn't like you wearing red or something crazy like that then that is wrong.
I think it's weird that he wants you to be less sexy. When I go shopping for a girl, I usually buy her something really slutty. If other guys want to look, who cares as long as I gets my eyes full.
If my woman has an opinion on how I should dress it doesn't make her "toxic", she just has her vision on how to do things and I respect that.
Don't hesitate and ask him directly if it's a big deal for him about how you dress, and if it is in fact, just let him go and be happy with someone else.
What do you think about how does he dress? Maybe you are the toxic one in the end by posting questions like this?
If you actually read the post I never asked but I told him in a fewer words what I would wear and I also explained why I told him because in the past he has made sarcastic and passive aggressive remarks about my outfits. One time he did it About a dress being “too” fitting, the dress wasn’t even short, nor was it showing my vagina or anything but it was a midi body-con tank top dress so it showed my figure but I didn’t get it because of that nor did I wear it for that reason, the dress was just pretty and I loved the color and it went well with some shoes I already had and he commented and said “So this is how you dress when I’m not around.” When He saw me later that day and didn’t speak to me for hours so obviously I was gonna
attempt to communicate with him better about my outfits, I’m not gonna change my style, The next time around because of how he responded that time. I never I insult his choice of wardrobe, most times I’m complimenting his looks and the smell of his cologne and sneakers and his hats etc but with me it’s always an issue. I don’t get those same positive responses.
First of all, I did actually read your post.
Your problem it's that you're making it all about yourself instead of having a small conversation with him about your issue. You want to be right and you ask for validation from random people who obviously can't tell if you're overreacted or not, instead of actually address the problem directly and move on. People who actually care about their partners don't stub them like that on public, even if you're "anonymous".
Don't hide and don't play victim, talk to him directly about it and ask him to be sincere, if it's a big deal to him about how you dress, just let him go and be happy, you must understand that your relationship is not only about you! Better to break up sooner then later if that's unavoidable, you'll both heal faster that way. If you'll both reach an agreement then I'll be happy for you :)
Don't be passive aggressive and talk to him because chances are that your inaction will result in serious problems later.
That's not good!! That's how abusive relationships starts. He may sarcastically saying that. But it is making him really mad. Even if he was your husband. He has not right to tell you how to dress.
That’s a form of being controlling so yes that would be considered toxic behavior.
Dress however you want. If he can't handle it, then tell him to go fuck off.
Maybe he's just insecure, jealous and doesn't want other guys staring at you. It's common to have that. Just talk to him about it and build that trust. If he's still not understanding then it might be getting a bit toxic