Guilt is stopping me from breaking up with my boyfriend of seven years?

[Anonymous]

I feel like he will be a complete mess if I break up with him at this point. I don’t really feel excited about being with him anymore and although I would hate to lose him in my life I don’t think I want him as a life partner forever.

But yes I will really miss him too and I’ll remember him forever but I am not in love with him.

I just feel super guilty about leaving him after so many years and knowing him I feel like he’ll never get over it or move on. He’s only 29 and I feel almost 100% certain he’ll never get married or have a family life. He’ll probably go back to substance abuse again. I don’t want to do that to him.

I care about him a lot but I don’t want to live the rest of my life as eventually his wife.

[MissDebra1]

You can't stay with him sense you feel that way. Look at it like this, if you tell him, you give him the chance to move on too an hopefully find someone who will feel for him in the way you don't. Just tell him as calm an kind as possible. Assure him that life is not over just cause you aren't together, that he can move on and find someone, that if he's willing, you will always be his friend in his life, but that it is best for you both to end the relationship. The sooner you do it the better, course it won't be easy but, if thats how you're feeling, you have to let him know.

[Xoxocutekitty]

It's not your job to 'fix' mediocre mentally unstable men. You don't need to wait for the magical straw that 'proves' why you need to break up.

You can break up as soon as you realize there is no future and that you are better on your own that with this person.

[MotorcycleMan]

You are not responsible for what he does with his life. His life is his choice. You are not doing him any favors if you stay with him when you don't love him. You are not giving him the opportunity to find his true love (what he does with that opportunity is again, up to him).
Additionally, you are not giving yourself the opportunity to find true love. At the end of your life, do you want to look back and think "crap, I should have moved on 40 years ago"?

[Anonymous]

You need to be strong and explain it pretty much as you have here. Calmly, maturely. You have already decided the relationship has ended although maybe you want you remain friends, maybe you don't. You are not responsible for his life if you have clean hands.

[Schizoaffective]

I have been in a very similar situation although it was 3 years.
You are not responsible of someone else's well being and happiness.
But you are responsible for your own.
You only live once, don't live for others.
Build the life you want and be around people that excites you.

[Schizoaffective]

responsible of *
excite*

[prettygurlrock]

Well you need to be honest. Sit down and have a conversation about it in a private place. Tell him you still have love for him but you just fell out of love. It is going to hurt but the truth will set you free

[Pterodon]

Your own happiness comes first and when you breakup you will not be friends

[Anonymous]

wow you're a damn jerk leading him on all these years then dumping him you're a real asshole