How much do looks matter?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to say a strong yes and say looks matter to this. I was born with a jaw that was underdeveloped and an overbite. I had a huge nose that was deviated and caused inflmattion that had caused very large bags under my eyes. I had surgery last year to correct all these issues. I wore braces for a year prior and then they moved my lower jaw foward so it would fix my overbite and my profile. I got rhinoplasty and they straighted out my nose and got rid of the hump. I got blephroplasty to fix the bags on my eyes.

Life has literally changed for me and it's kind of disgusting that it did. I noticed more girls would talk to me. Dates were easy and I seem to of gotten invited everywhere. People respected me more and actually listened to what I had to say. I was looked up upon. Girls seems to just laugh at everything I say and it's kind of annoying.

Before I had such a strong personality and people still never gave me the time of day. I was a hard worker.. did well in school.. played sports.. disciplined. None of those traits were ever appreciated. I guarntee you I could smoke weed all day live at home and drop out of college and girls would still date me moreso than the old me. II think it's wrong that society is like this but oh fcking well. I really do think facial aesthetics to matter in this world. I'm living proof.

Looks Matter

Looks Don't Matter

After reading your post I think looks matter now.

Updates

+1 y

For those of you saying that looks don't matter can you please explain why things changed to much for me after my surgery?

[greenfav]

First I wanna say, beautys in the eyes of the beholder, im sure you’ve heard that quote before, everyone defines beauty differently, what 1 person finds attractive might be completely different to what another person does. Has your friend ever liked someone and your like‘What? But why?’ Though there are certain features or characteristics that many draw to you, there's not 1 exculsive model that defines beauty. That's what I genuinely believe-that everyone is beautiful. Do looks matter? To many? Ya they do. But sold with so many other factors, whats their personality like, what are their morals? do they make u laugh? What is their intelligence level? How do they treat their family? How do they express themselves? So many different elements play into what someone finds attractive. Are physical looks the only thing that matter? No, definitely not unless that’s all the individual is after, and in that case I don’t believe theyre attracted so much to the person but more towards their body. Tbh looks can't stand on their own. If you have someone whos very good-looking, but with a terrible personality. I don’t think anyones gonna pursue them past looking at them. I don’t think its someones physical features that make them attractive, its all the treasures of the individual. What they stand for, their humor, how they react to live situations, their flaws, their gifts and everything that they carry as an individual. u can't rely on the feedback of others to determine your beauty. One persons opinion of you makes no difference to others. Someone might find u unbelievably attractive, and someone else? maybe not so much. u need to know your value and beauty for yourself, not based on what anyone else thinks or what anyone else says, u are beautiful not only for your physique and personality, but everything u carry as an individual. There is so much value in that. your beautiful for being you. Dont let anyone elses opinions determine if your beautiful or not. What others think don't change the value of u. u can have a priceless diamond and someone might walk by and say, 'u know? i don’t like that diamond, that just wouldn’t suit me.'But that doesn’t change the value of that diamond, irrelevant of what that 1 person thinks. Its the same way u can't base your confidence on other peoples opinions of u, cause then youllfeel like your worthless one day, great the next day. u need to know for yourself the value of who u are and the beauty u contain the one who sees that value? thats the person whos opinion matters

[confusedgirl9]

