Would you dump your partner if they were depressed?

Question

Just wondering if your partner was depressed would you leave them or try to work things out to make them happy and support them?

zed-789 · Accepted Answer

I’ve been in this position before and I did not stay. Let me start off by saying that depressed people do deserve love and understanding and I did not leave because of him. I left because of what made sense for both of us. Having clinical depression, even with medication, it’s still a struggle. Especially in the early stages of being diagnosed, because ur doctor kinda prescribe random things to c what works for u. Other than that, some people r just better equipped to handle certain things compared to others. I was not equipped to handle someone suffering from depression. I tried to be there but sometimes what I think was the right thing to say or do ended up being wrong and the wrong things ends up being wrong and when I felt like I didn’t know what to do to help that made him even sadder because he saw that I was trying but simple could not actually understand how to be there for him. Any expectations of him being there for me during my lows throughout life became unrealistic, and I ended up being alone in handling my own issues when they arose. Which was fine at first but everyone has their bad days that they need somebody to be there for them. He couldn’t prove that for me because of his struggles which ultimately lead to a relationship where I was just taking care of him because he became so dependent on me to try and stay happy, validated and ok. So not only was I working and dealing with everyday highs and lows of life, I also had to work at making sure I constantly helped him through his own mind which many days left me personally sad, alone, unloved, feeling like I was working 2 jobs and unable to voice that. So I had to leave, for my own sanity and for him to learn a different way to cope though life without being fully emotionally dependent on another person.

This_is_my_username · Accepted Answer

No I would support them. When you love someone you're supposed to support them through their tough times and their best times. So no, i wouldn't leave it my partner was experiencing depression, that's when you need people the most.

ArrowheadSW · Accepted Answer

Some depressed people want to break up, because they feel like they don't have the energy or desire for a relationship. I don't think that I'd break up with someone just for that, unless they were that type who wants to be alone while they deal with it.

Rohaan2020 · Accepted Answer

Obviously support them as this is the time they need u the most... thats what are partners meant for..

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

Depression can be an illness in itself or a result of another illness... If you love someone, you don't abandon them, you take care of them, support them... What happened to "in good times and bad, in sickness and in health" ... Anyone that would abandon someone in their time of need, yeah that's not real love

ragequeen · Answer

You have to be very mentally strong or just as depressed as them for it to work at all. If you're mentally strong, that means you have to be stubborn as hell because you can't let their emotions affect you. Which is the hardest part. You have compassion for your partner right? You feel what they feel? In this case you can't. Because depression is a deep dark hole nearly impossible to get out of. Once you're in it you need therapy. Tread carefully is my advice.

My boyfriend has depression along with other things. I can handle it because I am stubborn, but at the same time Im highly sensitive so I can really feel him on his darkest days. I've cried so many times because of it. But I love him and I want to make it work. Still, I'm not going to lie. I've considered breaking up plenty of times. It really can easily get to that point.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I would try to be supportive and help her through her depression, just as I hope that she would stay and be supportive of me.

Screenwriter · Answer

It's according to the situation.
1. You can't make anyone happy. Only the person themselves can do that.
2. You can be supportive and encouraging.

But how long it's going to take for them to find the help that they need is anyone's guess. Some people don't believe in either therapy OR drugs to help with depression, and if that's the case, they're in trouble and if you're WITH them, you are too.
Though exercise and a positive attitude help, clinical depression can ONLY be managed with regular therapy and medication.
If the depressed person doesn't realize and accept this, your best bet is to move on.

Aquariusmystery · Answer

I have depression and anxiety and I know it’s hard but you do feel like a burden and try to hide it a lot. A partner who will even try to understand and support you is great, but if you can’t do that, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with anyone.

As for me, I still need to try and fix things myself, you can’t expect your partner to drop everything for you. I need to manage my own feelings and talk about stress, sure. But remember your partner isn’t your therapist, they are just your partner. They can only listen.

MommyC16 · Answer

Absolutely not because I struggle with depression everyday. However, I know from past experiences that it is in my best interest to be with someone who is not as prone to depression because I can draw strength from them when I'm down. It can be bad when both partners are "clinically", not temporarily prone to depression.

Interstate · Answer

One of the biggest ideals of relationships is being there for them. If you are just going to bail on them, then you wasted your time AND theirs for all that time.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Depressed just means im too lazy/uninspired to do what is required for me to be successful emotionally, financially, and in relationships. Its a cop out and speaks volumes about a persons capabilities, and confidence. Why would you want to be around someone projecting their ineptitude and not taking actions to get what they feel they deserve in life? Its not fair to you because its not your duty to make a person happy, its determined upon their decisions

Anonymous · Answer

My girlfriend's father set up a nanny cameras because he thought his wife was cheating while he was away. I was recorded screwing my girlfriend, her older sister and taking the younger underage sister's virginity within the space of a month. His wife wasn't cheating but she does masturbate a lot with a lot of really big toys. Girlfriend hacked into her dad's computer after finding the cameras and found it and broke up with me but I still have it and occasionally jerk off to it espicially to her mother. Best month ever, if there was no cameras I wouldn't have got caught lol

Rc81198 · Answer

I would most definitely stay with them and support them. I suffer from depression so I know that sometimes you can’t even get out of bed and on those days you just need that someone who is always there for you. My ex would often get mad at me for being depressed frequently and she would belittle me for not going out on dates with her while depressed. She ended up leaving me and since then I have worked on myself and become better as a person.

GoldenTulip · Answer

Never... if it is real love.. that love will not leave once your partner has depression.. your weak if you leave for such obstacle. If your partner suddenly lost his/her legs would you love them less? I hope not.. because then you are shallow and it is not real love.

