Yes. They matter to *most * people. I'd go so far as to say the overwhelming majority. I would also say that *some* (with the emphasis on some) people are virtue signaling when they tout how looks don't matter to them.
For some reason, there have always been people who go out of their way to tell us that it's shallow and ignoble to desire someone for their looks, or *not* desire someone for their looks. We see it in the language; shallow and superficial to describe physical attraction and deep to describe emotional attraction. I sometimes wonder if this is just a passive aggressive shaming.
In our folktales, falling in love with someone who is ugly but has a wonderful personality is considered moral. Beauty and the Beast is a great example. Belle is considered noble for falling in love with the beast. I thought she was noble, but only because she said, "He's no monster! YOU are!" to Gaston. That line demonstrates that she understood Beast to be sentient and capable of feelings and character, including goodness and kindness no matter what form he's in. And when she said, "I love you" to Beast still in his monster form, I honestly thought she meant that she loved him as a friend and a person, not romantically (indeed, the witch never stipulated which *kind* of love was required). In fact I still interpret it that way. The falling romantically in love came after, and it's entirely possible that the romance was a result of she liked what she saw when he became human. That wouldn't make her less kind or less moral or less deep. It makes her human.
My friends, the feeling of romantic love is *not* a kindness (and please note I said *feeling*, not the corresponding actions). It is simply a feeling. No more noble than hunger or pain. And for more than a few of us, very often what tips us into romantic love is the desire we feel towards that person, which is often tipped by the way that person looks to us. There's nothing shallow or immoral or ignoble about it. It just is.
Yeah everyone had there own standards I'm just more about what they like than what they look like and I don't think it's right for people to only go off looks cause what if he's hot asf but is a really horrible person? Or is just super boring
I've never known many people who go *only* for looks. I consider looks to be the coequal of other things.
I don't care how beautiful Lizzy Velasquez (Google her) is on the inside. Indeed I've heard her speak. She's intelligent, articulate, kind, and very positive.
And under no circumstances whatsoever would I ever want to be intimate with her. If you think I "need to see past her looks," I refer you to how I described her personality in the previous paragraph.
If you're a woman reading this, Google Brian Peppers and do a little thought experiment. Ask yourself if you would want to be physically intimate with him even if he had a kind, loyal heart with an intelligent brain and an honorable and hard working ethic. You don't need to write an answer. Just think about it.
While I see how it could come off as "look here's proof I don't care about looks", it was not intended to be so. She likes putting pictures on all her posts, whether of pets or of me.
Looks matter a lot to me. They aren’t everything but it’s a main part of attraction and I expect the guy to have the same opinion. As long as you aren’t vain there’s not harm in wanting someone as good as you
Your husband is beautiful, just like you and I love to dine at restaurants and would love for lock downs to end so I can do a sit in instead of take out.
If I can 100% honest... no. I much prefer someone whom I can be in complete synch, whom I completely understand and that in turn completely understands me, rather than someone who can be really beautiful, but completely without any chemistry or mutual understanding!
But really is important to me and what really matters to me is who they are on the inside if they have a beautiful heart they're happy they can smile they're confident that's what I really care about and that shines to the outside of that person show me the outside is just a bonus it's who they are on the inside
Yes to some extent. When I married my first wife, she was about 130 pounds and sexy and cute. After 18 years of marriage and 4 kids she weighed over 400 pounds and just looking at her revolted me, seeing her naked made me want to vomit. I divorced her and vowed to never date or marry a fat woman ever again and I didn't. My Present wife is 65 and has gained some weight but she is what might be called chubby but not fat. Doesn't bother me a bit as long as she doesn't gain any more.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
To some extent yeah, they at the very least need to put in effort to their looks and hygiene regardless of looks. As a man suggesting to another man I suggest your husband ditch this mutton chop beard look he's got going on out of respect for you and himself. Just saying...
Looks are critical. For love can't start till attraction does, and then there needs to be a conversation. No one gives a shit about your guy drinking a beer.
Hahaha I was more interested in his mind I don't think I really ever found him physically attractive but I think his mind is what attracts me to him more than his appearance
Yes fortunately they matter just as much as personality. Although personality is very important, I will never date someone that I am not physically attracted to but that is just me.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
he's not bad looking I just don't like the beard choice lol
No they don't matter to me I think a person can be ugly with how they carry about them selfs around people if I do go thing good things will come u do be bad things always fallow and that's karma
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Looks 100% matter. It’s what gets your foot in the door
Since physical affection is so crucial in forming a bond, and physical appearance is a major factor in our desire to be physically affectionate, I argue that there's often a lot more to looks than just getting one's foot in the door.
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