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My family never pressured me, not at all, and I have been with the same man since I was 26 so I can't speak on that, personally.
Lying is not a great idea, right. But it depends on how exactly the family is acting. Desperate times call for... ?
The world would probably be better, and females would probably feel better about themselves, if they learned assertiveness (without anger etc.) It's all this avoidance that doesn't really confront the issue, and get people to back off, adjust how they treat you, what they say, etc etc. The [potential] lie wouldn't prevent them from starting up again, whenever you chose to stop lying, if the situation/your dating status remained. So what it does it just kick the can down the road, and freeze the [shittiness] of the relationships as they are.
But I can relate this to other issues/topics with family, and I wouldn't exactly hold it against you (or anyone) for trying everything you can to be firm, polite, forthright... and then eventually throwing your hands up, concluding, "Well what else can I do? These people are so stubborn, and driving me crazy!" So then you just completely avoid the topic that you know would set them off. It takes two people to come to a resolution, or compromise, and barring that, you have to do what you have to do, just to have sanity and inner peace.
I'm just telling them the truth. I'm not going to lie at them. In our family, whenever we have a girlfriend/boyfriend, we need to introduce them to our parents, so yeah, I can't lie. Being single is not a big deal. If you are happy with it, why do you need to push yourself to please others? Your happiness is depends on yourself. If you aren't ready, don't rush into a relationship. It's not a game when it comes to love. It's also not a competition. Maybe it's their turn now, but it's not ours yet. Just follow the flow. If it's meant to be, it will be.
Honestly yes, I'm 21 my parents have gone on since I was about 16 about me not having gone on dates and that. At first they always asked if I wanted to marry or had a girlfriend
They also say that if I want to move out I should just get a girlfriend as tho it's a choice on my part I'm single.
Then they went through a stage of always saying that it's fine if your gay and you can tell us and that. The acceptance would be nice but I'm straight and they just assume that as I've not had a girlfriend I must be gay bit don't want to say anything to them. Which doesn't feel good at all.
And now they do the get a girlfriend, it's fine if your gay and you know some people never meet anyone and are alone for their lives that's okay to. Which to me feels like that's what they expect now of me and that they are trying to convince me of it so I can accept it.
It's why I hate living with them. It's really easy to have the confidence to meet people when you live with people who through the guise of acceptance make you feel like shit about yourself.
Hasn't had a girlfriend by now must be gay. Then not been on a date or anything by this point must be a loner for life.
Sorry for the rant. I hope my answer can be of some help to your question.
I’m actually 40 and I know exactly how you feel. I’m the oldest sibling from a big family who is unmarried and no kids. I was poked and prodded for years about this. The worst by far was Christmas time.
You just have to flat out tell people to STFU tbh. That’s what I have done and for the last few years people have finally stopped bringing that up.
In a way they don’t know any better. Most of them have been in long term relationships and have completely forgotten what a huge pain in the ass it is to date. The human mind has a way of purging out the past. The heart aches they did have where muted out because they are currently with someone.
Also there is a more selfish reason that my mom in particular was the worst about this. She just wants to tell her friends and family that I’m married because that’s a sign of success for her. She’s more worried about her “image” than my own happiness or lack thereof. That was the most infuriating of it all.
But if it gets is bad you might have to wall some people off. That sounds drastic but sometimes it’s the best option.
Opinion
48Opinion
u I am currently living with my 57 year old girlfriend so I have no need to lie. I am also 66 years old and no one is waiting for children.
For you, I would just make it a gigantic joke. "Wanna know the truth? . . . Actually, I'm lesbian, or. . . I'm dating a guy who's a secret agent and if I tell you his name, he'll have to kill you, or. . . I'm in training to be one of the first astronauts to Mars and they only take single people who aren't dating, or. . . shall I continue?"
Keep going
Nah I have no reason to lie to my family about my life like that. I've been in a relationship since I was 16 so they've never bothered me about that kind of stuff anyways.
Always truth.
After a certain time, you realize there is no satisfied family in the world. I was lying at first but then they started to pressure me for another stuff so I let things go.
