If you're not ready to be hurt then you're not ready for a relationship, agree or disagree?

Question

Share your thoughts and opinions with me, I'm curious to hear!

yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo · Accepted Answer

I disagree because this is the purpose of dating. You date and talk to somebody before you move in with each other or begin sexual intercourse with your partner to make sure that you are compatible with this person.

Now you cannot let yourself get hurt by if people don't like you, are unattracted to you, or if they decide they don't want to continue dating before you move a step further.

Yes, it is a shame that the time was wasted, but at least you didn't waste anymore time, and you didn't build that deeper bond that hurts the most to lose.

All in all, when dating just take it slow, be professional about it, and be patient. When you find the right one and you are both ready, then you can establish your relationship, and move to the next step as a couple.

ALWAYS REMEMBER!!

Make sure you know what you want first in a relationship, whether it's a wife or a husband. You can't go dating without knowing what you want. Otherwise you'll be stuck broken hearted in a bunch of toxic relationships.

Same thing with being a couple. Set goals as a couple. When will you be know you are ready to move in together? To get married? To have kids? How will you know if the relationship is no longer healthy?

And always remember WHY you are in a relationship. WHY you love your partner.

Becareful of women that only want you because you are beneficial to them, because once you run out of what they want from you, even if for a second it cannot be provided to them, no matter how much you love them, they may find it elsewhere. So be mindful of your partners expectations of you in the relationship and what they mean.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

I agree to a point - getting hurt is always going to be a risk, and the only people who can really hurt you (emotionally) are the people you trust. And there's no 100% guarantee that you can ensure that you won't be hurt. BUT, you absolutely CAN take steps that will minimize that risk significantly, and you should. It's not enough to pick someone because you're both attracted to each other - that's important, but absolutely NOT the ONLY think that's important. You must also find out if you have long-term relationship compatibility, and that takes spending time together observing each other's behavior, but it also takes LOTS of conversations where you talk about long-term relationship issues.

How do you each feel about marriage? Religion? Children? Lifestyle? Finances? Career paths? Sex? Pets? Etc. Think about all the things that you've seen or heard that came between other people, and talk about those things, and make sure you can live - long-term - with each other's answers. Don't assume that someone is going to change - most people don't change, so make sure they are ALREADY how you need them to be, at least with the major issues. No relationship is perfect and no match is perfect - you will have things you disagree on - but make sure they're not MAJOR things, because that's what will lead to the most significant pain.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

I think if you can not handle the possibility of things not working out- which is likely- then it will be challenging for you but that goes for anything we do in life. Life is experience and I I think life experience and it’s the only way we learn... in my opinion better to go through it than to avoid it. You aren’t really ever ready to be dashed, but you get better at coping with it when it happens and it doesn’t happen by simply thinking about how to deal. Recovery like anything else requires learning memory & resilience. I don’t think that is possible without living through unappealing events when they come our way.

Alyssa11 · Accepted Answer

I voted I’m unsure. But I also think that nobody is ever ready to get hurt. It’s not about being ready, it’s about trusting yourself to make the right decisions. If you see something isn’t right, you make the decision to walk away. Whether you end up hurt or not is inevitable.

AmandaYVR · Answer

I think too many people think that they can avoid being hurt. That absolutely is not true.

Anticipating hurt is what prevents people from taking any risks, investing in others, and that is a detriment to one's life. (It can be said of all relationships, not just romantic.)

coachTanthony · Answer

--------------I agree to a point and here is why. It's not that we always have to trust that someone will never hurt us in order to get serious with someone. It's knowing that we can handle it if they do.

"To heal a wound you need to stop touching it."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

TheorionMage · Answer

Relationships are, by definition a form of 'investment' gambling.

There are 'Posers' who 'bluff'...
Novices who bet it all with their naive hearts on their sleeve.
The Timid who 'wager' no more than they believe they can sustain to lose.
Those 'social' whom are unwilling to wager ENOUGH Self to EARN a long-term gain.
Those who 'fold' when they fear losing their carefully constructed self-image & composure.

The late 20th century philosopher/science fiction author Robert Heinlein published:
"There is NO such thing as 'friendly' gambling:
You're either there to cut your Opponent's heart out and EAT it OR you're a Fool..."
It is said: "Faint heart n'ere won fair lady"

SO... are YOU "in it to WIN it" are are you just 'dabbling'?
It ALL boils down to YOUR perception of "Risk vs. Reward"
The 'coin of THIS Realm' are the precious moments of YOUR Life;
an investment you can NEVER reclaim. YOUR youth, beauty and resources!

It has been written: "I have loved often, but NOT wisely & well! "
ONLY YOU can decide if the 'price' of admission to this eternal 'game'
had been WORTH its 'cost'~

Did you make... and reap GOOD memories?

