Do you think it is a good idea to live together before marriage? (Page 2)
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I don't like the idea of sleeping together before marriage. I think marriage has hurtles that they should over come. If they look for perfect match the relationship won't work. I think they should learn to compromise and live together until the end and marriage is the beginning.
Were you drinking before you wrote this "White women are hookers"? It is a total change from your first comment which I liked.
I don't think cohabitation is a requisite, and in fact, I think the idea is very inconvenient. If the relationship isn't that serious, I don't want to share my living space, and even if the relationship is very serious, if you break up, you have to move out and start all over. I don't think it's rude.
With divorce rates so high guys just want to know how you are when you’re not on your best behavior by living together for awhile, maybe they need a deadline though so it just doesn’t continue as living together but a trial period before marriage. Of course in you go away on a vacation for a week with them you’ll learn a lot about them real quick and so will they
I did not cohabitate with my wife either. Her father may have shot me. But I think that we never really missed out on anything. We had sex before marriage so we knew that we loved having sex with each other. We have been married for 25 years.
Oh god yes, I fact I think it should be mandatory lol
You never know someone until you live with them, and in this day and age where people freely divorce, not loving with someone before marriage could become costly by the time you find the right person.
Only if you and your boyfriend have been having sex for 5 years so it's not abut sex anymore. If they want to take it to the next step they may as well as there are bound to be no surprises at this point. Hopefully they have gotten to know each other very well and know if they are sexually compatible. But they would probably be living togethr anyways in that case.
I won't live with anyone before I marry them. I think it is a really bad idea. It is playing house. I could move to the house next door. I think within 2 years of dating both should know whether marriage could work.
Did a guy want you to move in with him?
Are these barbies from your collection?
How are you not religious? You answer all religious questions on here. You can find scripture very fast. You must have been a go to church every week kid? The bible says bring them up in the church and they won'r depart later. Something to that effect.
Is that a Trump Ken Doll , look at what he is grabbing?
Absolutely. I want to know what living with my potential future spouse is gonna be like before we commit to a life together. I don't want to wait until after I say "I do" to learn my new husband doesn't pull his own weight in chores. I enjoy cleaning and I'm a good cook, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to be the only one doing it. You learn a lot about someone when you live with them
I’ve had best friends that when I moved in with our friendship deteriorated. Cohabitation can still be considered a domestic partnership in some places, so in those it probably won’t matter. But finding out how the two of you live together first is a lot easier than going through a lengthy divorce.
I have no issue with your position.
Even if you don't want to live with them, though, you still have to spend a lot of time with them. The point of this is to prove that you're not crazy, and that you both can get along well together.
My suggestion is this: ask the guy you're seeing for an opportunity to prove yourself to him.
Proving yourself should be a two way street. It's not one only that has to prove their "worth".
@Daniela1982 Oh, absolutely! I am in 100% agreement with that.
A good idea it is & if you are unable to live together before marriage you probably will be unable to live together when you get married.
I did it once won't recommend that was definitely the worst breakup especially deciding who gets what…. you can come over sometimes but you can’t live with me unless there’s a ring on my finger I don’t have time.
Nothing better than the voice of experience.
Yup!!!
hmm... where's this list of alternatives ways to get to know each other well or better?
I want to see it, then we could see how to make them more compelling, sometimes is just about selling the idea the correct way, and to the right suitor
Don’t you want him to know all his weird habits and quirks before you get married…
You can learn that during an engagement too.
Oh, ok.. that’s kinda what I meant.. at least live together for a year while you’re engaged. You’re ok with that then, right?
Living together is not an engagement, it is shacking up.
No, I mean if you’re engaged, you should try living with each other before you tie the knot and if he doesn’t wanna commit, leave
You can always say no to an engagement and continue on dating them living your life in separate households but if it’s serious which marriage should be taken serious, live with each other. Why not?
I can see why they think you have something to hide.. lol
Then what is the point of an engagement?