They try to push me to get married but I don't want it until building my certain needs. I believe if I can't be happy by myself I'll make my partner unhappy too. So I decided to learn and grow for myself. I talked to them about it of course they didn't understand. I don't care. I know what I know. That's enough. If you're in the same situation too I strongly recommend trusting yourself no one lives this life as you. They can advise but not decide.
Loves.
No I would not lie about it as you are just creating more hassle for yourself in future. 85% of women have kids so it's normal that your family will expect women to have relationships and kids. But it's also inevitable that c. 15% of women will not.
When grannies go on about it, look at it from their perspective: they just want a baby to coo over and there is an 85% probability you, as a woman will do this. But that's not 100% and they should be able to work it out eventually, especially when you have all that extra free time, and money and holidays etc, from not having a relationship and kids. Enjoy!
Nope! I tell the truth like it is, no matter who it is. If you’re not into dating a the time, then don’t entertain them with lies. If you can’t get a S. O., then say you can’t find a man/woman. If you break up with someone, tell the family, they had to go! Easy stuff and keep it moving.
My family doesn’t ask me about mines because they know my standards are up and I’m not going to bring any guy to my house.. I’m the only sibling single at this point out of my 3 sisters - who 2 are having a hard time in their marriage and my other sister is married to her military husband
Just be straight up with them and Have no shame. older people specifically are so hung up on doing things a certain way. you dont need to work the same job for 35 years and you dont need to make your parents grandparents. Do what you want and be proud of what you're doing.
Nah that takes too much effort. I make it known that I don't give a f*ck if I'm single or not so they shouldn't either. I'm also a blunt person and will tell anyone if I don't want something or not so if they come to me to talk about some guy they can match me with, I will right then and there tell them that I'm not interested. If they go further, then I will call them rude and to get out of my face.
No because it doesn't really matter what they say they're going to give me a hard time so I like rub it in their face and I tell them the truth. Most of the time they don't believe the truth so then I Resort to a big smile and a big fat lie and I tell them everything that they don't want you here is the girl I'm going out with Aunt is the girl for me yep that's what I do LOL I make it big I make it bold
u lmao... no, I would never lie about that, and I do not like to lie about things in general
but also, my family (and relatives) have learned to just let me live my life the way I want to live it... lol
If you have a family like that, just tell them you’re not ready yet and if they keep insisting, u need to say you don’t appreciate how much they keep pushing you because you’re simply not ready for a love life and they should accept that.
The reasons behind that don’t matter. And being single is a good thing, you don’t have to be with someone or have children or get married to be a whole person.
No I just shut them down the same way I shut down that conversation in college
I'm single and will remain that way until I have a Rolex on my wrist and a million in my assets column (I probably used bank but these days I don't trust them well certainly not that much)
No. I visit my family once a year and my mom asks me every time if I have a girlfriend. There is not one I've seen where I live that I legitimately thought I could make it with. Relationships here are the product that always seems to be getting negative reviews and for me, is being less and less convinced to buy it.
Yes I have to lie like say I’m meeting boyfriend every weekend but I don’t see boyfriend every weekend I’m alone most of the time. If I’m not seeing boyfriend weekly then they say he’s not my boyfriend. But that’s not true u can’t see a guy weekly nonstop men have to work hav own life they can’t be with girlfriend 24/7. I need lie to them always as they bother me.
I find no shame in not finding my SO yet. Only deep loneliness and disappointment. I know however that I will find her when the time comes, and that rushing into a relationship always backfires.
Plus my mom wouldn’t leave me alone if I told her I got myself into a relationship until I posted pics of us together on Facebook. rofl
As for me I’m open as well as honest with my family & when they ask I tell them I’m single and accepting applications & when it come to being single I’m single because I simply choose to be.
I’ve lied both ways. Once I was dating a woman twice my age so just said I was focusing on school.. and when single my family always tries to match make so I sometimes say I’m seeing someone to avoid it. It’s not the end of the world but I don’t like knowing that if things don’t work out with someone they tried to set me up with that I’ll have “offended their family” or something..
I don’t care what my family thinks anymore. Most of them know I’ve got standards which is why I’m single lol. And those who judge me are barely in happy healthy marriages themselves - in through one ear and out the other :)
Depends if I'd want to talk about it to them. They're probably worried about it or something.
