I personally absolutely detest it; I feel that it's a manipulative tactic. If I've done something wrong unknowingly or there is any point you want to discuss, then clearly communicate that with me. When I was younger, I used to fall for it, but now as I've grown older and wiser, I don't entertain it.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Most men don't even notice.
Look, men don't need to talk the way women do. It's a measured scientific fact. Women say something like 20,000 words a day and men are more like 7,000. (Though a recent study no doubt influenced by bullshit ideology that claim both sexes are IDENTICAL say that men and women use 16,000 words a day. Utter shit.)
Men are perfectly fine in silence. Women lose their fucking minds.
When a woman gives a man the silence treatment, he might notice eventually but for the early part he just notices that he feels happier. No one is talking his ear off or interrupting him every 5 minutes with some inane bullshit.
This is the funniest thing I've read in a while and I completely agree with having experienced the frustration of wanting silence and the woman is just chewing your ear off.
I don't believe it's a particularly healthy or mature means of expressing to your partner that you're displeased with something. Silence may be necessary to some extent when you've attempted to talk through something with that person and they've flagrantly tossed your concerns aside or have even gone as far as hurling every bit of vitriol they can conceive your way in protest of a point you've attempted to make. Under such circumstances, a bit of distance may be necessary, but only for a time. Freezing someone out for any perceived injustice is just childish and manipulative. If anyone attempted such a thing with me, they would instantly become a total nonentity in my life. I don't tolerate nonsense from anyone.
Silent treetment is'nt something that i like. One girl was doing it to me and it felt awfull like really awfull. Like everyone i hava some porblems. And treeting like this makes me feel like cuted off. And i feel bad with myself becouse i always think everything is my fault
That is exactly what I was looking for, FELLINGS, i want to know how you guys actually feel when this happens, please allow me to use your comment for my article. Thank you
My husband does the silent treatment, he's also passive aggressive. It used to annoy me because most of the time I had no idea what he was upset about. Over the (many) years, I learned that he was usually upset about something he thought I said or thought I meant. These days, I welcome the peace and quiet when he gets in one of his moods.
That’s a deal breaker for me. The moment you try that crap with me I let you know I don’t play games. I do my best to keep a relationship drama free. Do my best to stay on the same level of communication. So, when it comes down to the silent treatment, it’s normally over something petty. There’s the door, baby.
My mom tried to use it on me. It used to work. Now when she does it I just ignore her right back. With that said I do acknowledge her in our normal ways. Like she will still call me for dinner and when she gives me my clean laundry I still say thanks but we have gone weeks without talking properly. We never establish what went wrong and never get an apology we just start talking again. It is what it is 🤷
I have reacted in many different ways to the silent treatment.
I moved out of our apartment while one of my exes was at work I broke up with another and ghosted her A few more gfs gave me the silent treatment and it was a welcome relief to their normally incessant blathering. I ended up provoking them at key times to get the to shut up and leave me alone. A couple of gfs made me upset with the silent treatment at first but over time I fell out of love with them and it no longer mattered.
I think you have a deeper issue here my friend :) I'd rather do some self reflection. Yes silent treatment is wrong, but you also ask for it just to have some quiet time? This is not healthy this is even more toxic.
What works for me might not be right for you. The purpose of my sharing was to give you insight into how the silent treatment can affect a relationship. It has had many different results just with me alone.
I'm a talker and a good listener. That makes the silent treatment especially painful. As a tactic, does it work? "Yes", if your end goal is to simply agitate your partner lol.
See some actually think it works, but what is the point in agitating your partner? It's not cute to not be able to resolve things quicker. I'D PREFER ARGUE FOR 2 hours rather than give him the silent treatment. After all, makeup sex is the best sex lol
Had it done to me a couple times and gotta say I don't like it. But if you know how to push her buttons you can usually get her to talk back pretty quick.
I get people need time to calm down, but Silent Treatment for weeks is beyond disrespectful. You don't do that to people your in a relationship with and expect them to stick around. That type of behavior is childish and tells me your not ready for a relationship.