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I think those that have been through the reality off the pain of a break up, understand the risks a bit more.

a lot are realists on just how these things pan out, you go in to it with a degree of trepidation and uncertainty on what will happen.

it can be hard to relax and open up your centre, as you know how the pain is.

but everyone should face the pain and not be scared of it, if it happens it happens.

It’s about reading the signs, learning from experience.

I voted unsure as I always go in to a relationship eyes open.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I agree. If you aren't ready to be hurt, that means you'll do things you shouldn't in a desperate attempt to avoid getting hurt, like keeping yourself closed off emotionally, or staying in a relationshio that isn't good for you because you don't want to endure the pain of leaving.

You have to be vulnerable to have a good relationship, and being vulnerable means risking being hurt. If you aren't ready for that, you won't have satisfying, healthy relationships

pjf1958 · Answer

You're bio says you're 23. I'll be 63 on July 8, I've got 40 years more experience at judging character. I'm not bragging, I'm just stating facts. The more experienced you get, the more strict your criteria will be when you find a partner. Good luck young lady.

JackSmy · Answer

I think if you assume, and "are not ready" to be "hurt" you are SELF-SABOTAGING ANY RELATIONSHIP!! You have already decided it has failed, by being ready, for it to fail!
I would want to know your name, so I don't accidentally meet you, knowing that you have already decided, before the relationship starts, that is is over, and going to cause hurt!

ToastyOats · Answer

If someone is going to wreck a car they shouldn't be driving. Whether they are impaired, retarded or careless. If you are dating people you are not compatible with are going to cause harm. People need to actively study themselves and other before they start initiating pairbonds. Or, if your someone that is only into casual sex than you need to be upfront about that! Stop trying to pretend your intentions, man or woman, just so you can have the much more satisfying sex that emotionally bonded people have.

lightbulb27 · Answer

True for all too many. some people have very good relationships where not so much pain... I assume.  in general, relationships of any kind equals conflict... without good balance, skills... pain.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

It's very hard to disagree with a proven fact of life. There are some relationships out there that have never experienced any kind of hurt. However, givien the maturity of the modern day man and woman, hurt is bound to take place because of, not only the insecurities, but their own lack of action or communication, expectations, lack of discipline on their lust, and criss cross compatibility.

Dazed0N0Confused · Answer

While you go out into the dating pool to find love, you have to also open yourself up to heartache as things might not work out or you can't find the right person at the moment.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree for the dating aspect but not like relationship aspect, like ya know rejection when it comes to dating because no matter who you are except a celebrity mostly you’re gonna get someone who says no. To some people out there, the “nice” guys and gals, instead of not taking no for an answer or whining like a child it’s important to learn how to accept rejection and move on.

Anonymous · Answer

No one is ever "ready to be hurt". That's like saying, "If you're not ready to get in a car accident, you're not ready to drive." Some risk comes with the territory. Nothing in life is risk-free. Most people go into relationships hoping not to get hurt, hoping that this person will be the right person, just like most people get into cars hoping not to get in an accident. It's the hope that makes people still seek out relationships, even after being hurt over and over again.

ohshee · Answer

I mean this is just straight to the point and I do understand it because in a relationship it's 50/50 and you don't know what's ever going to happen you can't make somebody love you and why would you want to even try that's wrong so you are right in so many different ways it's just kind of to the point very bold but it's the truth I hate looking at it like that but it is the truth

TruthBringer · Answer

Yes and no. Always be prepared for the possibility of getting hurt, but do not prepare knowing you'll get hurt. Not everything are butterflies and flowers, at the same time one should be very careful with whom they get into a relationship with.

fred_durst · Answer

kinda agree , but
well you can minimize the chance of getting hurt by being not hasty entering relationships , take your time until you completely know about that person , NEVER BELIEVE ON FIRST IMPRESSION , because many people today are really good on being fake , they deserve oscar

Anonymous · Answer

I would say it’s wrong to think of you getting hurt only in relationships. We all get hurt in one way or another emotionally and not just in relationships. When applying for a job you get rejected and ignored, by people as well including family members and friends and even when asking someone out for a date or trying to make friends and losing someone or something you care about can hurt. There’s so many people who are hurt everyday or anytime. So how can you say if you don’t want to be hurt that you are not ready for a relationship someone has to accept as well instead you accepting yourself

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I disagree. If you set out to get hurt in a relationship. You most likely will. I find the key is to pick the right person to date.

hellacray · Answer

Lol I think that's a stupid way to think about it. Like you're expecting to get hurt when you get into a relationship.

This is the type of mentality that makes people stay in abusive relationships. Cause it's supposed to be part of the package. Or maybe you think that person will change.