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

I think it’s depends on how they handle their depression. If they aren’t actively looking for ways to improve their depression /my support is not helping, then that means they are using their depression as an excuse. Depression is something that can be prevented if you just find ways to cope with it. I have panic attacks and I can say the same about that. I would never put my partner through hell because I have panic attacks.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

As for me I wouldn’t & with all honesty I would try to support them & try to guide them towards happiness. On the other hand if their depression got worse & I couldn’t help them or guide them & it started to bring me down I would be out like a fat kid in dodgeball.

Leavesbound · Answer

That is one of the worst reasons I have ever heard to dump someone.

exitseven · Answer

No, everyone gets in a slump. I would show support and try to find out what is the root cause of this.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope. I’ve stuck with partners through far worse than depression

Marhaban-1 · Answer

Of course not your there for each other through the darkness and pain its your duty to make sure they get out the otherside

sheikalana · Answer

I had to once not because they were depressed but because they didn't want to be helped and didn't want to do anything to get better instead they would just complain about everything and everyone as if others are the ones to blame for anything they're going through in their lives.

Anonymous · Answer

You can be supportive but you can't "make them happy".

it depends tbh on whether my needs are being met or not. If they are then I can cope with a lot of being supportive. But longer term if I'm not getting my emotional needs met I'm going to burn out. I'd avoid that scenario sooner rather than later.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Nah that would just make it worse for them, no way I could just abandon her unless she did something really fucked up

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

I'm gonna work things out for her. I do know depression is really something in your head. Deny it and you'll never be happy.

Gosceewual · Answer

stay becaus i dunno even what depression means or how it changes some1

twis7 · Answer

I only exit a relationship when it's one sided. are you able to make me feel wanted? desired? loved? it doesn't matter if depression keeps you from appeasing me. I'll try to help you with whatever the root cause is. if helping you is like picking you up, but you won't let go of the ground, yeah... you're only thinking of yourself.

The_Maphio · Answer

If I felt like they were pulling me down with them, I probably would.
I might have feeling for the person, but if their depression weren't subsiding with my best effort, I wouldn't ruin my whole existence for one person.

jack187625 · Answer

That would depend entirely on how it affected me. If my partner's depression made me depressed, then for both of us, I think we would have to split. If it didn't, then I'd be there for them.

Newhead · Answer

Yes, because some people are emotionally manipulative and probably are trying that shit because they know they're getting dumped.

Waldoe · Answer

If I had a partner, I assume I Love that person, I would "Stand by them" and support them until they got well, I would Not abandon them while they were sick.

Lilmissvirgin · Answer

I would not leave but try to support them and shower my love. I will be there for them

AdithyaR · Answer

I would stay and try and be supportive through their healing process.
However, if she begins to become toxic, refuses to seek help and uses it to dismantle her life, I might be forced to leave as it could ruin my own mental health.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m depressed myself, but if i had a partner who is also depressed, i’d try to do my best for them i swear. But if it already reached the point where it boils my sanity, for example, they do the ‘emotional dumping’ often that it become a habit, safe for me to personally do, dump him

Karz101 · Answer

Hell no that’s the one time you want to standby them protect them and walk the journey will not go against them ❤️

Laciandmaci · Answer

As a victim of sexual assault I am almost always depressed. (On meds and in therapy, but suffering from PTSD badly)

Anonymous · Answer

Depend how bad is she if it's serious depression I would do my best for her but if nothing improve I would take her to doc. If things become so serious I would pull away for a while having depressed partner can effect you badly at some point you must know when to keep yourself away for a while at least

Anonymous · Answer

No way! That's when they need you MOST, and that would only make their situation worse. But I'm not the best at dealing with those sorts of situations

princeofromance · Answer

No, I would help them work through the depression, and I would hope they would do the same for me.

Browneye57 · Answer

If you have mental illness, get that fixed before you start dating. Seriously.  No mature adult wants to babysit another.

Dinosaursandanime65 · Answer

No, we don’t do that here. It would also make me feel bad for making Sunako. She’s depressed ALL THE TIME, literally since she was born and has a somewhat horrible death

EaterPeter · Answer

Depends. If any thing lasts for ever and would not know how to deal with it any more, what would you do?

007kingifrit · Answer

maybe if they were always that way. not for a short term bad thing. negative people try to drag you down with them

In_Trance · Answer

It depends why they're depressed how long and what they're doing about it

OddBeMe · Answer

As a depressed person we can be a hassle. But also incredibly sensitive.

Anonymous · Answer

when you realize the reality of this world!!!,,,,,  it get's depressing  but GOD wants us to endure  but most people do not believe  they prefer fairy tales

ShedzJo4322 · Answer

Oh no I'd try to make him happy again.

TurkishGirl_ · Answer

Of course I wouldn't leave.

NoManTwo · Answer

No I wouldn't. But if she refuses help I may have to.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, i already have kids. I am not taking care of another.

Wise4myage · Answer

Not before I exhausted every effort to help her.

msc545 · Answer

No, I would take care of her.

dudeinohio · Answer

I'd stay with them

Texasguy99 · Answer

No. I’d do what I could to help

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

No I'd try to help them any way I can

jimmy2 · Answer

No i would love her more and cuddle with her more

S-J-K · Answer

No, as long as they were willing to work on it

itzzzzniya · Answer

Of course not

Shy_Steve · Answer

I probably would if they got angry aswell.

JamieLoves · Answer

Not if they got help for it.

Shihab91 · Answer

I would support if they are willing to change

InferiorElegy · Answer

Every female ever would but will say they won't.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No, I would not!!

mortal1989 · Answer

Absolutely not

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