Honestly I personally understand why some people do the silent treatment. I just try to quickly say, "I understand you don't wanna talk to me or see me so I'll give you some space and if you change your mind I'll be over there."
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
What good does that do? It's immature in my opinion. Communication is key! I understand if maybe at the time you're too upset to talk about it calmly or rationally, but if that's the case, just say that. "I'm sorry I can't talk about it right now, I'm too upset, let's talk later"
Silent treatment…a route certain women take who prefer to be treated like an insolent child. The kind of woman I have zero interest in involving myself with. It’s a dumpable behavior.
It might be a little harsh according to me, I think a problem like this can be resolved with delicacy without giving ultimatums, because giving ultimatums is just as toxic as using the silent treatment tactic.
Yeah, it has an impact, and I don't play games. I leave. Why should I put up with that shit? Have a problem, let's talk it out. Play baby games, and not the one for me, so Bye, Bye! The two times they came back, crying, after a few days. I talked it out with one, but the other, GONE!
It's one of the worst things to do after a disagreement, I think some classify it as emotional abuse. I don't think it's that far but it's not a very charitable way to treat someone after a disagreement.
I actually agree with you, confusing a partner is somehow an emotional abuse, because you do break your partners heart doing this. Thank you so much, allow me to use your comment for the MyTake i'm working on. Thank you so much
It's awful. It doesn't resolve the underlying problem and needlessly forces the other person to do extra work to figure out an issue that they don't have because their partner refuses to just fucking tell them.
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I personally absolutely detest it; I feel that it's a manipulative tactic. If I've done something wrong unknowingly or there is any point you want to discuss, then clearly communicate that with me. When I was younger, I used to fall for it, but now as I've grown older and wiser, I don't entertain it.
Most men don't even notice.
Look, men don't need to talk the way women do. It's a measured scientific fact. Women say something like 20,000 words a day and men are more like 7,000. (Though a recent study no doubt influenced by bullshit ideology that claim both sexes are IDENTICAL say that men and women use 16,000 words a day. Utter shit.)
Men are perfectly fine in silence. Women lose their fucking minds.
When a woman gives a man the silence treatment, he might notice eventually but for the early part he just notices that he feels happier. No one is talking his ear off or interrupting him every 5 minutes with some inane bullshit.
This is the funniest thing I've read in a while and I completely agree with having experienced the frustration of wanting silence and the woman is just chewing your ear off.
I don't believe it's a particularly healthy or mature means of expressing to your partner that you're displeased with something. Silence may be necessary to some extent when you've attempted to talk through something with that person and they've flagrantly tossed your concerns aside or have even gone as far as hurling every bit of vitriol they can conceive your way in protest of a point you've attempted to make. Under such circumstances, a bit of distance may be necessary, but only for a time. Freezing someone out for any perceived injustice is just childish and manipulative. If anyone attempted such a thing with me, they would instantly become a total nonentity in my life. I don't tolerate nonsense from anyone.
Silent treetment is'nt something that i like. One girl was doing it to me and it felt awfull like really awfull. Like everyone i hava some porblems. And treeting like this makes me feel like cuted off. And i feel bad with myself becouse i always think everything is my fault
That is exactly what I was looking for, FELLINGS, i want to know how you guys actually feel when this happens, please allow me to use your comment for my article. Thank you
Oh sorry for not responding, of course you can use my comment for your article. I be glad if you link it somewhere.
My husband does the silent treatment, he's also passive aggressive. It used to annoy me because most of the time I had no idea what he was upset about. Over the (many) years, I learned that he was usually upset about something he thought I said or thought I meant. These days, I welcome the peace and quiet when he gets in one of his moods.
That’s a deal breaker for me. The moment you try that crap with me I let you know I don’t play games. I do my best to keep a relationship drama free. Do my best to stay on the same level of communication. So, when it comes down to the silent treatment, it’s normally over something petty. There’s the door, baby.