SandandWaves · Answer

I disagree. Sometimes we get hurt, relationships take work

key_statistics · Answer

"Not ready for a relationship" not true
As a good relationship with the right person with not hurt.

Not ready to look for the right one, yes. Looking for the right one you will get hurt and sometimes it will really hurt. But when you find the right one it will all be worth it.

newfreshstart · Answer

True I'm ready for both i have never had a relationship

jasco · Answer

Life is full of ups and downs. There are no areas where it's just rainbows and Unicorns. Relationships are no different. You have to talk to each other and work things out when everything is going bad

AvacodosRAwesome · Answer

Part of being in love and intimate is opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. Most people don't enter into a romantic relationship with the intention of hurting your partner..

LemiaOfTheCodes · Answer

Love hurts weather its good or bad. It doesn't matter if your a lover or a fighter.

clampfan101 · Answer

Pain is part of life. You need to know how to handle it yourself before a relationship.

anonyni · Answer

Hope for the best, expect nothing. Put in the work, but if you go in thinking "this won't work out", you're going to subconsciously make it not work out. What's better is to go in with no expectations. However, we're humans. We're not good at that. Feel what you need to feel, feel what your brain is telling you, and decide how to move forwards based on that.

kannettava · Answer

I don't think anything good in life happens without being willing to take a risk that it might go wrong.

EaterPeter · Answer

It should not be like that. Rejection is part of selection process.

Overmind · Answer

So the leading poll indicates people go into a relationship expecting to get hurt, how's that bode? They have a term for that, it's called being a masochist..

Sexythingihope · Answer

I agree because all guys will hurt you they have no respect for themselves so they have no respect for you either. Like when the guys look at others or when they really don't show you they love you or when they say I am done but they come back because they using you so really guys just really just want to get them what they need that all

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No matter what chances we take, I believe unless we give a relationship a chance we won't even know if we're going to be hurt, so this got me puzzled, I guess I need to
stop putting walls up and give a girl/woman a chance at a relationship

Leavesbound · Answer

All love results in pain but the alternative is worse.

neeeeeeeko · Answer

Love comes even when you're not ready for it. So does pain.

HairyPoppins · Answer

More like if you aren't willing to be hurt then yes you probably aren't ready.

Shihab91 · Answer

you must be brave and get over it... says a guy who didn't.. lol

OddBeMe · Answer

Sure. Kinda like the Vegas axiom: can’t afford to lose, don’t play the game.

daryan12s · Answer

I don't think a healthy and good relationship should hurt. The point is that in all respects there can be conflicts between partners, but they can be resolved in a calm and peaceful way

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

no one is ready to be hurt unless they are masochistic or pessimistic, and those types aren't marriage material.

bones0271 · Answer

Why are women 🚺 so distrustful and cynical. Soon relationships will die and so will sex and so will humanity.

LemiaOfChampions · Answer

Love can't be painful but if you can wait it out it can be bliss.

Anonymous · Answer

There's no "ready" to hurt because nobody expects or wants to be hurt and is never 'ready". I would change that to say if you are hurting though, you are definitely not ready for a new one.

DCooper · Answer

That's why you keep it in the fun zone, and don't let it morph into a relationshit.

Question_091 · Answer

Strongly agree. Same as saying you're afraid to get a job because you're afraid of being fired.

AdithyaR · Answer

That's exactly why I don't even try, I don't wanna get hurt.

Fighter_Pilot · Answer

I'm not too sure but, all I can say is, take power and dare to fall. I hope that answers your question.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree cause by searching out relationships you're searching out for more stress

FlowerSeeds · Answer

I guess I'm not ready then

Kas19 · Answer

I don't think anyone is ever ready for hurt.

Anonymous · Answer

Going into a relationship expecting to be hurt just gives of bad vibes

NibirX · Answer

Perfect relationship is like a wrestling. Its not like only romance or happiness.

JesseJayNeak · Answer

I don't know about that

exitseven · Answer

No guts, no glory.

Still-alive · Answer

No pain no gain as they say.

dray995 · Answer

Relationships shouldn’t have to hurt.

jimmy2 · Answer

So very true but you need to learn how to forgive

TurkishGirl_ · Answer

I agree.

anylolone · Answer

Sorta?

needhelpwiththis0 · Answer

Kindof

msc545 · Answer

Agreed

If you're not ready to be hurt then you're not ready for a relationship, agree or disagree?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Will a guy who says that he’s not ready for a relationship keep you on the line until he’s ready?

If you're not ready to be hurt then you're not ready for a relationship, agree or disagree?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Will a guy who says that he’s not ready for a relationship keep you on the line until he’s ready?

We're glad to see you liked this post.