May I say that you sounded like a very developed person before your surgery... but lacked the confidence in your appearance enough to go to lengths to 'improve' it. Since you've developed your personality and now your looks... I guarantee you're radiating the confidence of your success in these accomplishments.
I had braces for 10 years, when I was 14, I had nose job because it was broken and blocking a nostril and orthodontists suggested I do the upper jaw thing just like you but I declined because I didn't want to have my mouth wired shut. Instead they advised my mother to get an implant in my chin in order to even our my profile. Did I get more attention after surgery sans braces? Hell yes! But I looked better... When I turned 19 and grew some boobs and a bootie, did I get more attention... Oh hell yes! It's natural for humans to seek out attractive/fertile/healthy people based on our primal instincts to maintain health and choose mates that will pass on the 'healthiest' genes. A lot of that choice is based on appearance. Medicine has evolved but we have not and we are innocent in our insticts. I think you're being a little hard on humanity. Also, now that you consider yourself 'better' looking, you're more confident and are now attracting those more shallow people who aren't so interested in a person's personality... and you kind of made your bed. Instead of disliking your new found attention, perhaps be appreciative that you've achieved your desire to not only be an accomplished man, but now both and very physically attractive AND accomplished man.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I'm not sure if this will sound harsh and I hope you don't take it that way, but there's a difference in how someone looks just because that's the way they look over how someone looks due to a deformity. If you're talking about the average gentleman with regular facial features, nothing too special then no looks wouldn't matter one bit, but if you're talking about someone with a facial deformity then yes looks would come into play. In most cases personality is what's important and makes you the most beautiful person in the world, but apart of dating is the attraction part. You have to be able to draw people in in order for them to get to know you personally. Whether it be with jokes, how good you smell, your smile or whatever else it just needs to catch your eye. Unfortunately for most people it's hard to look past a visual deformity. It's not necessarily that they're too shallow to give you a chance, but people have their preferences. I know I personally wouldn't feel right dating someone with mental retardation, it just wouldn't feel right. I know those are two different things, but as uncomfortable as that would be for me, is how uncomfortable dating someone with a deformity could be for another.

[Prettygurl12]

Looks matter like 25%
Personality is like 75%

You want at LEAST 80%

The highest a good personality can get you is 75%. The highest looks can get you is 25%

Ergo you can be the NICEST person ever but if you don't have at least SOME looks then you're gonna be SOL.

[Asker]

No I can confirm my personality was great and I had a lot of good friends and connections but I still never had dates,

[Prettygurl12]

Yeah... friend personality =/= date personality yo.

[existing_not_living]

YAS! So true. My taste in guys is different from the typical teenage girl. There was this one guy at my school who was super hot, but I was never attracted to him physically. I was one of the few girls who never had a crush on him. He was a popular jock too. I only crush on guys I'm friends with first. If I crush on someone who isn't, then it's probably for a bad reason. Personality is soooooooo important I cannot stress that anymore than I already have.

[Bandit74]

I know the Politically correct thing is to say looks don't matter but I'd even say looks matter more than personality. If you're attractive you have somewhat of a halo that causes people to perceive your personality as better than it actually is. As long as you're not a completely shitty person, you're golden. Id take being above average looking with an average personality over being average looking with an above average personality. Realistically I'm probably average for both :(

Being good looking is a huge advantage. It's not because society is shallow, it's just human nature. There has litteraly never been a point in human history where physical appearance hasn't mattered. Being good looking has always been advantageous and being ugly has always been disadvantageous.

You have a unique experience, you know what it's like to be on both sides of the fence. Before you get mad at girls or think they are shallow, ask yourself this question... would you have wanted to date a girl who was the physical equivalent of the old you?

[Mistnigqa808]

OFC looks matter (facial speaking in this case) Since when I'm talking to some random girl in public I can see her eyes light up like a school girl (cause she likes what she sees) + her facial expressions are more welcoming when compared to if she would have been talking to a so called ugly guy.

Most of the people who say "looks" don't matter are the same motherfuckers who don't have them on average correct? #SorryTruthHurts i1127.photobucket.com/.../ezgif.com-add-text.gif

Think about this for a moment though "when is the last time that you've seen an attractive person dare spew that bullshit of looks not mattering? Ya know WHILE actually saying it because they mean it... not because they don't want to hurt __'feelings or seem shallow? LOL

[Mistnigqa808]

hurt ___'s feelings *

[JustMeYeah]

Honestly looks do matter, I can state why I feel like that. Only in dating looks matter, that's cause I don't date people to pass time or to break up with them later. If I stay with that person, I would be waking up to them nearly if not everyday. If they aren't attractive then that's a problem for me. I also don't feel 100% into the relationship, and I find that pointless because I know I would just leave later anyways. But looks aren't 100% of what makes the relationship. It's just the attention grabber, he would have to have a great personality to keep him, I guess you could say keep him. haha. I have tried to see if I could make things work with this guy who wasn't attractive, but he was super sweet and everything else. I was just not feeling it, it wasn't going to work. I didn't date him, but you know if you can feel it won't work, it won't work. That's just me though.
I think before you got your surgeries things were different was because people don't understand, and they aren't going to approach if they don't know the back story or anything. But I do agree with you, looks do matter, to a point at least.

