Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? How long did it last? Why do you think it ended?

[Mariah2406]

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Many when I was around 15.

They lasted different amounts of time but they all ended badly. Long story short, I strongly recommend against long distance relationships. Especially when you don't have the freedom, finances and transportation to meet up.

Most of them turned out to be completely fake. I thought we were dating, loved these girls so much, gave up everything I had to go see them and found out they had a "real" boyfriend where they lived, or two or three, and countless other internet boyfriends.

That hurt worse than just about anything I've ever experienced. And the way the internet is now, you will never know for sure. A lot of people are really good liars.

But, even when they were honest and truthful, really cared, really wanted to be with me... It only lead to tears.

Realistically, it will be at least 3 years before you can see eachother on a regular basis, and that's right when most people go off to college which is a huge relationship killer.

The chance that you both make it that long without getting bored or meeting someone else is very low. In person friendships will be a lot harder to ignore than long distance relationships, so the ones that went "well" still ended in cheating and or breaking up before they really got started. It hurts so bad to have someone leave and think "if I could have just been there..." Or, even to leave someone you really like because they aren't.

You will be happier with someone who really can be there for you. Heck, I'm happier alone than I was on the best days, because even when things are great, it hurts to want to be with someone who is a hundred miles away.

And even if you make it through all of that... I had a friend who I kind of dodged a long distance relationship with. She was absolutely fantastic and adorable and I really liked her, but I just new better. She ended up in a long distance relationship with a guy from Australia for years. After 3 or 4 years he literally made it half way around the world to see her, she said it was super awkward (which it always is) and some time after that they ended up not getting along and breaking up anyways.

It's a lot of time, effort, pain, tears, and missed opportunities to be in a situation you where you have almost no control over your own relationship, can't see eachother, and will never really know the truth.

My advice, be friends. Explain to him that long distance relationships are more likely to fall flat and ruin friendships than they are to ever have a happy ending.

If you are still friends when you have the time and money and freedom to meet up in person, GO DO IT!!! See how it goes. And then you can consider finding a way to live closer together if you want to try to make something of it.

For people in their 30's who aren't likely to change so much as time goes by, have the finances and freedom to meet up when they want, and have probably been through a few relationships already I say it's worth a shot to try to travel and see eachother for some time until things get serious.

But at 15, my girlfriend asked me "what if we grow up and grow apart?" And I was kinda terrified, but I said "we won't, we'll grow together"

Unfortunately, you can't really do that when you never see someone. You won't be the same person you are now when you're 25. You are at that point where you are just starting to become an adult, and that's awesome. Truly one of the most enjoyable and enlightening times for all of us, but a lot will change. More than you probably realize. Especially the way the world is changing so fast these days.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

You have a lot on your plate, and a lot of awesome opportunities.

Don't waste your time crying because you can't be with someone and then crying because they are gone. It isn't worth it.

Find someone you can spend time with, and keep those long distance friendships until you have a fair shot at making them work as relationships, Instead of jumping the gun and letting the flames die out before you ever meet someone.

If they can't accept that, they aren't the one, and you will still be better off in the long run.
I wasn't popular at my school, but I did great online so I felt like it was my only option and it would be worth it to me. Tried it so many times I lost count, but practically all my good memories are with people who lived in my town when we actually hung out in person. It's just not the same. And all the worst ones and the worst scars came from relationships that started online, I got super invested in, and ended in heartbreak.

Take it from someone with ten years of experience, I've never once seen it work out well.

But I miss the friends i could have kept, and I wish we could take that chance now when it might actually work out, but it's too late once it's already crashed and burned.

Not to mention, all the fun my friends were having on their actual dates or just out hanging out being single.

You give up so much, for what usually ends up being nothing but tears.

I don't recommend it.

[Mariah2406]

Well I am 15, and i have been long distance with my boyfriend for 5 months. It's going pretty well, and he even talks about getting married, having kids, going to college together, and he is very honest. I hope you are OK.

[Lost_in_the_Woods]

Yeah, that's how it starts.

I hope you are one of the few lucky ones.

[oksaysme]

Yes and it was horrible. I think most long distance relationships are an inadvertent balance between two saying: “distance makes the heart grow fonder” and “out of sight, Out of mind.” Mine ended because it became significantly harder to connect our lives when even simple conversations to keep up with each other couldn’t happen as easily as talking to the other person while living life. We had to try and love our lives together but apart. There had to be a text or a phone call or some sort of extra effort and eventually the desire/willingness to do that fizzled out. It can work, but unless you’ve done it before, you don’t know what you are getting yourself into.

[clampfan101]

One that went back and forth between short and long distance, but mostly long distance. I certainly know without a doubt why it ended…
The Sad Love Story that is My Life ↗