Am I the asshole for not wanting friends?

[InventorofWarp]

I ended up talking to a girl, to be fair she's way out of my league, for a month and a half. I really fell for her. Probably WAY too quick. I tend to do that. But I really ended up liking her a lot. I'd call her beautiful regularly and stuff and shared a lot of intimate and personal stuff and vice versa. I just started really getting close and she didn't I guess. Fair enough, I'm hardly special and I'm hardly the only person in her life. I'm nothing to her or anyone really. And it came eight months on the heel of someone else anyway.
I had honestly gotten over the preceding girl and gotten okay with the idea that I'll be forever alone. But, then I met her. And I told her if she gave me a no to all the the things I say to her and all the beautiful remarks and stuff I'd respect the boundary and just be friends.

But I kinda realized I can't do that. We talked today and I just realized that it's been eating at me since she told me no. Especially knowing that I'm talking to someone who will never feel the way about me that I do about her. I just can't do it anymore. I'd rather be alone than keep feeling this way.
So I blocked her. On all of the platforms we used.
I can't even really say anything to her, I mean there's nothing left to say. I know I said I could be friends but I can't. I just blocked her. I just want to move forward. I'm tired of falling for women and never having it reciprocated and knowing that no one will ever love me or desire me the way I do someone else.
Hearing that I'm "great boyfriend material" but not enough for anyone to give a chance to even once. And I'm 24. I'm not the kid I was and no one will ever really see me. I don't really believe anyone can love me anyway. I feel bad about it. She doesn't owe me, but I don't owe her either. She's gonna wake up in the morning when she leaves the hospital (she was in for vertigo and such) and go to text me and I won't be there anymore. But I just can't do it.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Not wanting to be friends with someone who you have feelings for who doesn't share those feelings doesn't make you an asshole.. To stay friends would just be hurtful for you if you can't feel just friendly to her... But, don't you think you should at least explain that to her? Would you rather an explanation or for someone to just ghost and block you?

[InventorofWarp]

Tbh yours is the opinion I most wanted so sorry I bugged you.
And: Maybe? I don't know, I've had girls ghost me before and it didn't end my world.
Besides. I don't even think I'm very much of a blip on this girl's emotional radar. So I really don't think it'll cause all that huge of an impact anyway. More like an ice shelf collapsing into the Atlantic sorta thing.
The bad news on this one is I'm in a wicked relapse again. But at least I have new material for songs, yay!
This girl's a ridiculously out of my league heiress so it's pretty stupid I even thought of it as an idea but god damnit if talking to her for a month and a half didn't make me really like her and catch feelings. Not what I'd expect from someone like her. Also in some ways exactly what I'd expect.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Sorry you went through that.. And not bugging me, so no worries..

[crazyish]

No. But since you have already said that you could be friends even if she said no, I do believe that you owe her an explanation at least. Just send her a message explaining you thought you could handle being just friends but you can't. And then block her if that's what you feel you need to do to move on from her. It can be hard to be someone's friend when you have feelings for them especially after you tell them and they reject you. It's completely understandable and most definitely doesn't make you an asshole.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

You have one but there's more to you than that, right? So the answer's no.

She was never into you. Hence, your so called love wasn't reciprocated.

Why be friends anyway? You're not going to get anything out of it so stop wasting time and move on.

You've said your piece on this post and that should be the last of it. End of.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Thank you for MHO :-)

[Waldoe]

it is hard,, but at last, you have accepted the truth, you cannot stay in any kind of relationship with her, that isn't 100%, It's going to be hard, but it will get better... give it 6 months... stay strong

[loves2learn]

Not an asshole at all. It is very hard to be friends with a girl you are attracted to and would like to have a relationship with. I’d drop her and move on.