Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Alyssa11]

Let's say I'm getting to know someone and I feel like their behaviour is off/they're not putting effort in/playing games so I decide to ghost them. Is that unreasonable?

I'm a really nice person generally speaking, and I really do want to be in a committed relationship. However, I don't want to be hurt either and if I catch one bad vibe I'm out... Is this good? Or am I blocking myself from a blessing?

[tallandsweet]

I don't think this is unreasonable, but I'd say that unless you feel physically or emotionally threatened by that person, give them a short explanation for your behaviour.
Being ghosted isn't nice. You don't owe anyone a justification for your actions, but I'd say that you can always text someone "hey, I'm getting a bad vibe from you, I don't want to text anymore" and that'll be the end of the story!

[Alyssa11]

Fair enough!

[tallandsweet]

Also, ghosting people giving off a bad vibe doesn't mean that you'll never find yourself in a committed relationship. It's perfectly fine not to give people you don't feel comfortable around a chance.

[Alyssa11]

Thanks! I hope so

[Waldoe]

other people's moods are important to recognize and respond to appropriately... it sounds like you are a Cold, uncaring person, you are doing them a favor by ghosting them, it's much better than "pretending to care" when you obviously don't.

[Alyssa11]

You can’t judge me off of a couple of sentences

[Waldoe]

you chose the sentences to post, not me

[invalid1]

Me watching you crushing and dating.

[Alyssa11]

I’m a disaster I know lol

[invalid1]

thanks for MHO Miss Disaster.

[Alyssa11]

Lol no problem

[ohshee]

No that's not being unreasonable that is being you that is being you have been through this before and you're not going to go through it again it's the bottom line

[COMMODOREII]

Sounds good to me. I do that too. You will find someone who will be blessed to have you. From the chats we had i think you are awesome. Don't give up.

[Alyssa11]

Aw thanks!!

[COMMODOREII]

Anytime my friend. *hugs*

[Alyssa11]

*hugs back*

[DJB72]

One bad vibe can be enough, depending on what it is. There's degrees of fuckwittery to navigate, so you need to evaluate what's something you can deal with and what's a deal breaker.

[Belgie]

It's fine - but if you're worried about the stigma of ghosting, then don't ghost, just dump.

[Hanrej]

What are YOU doing that seems like you're trying and commiting to a relationship?

If you're affraid of getting hurt as you say, can you really not imagine why somone may not yet feel ready to show any real effort?

[msc545]

You could have a talk with them instead of just ghosting them

[Alyssa11]

What do I say? I don’t get a vibe that were on the same page so it’s best we don’t talk anymore?

[msc545]

you could say to them what you just wrote here.

[DaveToo]

Everyone has a tolerance level that they can deal with. Some have a lower level of tolerance in certain situations than others.

[TheBigGuy9]

Get rid of anyone that lets video games control their life. Get a real man.

[Z1pTD]

I don’t see why it would be as long as you give them a heads up

[In_Trance]

if it was the other way around, would you want them to ghost you?

[nikhnikh]

IF u want a Committed Relationship Then u Rock?

But R u Serious?

Then be Careful Stay Active.
U are Going to Evolve.!

[AmeerX]

You are blocking yourself from a blessing

[Wise4myage]

No, but I say cut him loose and move on.

[Twalli]

You shouldn't ghost them.

[Slimpickins]

Well that’s rude

[Alyssa11]

Lol :(

[Alyssa11]

What do I do