I don’t see the big deal about engagement in the first place. It’s just like a promise ring to me, letting the whole world you’re claiming each other but for me, if I were to marry someone, I would def want to live with them for a year at least
You can even have your own bedroom!
Come on! You know only one bed will be slept in. Sometimes when you court temptation you just can't help yourself and give in.
Oh. I thought maybe that was your reason for feeling so against a move in together. Anyways, I want my own bedroom.
At your age I don't think you have time for even a short engagement. LOL
I’m not planning to have kids so I didn’t have to worry about my biological clock. And I don’t need a man to fall in love with me me to have kids. I just need some sperm.
I gotta notha 100 years left
The reality is you don't REALLY know someone until you live with them. The list of things that could go wrong is long. Some can be insurmountable. I liken it to performing your due diligence beforehand.
Regardless of the statistics of cohabitation before marriage leading to divorce, it is not always easy getting someone to move out once you’ve broken up with them. It’s almost as bad as a divorce.
So you are saying they are squatting? Well there is a moratorium on evictions now so you are stuck.
Ha! Good point too. You can’t even evict them if they’re just living rent free anymore.
Where do you even live that you can't just throw their stuff out? Cohabitation is not a landlord tenant scenario with the same laws. There is no law that forces people to share a bed and bathroom and such. When you personally live in the space its totally different.
@bamesjond0069 It’s not a landlord tenant situation. It’s an owner-guest situation. If you invite a guest to stay at your house, it is illegal to throw their stuff out the minute you decide you don’t want them there, especially if it becomes their fixed address. Most people will leave voluntarily when they’re no longer wanted but you do have the people who will try to stay and claim that the owner invited them to stay indefinitely. In most situations, if the resident has a established residence, it takes a minimum of 30 days to evict regardless of non-payment.
Just doesn't seem enforceable. So you invite a girl to move in, she acts crazy. If her stuff is outside how can she prove she even lives there in the first place? Who is to say she didn't move out then decide she wants to move back in? Plus if she say calls the police, are the going to say yes you go back into say your 1br apartment to sleep tonight with some man who claims you dont live her and is angry etc. They certainly aren't going to move her stuff back in for her. Its an issue for courts not criminal charge. By the time its actually in a court room and she's living elsewhere like i said who is to say she wasn't moving out on her own? I mean im assuming your girlfriend doesn't have a lease or legal documents giving notice nor why would any reasonable person have such things with a girlfriend? This is just my opinion on having lived with multiple women over the years. One or two instances where a girl acted like a fucktard ie one punched me in the face and the other said she was going out to do drugs with some dude and i said if you leave dont come back your shit will be outside. The one called the cops and they just told her they werent going to get involved basically.
@bamesjond0069 That’s why it’s not recommended. It depends on where you live though.
1. She's a virgin and religious and don't want to live in before marrige -- understandable
2. She's sexually active before and now don't want to live in all the time but for weekends , sometimes ---- understandable
3. She was active but now don't want to live in have sex with the new guy before marrige --- hell no , that's like friendship where women take advantage of guys.
And like he isn't taking advantage of her?
If two people are in relationship , they are bound to have it sexual and more than that too. But physical is important. I do know a relationship is more than that but if she doesn't agree to have it physical too , I will not agree at all. I have done that before and got taken advantage off. She started to have physical with other guys who did wanted nothing but sex. If a girl I am interested , says no to physical it's a hard pass for me.
If it was me I may think I got lucky and missed a bullet on that one. Yes, sex is part of a relationship but most people put it at the top of their priorities and that is why their relationship fails. At least later if not sooner.
The statistics show it isn't when it comes to the rate of divorce.
I do think you should live with your partner for a time before marriage, just to see if your compatible doing that. Same people are perfect for each other in terms of personality and looks, but just don't mesh well in their everyday routines. So, best to find some sort of middle ground before your in too deep
You learn about nuances and more intimate details living with someone. But also it can shape how you want to really live together long-term. It's worth it if it's possible, but it's not always because relationships can be complicated.