If you're not ready to be hurt then you're not ready for a relationship, agree or disagree?

[mrfoox]

Share your thoughts and opinions with me, I'm curious to hear!

I agree...

I disagree...

I'm unsure...

[yoyoyoyoyoyoyoyoyo]

I disagree because this is the purpose of dating. You date and talk to somebody before you move in with each other or begin sexual intercourse with your partner to make sure that you are compatible with this person.



Now you cannot let yourself get hurt by if people don't like you, are unattracted to you, or if they decide they don't want to continue dating before you move a step further.

Yes, it is a shame that the time was wasted, but at least you didn't waste anymore time, and you didn't build that deeper bond that hurts the most to lose.



All in all, when dating just take it slow, be professional about it, and be patient. When you find the right one and you are both ready, then you can establish your relationship, and move to the next step as a couple.


ALWAYS REMEMBER!!

Make sure you know what you want first in a relationship, whether it's a wife or a husband. You can't go dating without knowing what you want. Otherwise you'll be stuck broken hearted in a bunch of toxic relationships.

Same thing with being a couple. Set goals as a couple. When will you be know you are ready to move in together? To get married? To have kids? How will you know if the relationship is no longer healthy?

And always remember WHY you are in a relationship. WHY you love your partner.


Becareful of women that only want you because you are beneficial to them, because once you run out of what they want from you, even if for a second it cannot be provided to them, no matter how much you love them, they may find it elsewhere. So be mindful of your partners expectations of you in the relationship and what they mean.

[MrOracle]

I agree to a point - getting hurt is always going to be a risk, and the only people who can really hurt you (emotionally) are the people you trust. And there's no 100% guarantee that you can ensure that you won't be hurt. BUT, you absolutely CAN take steps that will minimize that risk significantly, and you should. It's not enough to pick someone because you're both attracted to each other - that's important, but absolutely NOT the ONLY think that's important. You must also find out if you have long-term relationship compatibility, and that takes spending time together observing each other's behavior, but it also takes LOTS of conversations where you talk about long-term relationship issues.

How do you each feel about marriage? Religion? Children? Lifestyle? Finances? Career paths? Sex? Pets? Etc. Think about all the things that you've seen or heard that came between other people, and talk about those things, and make sure you can live - long-term - with each other's answers. Don't assume that someone is going to change - most people don't change, so make sure they are ALREADY how you need them to be, at least with the major issues. No relationship is perfect and no match is perfect - you will have things you disagree on - but make sure they're not MAJOR things, because that's what will lead to the most significant pain.

[VIVANT]

I think if you can not handle the possibility of things not working out- which is likely- then it will be challenging for you but that goes for anything we do in life. Life is experience and I I think life experience and it’s the only way we learn... in my opinion better to go through it than to avoid it. You aren’t really ever ready to be dashed, but you get better at coping with it when it happens and it doesn’t happen by simply thinking about how to deal. Recovery like anything else requires learning memory & resilience. I don’t think that is possible without living through unappealing events when they come our way.

[mrfoox]

Well said, I agree! Bad experiences really teach us a lot in the long run and failure is part of life, it's how we deal with them that is important

[Crazybeeguy]

I am curious why did you put "things not working out- which is likely?"

[VIVANT]

@Crazybeeguy

Oh I just meant statistically, more times than not, when you go on a date it doesn’t end up in a relationship not as in I do not believe relationships can work. 😊😊

[VIVANT]

@mrfoox

Thanks!

[Crazybeeguy]

I didn't know if a negative mentality view would cause it to become real.

[Alyssa11]

I voted I’m unsure. But I also think that nobody is ever ready to get hurt. It’s not about being ready, it’s about trusting yourself to make the right decisions. If you see something isn’t right, you make the decision to walk away. Whether you end up hurt or not is inevitable.

[mrfoox]

I think that's a good way of seeing it!
No one really wants to be hurt, but I think some people avoid hard topics and situations because they are afraid of how the other will react (what if they leave or get upset with me?)
Really liked your way of phrasing this, I think you're correct. One must believe in yourself and your self worth, have self respect

[Alyssa11]

Thank you!! I totally understand what you mean.

[AmandaYVR]

I think too many people think that they can avoid being hurt. That absolutely is not true.

Anticipating hurt is what prevents people from taking any risks, investing in others, and that is a detriment to one's life. (It can be said of all relationships, not just romantic.)

[coachTanthony]

--------------I agree to a point and here is why. It's not that we always have to trust that someone will never hurt us in order to get serious with someone. It's knowing that we can handle it if they do.

"To heal a wound you need to stop touching it."
~Coach T Anthony @thedatecoach IG

[TheorionMage]

Relationships are, by definition a form of 'investment' gambling.

There are 'Posers' who 'bluff'...
Novices who bet it all with their naive hearts on their sleeve.
The Timid who 'wager' no more than they believe they can sustain to lose.
Those 'social' whom are unwilling to wager ENOUGH Self to EARN a long-term gain.
Those who 'fold' when they fear losing their carefully constructed self-image & composure.

The late 20th century philosopher/science fiction author Robert Heinlein published:
"There is NO such thing as 'friendly' gambling:
You're either there to cut your Opponent's heart out and EAT it OR you're a Fool..."
It is said: "Faint heart n'ere won fair lady"

SO... are YOU "in it to WIN it" are are you just 'dabbling'?
It ALL boils down to YOUR perception of "Risk vs. Reward"
The 'coin of THIS Realm' are the precious moments of YOUR Life;
an investment you can NEVER reclaim. YOUR youth, beauty and resources!

It has been written: "I have loved often, but NOT wisely & well! "
ONLY YOU can decide if the 'price' of admission to this eternal 'game'
had been WORTH its 'cost'~

Did you make... and reap GOOD memories?

