Am I Being Unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 15–he was my first everything. Great relationship for years.

However the past few months once we bought our own place he’s been a very different person towards me, and our now 18 month old son. He plays video games nearly 24/7 and doesn’t help even when asked to help.

I do our laundry, dishes, take care of our son and dog, work and am in college, cut the grass and take care of our garden. He plays video games and works less than or at 40 hours a week.

Despite all of this I’ve been putting up with it since communicating gets nowhere. Well recently, his best friend became homeless after breaking up with his girlfriend and was planning to move in with us. We do not have a third room for him so he would be in our living room with a provided pullout couch and dresser that I got for him.

I had also gotten him a job at my workplace and have been offering him rides and help packing up to move. However, I just found out he’s planning to bring his cat here without my knowledge, since my boyfriend told him it was okay without discussing it with me first.

I am very insistent that we don’t house the cat since my family is allergic and wouldn’t be able to come over, we have a child who can harm the cat or her harmed or get into the litter box, and dog that can terrorize it, and no place to keep a litter box unless it’s by the dog food, as our home is small.

My boyfriend is very mad at this saying I’m irrational and that if I don’t let the cat come that he will leave me and move out. Unfortunately I cannot live in the house alone due to money issues and no other place to go.

Am I being unreasonable for not feeling comfortable with a cat coming to live with us too?

[NotInterestedSorry]

You have every right to feel how you feel. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable having a cat or even a dog I didn't know and who my baby had never met in the house either. Especially if family were allergic. Your boyfriend should have spoken to you about this beforehand

[Anonymous]

You need to dump this immature bum because he won't change. The obsession he has with video games is beyond childish for someone of his age.

[slatyb]

"He plays video games nearly 24/7 and doesn’t help even when asked to help."

It sounds like he's just overwhelmed with the responsibility. If he leaves you and moves out, it seems like you would be better off -- you would have one child instead of two.

[slatyb]

And no, you shouldn't have a cat in the house. He's being ridiculous. If he doesn't move out, you might think about filing for divorce since he's contributing nothing.

[Ben487]

the lazy nature of your husband is a little concerning but housing a Cat is no big deal. They are very independent and usually a joy to have around.

[Asker]

I do like cats but it’s not a situation where it’d be easy. My family is allergic and would not be able to come. If my sister is near my son and he has cat hair on him she will start to swell up. Our home is also very small and there’d be no place to keep a litter box where my son can’t get to it. There’s also not a third room so his friend will be in the living room so the cat has no specific room to keep to as well. That is the issue

[DextroShade]

You are not unreasonable at all, and his bum friend should find accommodations elsewhere.

[Celticwolf78]

It's your place sence he doesn't want to help you I'm sure you can find a friend who will help you