[Hopefuldreamer8]

Looks matter a lot. When people say they don't, they're either saying it to be nice, or they've never experienced how people treat others based on looks.

I am very ugly. I've been getting told since I was 12 that I am ugly. I was bullied in school because of how ugly I was. When I first moved to this city, I moved into a college building because it was cheap. I wasn't going to school, but you didn't have to be. The bullying I experienced from these so called adults (college aged people) was a lot worse than I ever got in my life. It was worse than anything I experienced in High School.

I am thin, I dress well, I have good hygiene, but my face is ugly. I have a very masculine looking face, and because of that, people call me ugly all the time. If i wear baggy clothes, I get mistaken for a guy. I am 29 years old, and you would think that people would have stopped calling me ugly by now but they haven't. I went away this weekend for my birthday, and I counted at least ten times that people commented on my looks. Some woman who was older than me, actually BARKED at me. She looked as if she were in her forties, and yet she barked at me as if she were 15. So that tells me that people will never stop no matter how old I get or they get.

I know that looks matter, and it's just not for relationships but just in general. I've been experiencing it my whole life. I've also never had a relationship and I am still a virgin.

[channichole88]

I'm more like a guy in that I honestly want someone who is the same level (or higher) of attractiveness as me. No one knows what you're thinking and who you are as a person. Personality is something I'll only get to know over a period of time and isn't what most people immediately go by. In fact, chemistry is usually initiated by surface things and physical attraction to one another. Personality is the surprise filling you hope is inside the treat you're about to take a bite of (at least, to me). I'll state that I don't treat someone I find physically unattractive as some subhuman leper (you being unattractive doesn't bother/hurt me). But, I'm just not attracted to someone physically unappealing to my particular taste and am okay with that. I've been told randomly that I should be a model and that I'm a sweet person. So, honestly, I'd only really date someone with the same physical and inner attractiveness as me who is my equal. Others may not roll that way, but it's a rule I don't break and hasn't led me astray when applied generously lol.

[loved2blovedbyu]

Because that's the world we live in my friend... Like it or not, people tend to judge others based on looks before anything else, now granted, most people judge from afar, but when arriving up close and personal, 'one' can distinguish the good from the bad; whether this be based on a physical aspect or on a deeper level, or both combined. Fact is: looks do matter to the general public, but if you're a good and honest person, with or without a big nose or bags under the eyes, or a face full of freckles, or a bad case of acne... the point is, if people can't look past the imperfections of the flesh to get to know you on a deeper more intimate level, then they were never really worthy of your time in the first place

[PrincessTashaaaa]

Looks do matter. When I was younger, I was chubby. I had braces too, because I had to fix buck teeth. I had a severe overjet. Google it and see what an overjet is. I still have a weak chin too though.
I have no boobs, but since, I've really gotten into fitness. I look after myself for me, and I have noticed a huge difference in the way people treat me. When I was 16, I had anorexia. It started with crash dieting because I noticed how much better I was treated when I was thin.
Now, boys and girls who used to bully me want to know me. Those guys than made fun of my teeth want to get my number, and those girls want to know about my workout routine and diet.
I'm still a shut in and I don't have many friends because I still have pretty bad social anxiety from it.
Looks matter like crazy.

[Metlahaed]

Looks matter. It is undeniable. Not just in dating, it matters in pretty much every facet of life. From shorter court sentances to higher paying jobs, media coverage, popularity, general kindness, and so on. It is just a human reality. Life in general would be completely different if we had no concept of beauty. Arguably worse.

Would you not prefer someone you are physically attracted to over someone you are not? The answer is obvious. Anyone who says looks don't matter live in a fantasy world. However there are both upsides and downsides to being attractive and not attractive. It's hard to determine what is better... It might be "easier" to be attractive, but not necessarily better.

[bellybuttonlint]

Every time I hear about plastic surgery I hear people "accept yourself for who you are" and what not, but I know this person was so self conscious about her particular "defect" that she went through counseling and therapy to change her attitude about it. It didn't work. She had surgery to correct it and this was almost 2 decades ago.

About 20 years later in 2018 she does not even look back and was glad she did it and is happier than ever.

While I do advocate loving yourself first, sometimes "fixing" yourself is the only solution.