[ChrisMaster69]

I think those that have been through the reality off the pain of a break up, understand the risks a bit more.

a lot are realists on just how these things pan out, you go in to it with a degree of trepidation and uncertainty on what will happen.

it can be hard to relax and open up your centre, as you know how the pain is.

but everyone should face the pain and not be scared of it, if it happens it happens.

It’s about reading the signs, learning from experience.

I voted unsure as I always go in to a relationship eyes open.

[Inexpensivefurniture]

I agree. If you aren't ready to be hurt, that means you'll do things you shouldn't in a desperate attempt to avoid getting hurt, like keeping yourself closed off emotionally, or staying in a relationshio that isn't good for you because you don't want to endure the pain of leaving.

You have to be vulnerable to have a good relationship, and being vulnerable means risking being hurt. If you aren't ready for that, you won't have satisfying, healthy relationships

[JackSmy]

I think if you assume, and "are not ready" to be "hurt" you are SELF-SABOTAGING ANY RELATIONSHIP!! You have already decided it has failed, by being ready, for it to fail!
I would want to know your name, so I don't accidentally meet you, knowing that you have already decided, before the relationship starts, that is is over, and going to cause hurt!

[pjf1958]

You're bio says you're 23. I'll be 63 on July 8, I've got 40 years more experience at judging character. I'm not bragging, I'm just stating facts. The more experienced you get, the more strict your criteria will be when you find a partner. Good luck young lady.

[mrfoox]

Don't know what your point is but sure

[pjf1958]

My point is, you don't have to compromise integrity. That's the key

[mrfoox]

So... Be yourself and don't settle? 😂

[pjf1958]

At your age your hormones are still making it difficult to control your emotions. Because of this making arbitrary decisions based on emotions is a common problem. That's how getting a boyfriend can mistakenly be based on sex initially. Not good.

[mrfoox]

My sexual urges have always been bellow avarge, it's not something I really care about. I definitely don't pick out potential partners for their looks or body type. I keep a similar criteria as with friends, we need to first get along and have similar views on the world

[pjf1958]

Good for you. You seem like a very intelligent young lady. Promising future.

[mrfoox]

Thank you sir, I strive to grow as an individual

[pjf1958]

Im honored to have that kind of respect bestowed on me. Thank you young lady

[ToastyOats]

If someone is going to wreck a car they shouldn't be driving. Whether they are impaired, retarded or careless. If you are dating people you are not compatible with are going to cause harm. People need to actively study themselves and other before they start initiating pairbonds. Or, if your someone that is only into casual sex than you need to be upfront about that! Stop trying to pretend your intentions, man or woman, just so you can have the much more satisfying sex that emotionally bonded people have.

[CallmeTheKnight]

It's very hard to disagree with a proven fact of life. There are some relationships out there that have never experienced any kind of hurt. However, givien the maturity of the modern day man and woman, hurt is bound to take place because of, not only the insecurities, but their own lack of action or communication, expectations, lack of discipline on their lust, and criss cross compatibility.

[Anonymous]

I agree for the dating aspect but not like relationship aspect, like ya know rejection when it comes to dating because no matter who you are except a celebrity mostly you’re gonna get someone who says no. To some people out there, the “nice” guys and gals, instead of not taking no for an answer or whining like a child it’s important to learn how to accept rejection and move on.

[Anonymous]

No one is ever "ready to be hurt". That's like saying, "If you're not ready to get in a car accident, you're not ready to drive." Some risk comes with the territory. Nothing in life is risk-free. Most people go into relationships hoping not to get hurt, hoping that this person will be the right person, just like most people get into cars hoping not to get in an accident. It's the hope that makes people still seek out relationships, even after being hurt over and over again.

[TruthBringer]

Yes and no. Always be prepared for the possibility of getting hurt, but do not prepare knowing you'll get hurt. Not everything are butterflies and flowers, at the same time one should be very careful with whom they get into a relationship with.

[lightbulb27]

True for all too many. some people have very good relationships where not so much pain... I assume.

in general, relationships of any kind equals conflict... without good balance, skills... pain.

[fred_durst]

kinda agree , but
well you can minimize the chance of getting hurt by being not hasty entering relationships , take your time until you completely know about that person , NEVER BELIEVE ON FIRST IMPRESSION , because many people today are really good on being fake , they deserve oscar

[Dazed0N0Confused]

While you go out into the dating pool to find love, you have to also open yourself up to heartache as things might not work out or you can't find the right person at the moment.

[ohshee]

I mean this is just straight to the point and I do understand it because in a relationship it's 50/50 and you don't know what's ever going to happen you can't make somebody love you and why would you want to even try that's wrong so you are right in so many different ways it's just kind of to the point very bold but it's the truth I hate looking at it like that but it is the truth

[Anonymous]

I would say it’s wrong to think of you getting hurt only in relationships. We all get hurt in one way or another emotionally and not just in relationships. When applying for a job you get rejected and ignored, by people as well including family members and friends and even when asking someone out for a date or trying to make friends and losing someone or something you care about can hurt. There’s so many people who are hurt everyday or anytime. So how can you say if you don’t want to be hurt that you are not ready for a relationship someone has to accept as well instead you accepting yourself

[TommyMountainFigure]

I disagree. If you set out to get hurt in a relationship. You most likely will. I find the key is to pick the right person to date.

[hellacray]

Lol I think that's a stupid way to think about it. Like you're expecting to get hurt when you get into a relationship.

This is the type of mentality that makes people stay in abusive relationships. Cause it's supposed to be part of the package. Or maybe you think that person will change.

[SandandWaves]

I disagree. Sometimes we get hurt, relationships take work