Is it my job to ask for reassurance after infidelity?

[Anonymous]

Things were going great we communicated well and we never had any doubts about each other until recently I had suspected she wasn’t being honest with me and well, I was right, it took everything I had to pick up the phone.. I did the unspeakable I snooped a very very toxic low thing to do but when you can’t let go of a person without reason what options do you have.. I know everyone’s first assumption is leave. but I didn’t. Even after finding out she wanted someone else to sleep with while I was out of town I don’t want to but I can’t decide.. Because she is someone special to me and I want to make this work. But infidelity lays in my mind still & has literally been making me feel crazy. I feel like I can’t trust her at all. And she makes maybe a little effort to try and turn things around but no major things until I make a situation out of it. She tells me everything is fine now. And we can openly communicate about something but i still feel she’s being well shady about things communication wise but tells me different. ya I’m not finding anything or seeing anything but I do feel the guilt in my gut of making the wrong decision. Im trying to not overstep boundaries and become toxic due to my assured trust issues. But when I ask her things I feel a wall. And I might have been on her ass lately but it’s because I want to know I can trust her. I can’t seem to loosen up this grip in my mind of thinking she’s doing me wrong. But I also feel I can’t just leave her when maybe I should. Should I have to ask for reassurance? Is it wrong to ask who’s messaging her? Is it wrong to wanna know what she’s doing and who’s she’s with when she’s not with me? Am I being manipulated? I don’t know what answers I need. I just support. I have no one to talk to and it only makes this situation even harder, many thanks to whoever made it this far and might have some advice for a hopeless romantic I appreciate you’re time so much more than you could know.

[Anonymous]

Every single thing you said in here is why it will never work. Once that trust has been broken, it's very difficult, if not impossible, to maintain a happy relationship. You will (justifiably) seek constant reassurance and will drive yourself crazy with doubt. She will eventually get fed up with your need for constant reassurance, and she will likely cheat anyway. If I found what you found, I'd have no choice but to cut things off. Not because I'd want to, but because I know that it would just lead to a vicious cycle and would mess with my mind.

[Anonymous]

You will never be the same.
I had my wife of 13 years fuck another dude for 6 months and I tried to make it work... but she lost her glow in my eyes. She was trash and even though I loved her as a person, she was not the person I fell in love with.

[jimmy2]

Ohhh man look if yiu can forgive her and take your time rebuilding the trust wall. Also look up the Narcissistic. If she only thinks of herself she will not stop that

[ForgottenFuRyan]

If you stick around at this point you're cruising for a bruising