[Prochnost]

Everyone's different and most will judge you at looks first but the best friends, loved ones, and family will always love you for your personality more.

Yes, society sucks, I don't disagree with you there haha!

I've always kept my circle small, and now the ones I have are the ones I play cs-go with and they're a bunch of college mofos who think their degree will matter in the real world. hahahah~

Don't forget though ! There's also people who hate prettier people. I mean, just look at Bieber ! EVERYONE hates him !

[Anonymous]

Looks matter, but are only a percentage of why people like who they like. Your luck changed after your surgery, because your view of yourself, outlook on life, & personality changed. You became more confident in yourself which creates a more welcoming atmosphere.

Before dating a guy I have to know what he think he brings to a relationship, his answers is ultimately what decides if he'll be a good match, not just his looks.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1669450-guys-what-do-you-bring-to-a-relationship

[FriedChickeneisha]

Looks only matter to a certain extent. If you are unattractive to me, your personality has to make up for everywhere you are lacking. I would still have to say looks MOSTLY don't matter for me, but it might make it a whole lot harder to win me over if I don't find you physically attractive. I've dated my fair share of "unattractive" guys, so i definitely stand by the looks don't matter thing. But that is for me personally. Most people aren't like that.

[CapricornSwagL]

Looks DO matter to me but for me personality is wayyyy more important. Both would be awesome but personality works better for me. I'll choose a guy that's not the finest thing walking but have a striking personality, respects me, and sweet over a EXTRA fine sexy guy with a f'ed up personality any day

[Andie15]

Well I'm fairly popular and I've always dated the hot popular guys and is think it was great at first but then it was just gross because I only thought they were attractive physically but I have fallen in love twice but for people I wasn't physically attracted too I fell for them then slowly became attracted to their appearance it all depends

[unkissme]

I think things may have changed for you so much after surgery because you felt more confident... like you were allowed to feel confidence now that your looks had changed. I think the fact that you felt people respected you more is a direct reflection on our sucky society and no matter what anyone could ever say, looks do not matter. At least they don't matter to real people who value people regardless of how attractive they are... and those are the only ones you should hang out around anyway.

[peachblossomluck]

I just upvoted everyone for being honest. Yes, looks matter. You can be average and personality can help pave your way but realistically the way people perceive and treat you, they base, even subconsciously upon looks. Beauty can work against someone too but again, that's beauty doing the influencing.

[Dessertfox]

For me you just have to be healthy but I rather have personality. There is nothing like being in love with a woman's heart and soul. Looks are just an added bonus. Wen I'm in love with a woman I don't give another woman the time of day my eyes and attention are for who I'm with.

[bundy]

Well obviously if you want to date someone you at least want to find them sexual attractive. Cause your gonna be with them for a long time if it works. But I would consider personality to be more important. Don't want to die of boredom.

Although in your situation I can see what you mean. But don't judge all women just by several in your area

[Abe90]

Looks matters to everyone regardless if they agree or not. If they disagree then they're lying. We all have different taste or preferences and what someone likes, someone else won't. A lot of people focus on just looks by itself which isn't right. And then there's the type of people that look for personality and looks. I value this one because I could find someone who's personality could click with mine but I'm not attracted to the person. So that's take on it

[Anonymous]

Hell yeah! Looks matter!
And these people are lying!

Why does no one believe me that I’m ugly and want plastic surgery? ↗

[Anonymous]

Looks matter to everyone.

When someone says looks don't matter, what they MEAN is that good looks don't make up for having a shitty attitude and being a douchebag, and that they wouldn't date a shitty person non matter how hot he/she is.

It does NOT mean that a stellar personality can make looks meaningless. Common misconception.

[Anonymous]

Those girls that would not talk to you before are the ones that you're basing your opinion on and i totally understand. But many girls look past outer appearance. I personally don't care what someone looks like because that kind of stuff doesn't matter to me. Obviously the first thing that attracts me to a person can't be a personality, but what attracts me is their facial expression. For example, an "ugly" smiling person is way more attractive than a "good-looking" angry person. tbh i find imperfections really attractive and I know many girls that agree. There is always that group of girls that will judge you, but those girls are often the "good-looking" ones. To me at least, I do not think looks matter in the least.