My mom tried to use it on me. It used to work. Now when she does it I just ignore her right back. With that said I do acknowledge her in our normal ways. Like she will still call me for dinner and when she gives me my clean laundry I still say thanks but we have gone weeks without talking properly. We never establish what went wrong and never get an apology we just start talking again. It is what it is 🤷
I'm sorry to hear this, maybe it's time to talk it out properly and see what is going on.
@natured I wish we could but I'm nuerodivergent and she's narcissistic. We get along and we're good friends, this is just how we do things
I have reacted in many different ways to the silent treatment.
I moved out of our apartment while one of my exes was at work
I broke up with another and ghosted her
A few more gfs gave me the silent treatment and it was a welcome relief to their normally incessant blathering. I ended up provoking them at key times to get the to shut up and leave me alone.
A couple of gfs made me upset with the silent treatment at first but over time I fell out of love with them and it no longer mattered.
I think you have a deeper issue here my friend :) I'd rather do some self reflection. Yes silent treatment is wrong, but you also ask for it just to have some quiet time? This is not healthy this is even more toxic.
What works for me might not be right for you. The purpose of my sharing was to give you insight into how the silent treatment can affect a relationship. It has had many different results just with me alone.
I'm a talker and a good listener. That makes the silent treatment especially painful. As a tactic, does it work? "Yes", if your end goal is to simply agitate your partner lol.
See some actually think it works, but what is the point in agitating your partner? It's not cute to not be able to resolve things quicker. I'D PREFER ARGUE FOR 2 hours rather than give him the silent treatment. After all, makeup sex is the best sex lol
Oh yes it is 😉
Had it done to me a couple times and gotta say I don't like it. But if you know how to push her buttons you can usually get her to talk back pretty quick.
Exactly, it takes two to resolve things in a relationship. Thank you please allow me to share this comment on my MyTake
Ok sure
I get people need time to calm down, but Silent Treatment for weeks is beyond disrespectful. You don't do that to people your in a relationship with and expect them to stick around. That type of behavior is childish and tells me your not ready for a relationship.
Honestly I personally understand why some people do the silent treatment. I just try to quickly say, "I understand you don't wanna talk to me or see me so I'll give you some space and if you change your mind I'll be over there."
What good does that do? It's immature in my opinion. Communication is key! I understand if maybe at the time you're too upset to talk about it calmly or rationally, but if that's the case, just say that. "I'm sorry I can't talk about it right now, I'm too upset, let's talk later"
The silent treatment can kill a relationship. So can withholding affection as leverage or making a spouse sleep on the sofa.
THank you for your answer, do you allow me to use your comment for a future MyTake i'm planing to do?
Yes, sure.
Silent treatment…a route certain women take who prefer to be treated like an insolent child. The kind of woman I have zero interest in involving myself with. It’s a dumpable behavior.
I totally agree with you, I hope you don't mind if i can use your comment on MyTake i'm working on on this very issue. THank you so much
I do not mimd.
My reply would be instant:
"You have two options: either you speak to me normally, or I remove myself from this situation. What is your choice?"
It might be a little harsh according to me, I think a problem like this can be resolved with delicacy without giving ultimatums, because giving ultimatums is just as toxic as using the silent treatment tactic.
The kind of person I have in mind to be my partner won't be someone who stays unwilling to talk to me for weeks for little or no reason.
Yeah, it has an impact, and I don't play games. I leave. Why should I put up with that shit? Have a problem, let's talk it out.
Play baby games, and not the one for me, so Bye, Bye!
The two times they came back, crying, after a few days. I talked it out with one, but the other, GONE!
It's one of the worst things to do after a disagreement, I think some classify it as emotional abuse. I don't think it's that far but it's not a very charitable way to treat someone after a disagreement.
I actually agree with you, confusing a partner is somehow an emotional abuse, because you do break your partners heart doing this. Thank you so much, allow me to use your comment for the MyTake i'm working on.
Thank you so much
You’re welcome.
No idea, usually men do this by not texting back lol.
Trust me Women do this as well.
I wouldn’t know because I haven’t dated women lol I only know men who do this.
It's awful. It doesn't resolve the underlying problem and needlessly forces the other person to do extra work to figure out an issue that they don't have because their partner refuses to just fucking tell them.