i came home to my boyfriend exiting the shower on April 1. we had been together only 1 month at that time. later that evening i discovered these scratch marks. after a month of second guessing and asking for reassurance, his story remains that he did it to himself with jagged fingernails in the shower. he also makes me feel terrible every time i bring it up. just 2 days before this i followed him after dropping him off and caught him meeting with someone (another man!) from grindr at target. yeah as i write this i feel like i sound so stupid for still wondering.. but wow i saved myself for 32 years and like a fool gave myself to him... i might not want to be this traumatized. i really liked him... i guess i still do I don't know. am i delusional at this point for believing his story? or do these definitely look like press on nail scratches left by a third party? he seems to be loyal and committed ever since. but i can't consciously forgive lies like that. i deserve truth! thank you for your input
Excessive scratch marks on boyfriends back evidence of cheating?
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Anonymous
(25-29)
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Wtf. He met a man from Grindr? Why are you asking then. I don't get what you want us to tell you. He likes it rough. He is either the one getting dick or the one reviewing it. But on a side note, yes, could be self harm, who knows. Is that his back? If that's his back it's highly improvable those marks were done by himself. I mean put your hands on your back and you will see that the direction they take is not that one. And to do that direction he either can twist his entire hand and go inside or those are marks made by someone else or another object. Sorry for that.
His story seems to be an obvious lie. You will never be able to trust him completely and that means that a relationship with him will never feel valid or whole = no future with this guy.
Straight up ask him. If he can't defend his answer without hesitation bring him to the doctor's to get it checked out. Doing this extra work will force him to be truthful.
I could tell he was texting someone when he asked me to drop him off at target so I followed him into the store and found him walking around with someone. they left together in this strangers van. he called aaking for a ride home less than 30m after this. 3 days later had scratch marks. although he has not fessed up, he did admit the person he met was from a grinder convo i caught him having
What do you to get those scratches? Not saying you or him are cheating, but they are clearly intentional. Whether its self-harm or fighting a hedgehog army.
@BakedBeanieBabie I use it when I need a better scratch and I'm not around my back scratcher, as depressed as I am, visible self harm is something I won't do because I'd rather be able to hide my depression when I have to go to work, besides I've always been an attempt kind of person instead of saying I was going to do or self harm.