But generally I dont think others can help you out in your love life, so no real point of really discussing it.
My parents don't ask about my love life. They know I'm single and they know I will tell them if I'm seeing someone. They're not obsessed with my love life And I think it's rely weird that some parents are
i never lied about it, i dont care how weird my brothers and their wives think i am. when i find that right person ill find him im not rushing anything nor lying to appease anyone
I lie and tell them I'm not seeing anyone because it's none of their business, lol.
I probably wouldn't tell them til a couple of years in marriage.
I've kept some girlfriends a secret from my family because my female family members have crazy high standards so I don't want to hear their opinions. It was easy to do that when I lived overseas.
The problem with that is they'll want details, so you have to tell more than 1 lie. If you could just tell them 1 and the subject be dropped, but no lol
Having kids and marriage does not make you a success story. Just remember that when you are lying to your family about that.
i have lied about having a love life just so my family, esp my real mom, would stop hounding me about getting married and having kids.
Mine wants me to figure out how to get rich. They've already written off the possibility of me settling down. Tried many times, to no avail.
Well... are you the problem or just not able? That is the question.
If you're bitchy, unhygienic, unsociable etc etc, then you know they are looking out for you and you should maybe ask them for help.
If you're just not able because of disability, then that is a different matter and they're probably teasing.
Either way they probably want to know if you're an evolutionary dead end or not.
It’s nobodies business but your own. Give them crickets, they create their own uncomfortable silence. Not cool to pressure people.
I’m very lucky that my family never pressured me to have kids or get married, so they never ask me such questions. In turn, I never cared what other people were up to, I don’t want kids and never will, and I think marriage is stupid.
Just tell the truth, and say you don’t want to discuss it. If they ask again, pointedly change the subject. “Wow, how about the weather lately?”
is this question secretly about u? 🤔😅
i’ve told my mom i had a girlfriend when i didn’t cuz she wouldn’t wanna hear i was just hooking up 🤣
No, I was the one that never had my mom or aunts try to set me up with some of their younger coworkers or daughters of their friends.
My cousins however were always being recommended women to pursue
No, that just opens up more questions and a web of lies.
I don't lie about it.
I just tell that I'm not dating and/or not interested in doing so.
I have the same problem. I don't even answer their questions
I wouldn't lie. I'd very firmly tell them to back off and stop asking me that. And if they continue pressuring, I'd cut contact with them.
No lol. they’re hearing the truth. I’m not gonna go into detail about it with them though. I can see why that would make someone upset or uncomfortable
Might as well just tell them. I had this happen earlier. I just said that I try dating then I find out that they're not what I'm looking for so I leave before I take up too much time with the wrong person.
Yes, I have told them that I was not seeing anyone so they would not ask any questions.
No. My family has never pressured me in that way. Maybe they just figure I'm not compatible with anyone.
Nope. I would tell them exactly what is going an and sternly ask them to leave me alone and mind Thier business.
I would tell them the truth and if they annoy me about my choice I would tell them off
Yes my entire family thinks im straight, The only person that knows im gay is my brother.
If they ask more that twice I will say that's personal and non of your business some people just like talking and talking
Depends on the family. If they are super pushy, I would tell them the truth and, mind their own business. If is just occasional, I would like to keep them happy.
Nope. Why lie. What's the point.
It's my life if you don't like the way I live it. Too bad.
If my parents were to ask me, than I would lie to them, because its none of their business.
I would be unconcerned with what they think and live my life.
Or pay a Friend, to come to some family functions, and pretend to be your SO?
No! I tell them it's not their business, and FCK OFF!
I couldn't lie because they all know im not getting a girlfriend anytime soon
yeah i would because it already gets annoying and im not even 16
dont let society control you make your own family tell your so call family they blindy follow old society
im personally a teenager so idek but if i was you i would like rather tell em the truth but im pretty sure that won't stop them from asking questions
Yes, many times unfortunately 🥲
No, I don’t feel the need to lie at all.
No, because then I'd have to back up my lies. Lmao
I tell them to mind their business
Nope I don’t have to lie to kick it
No need to. Family should not judge you.
