Why are guys so oblivious?

They don't notice anything. I practically throw myself at this guy every day. We have a lot of mutual friends who know I like him and know that he likes me because we make it that obvious.

But the only one who doesn't know I like him is him and I'm guessing that's why he hasn't asked me out yet.

how can I get the guy to just ask me out already? I would ask him myself but I'm not really sure how.


Most Helpful Guy

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    "On the flip side, women constantly try to use subtext with men and we often miss their cues. A classic example is the woman at a party or lounge who is trying to get a guy come talk to her. She purpsoely gives off IOIs and in her mind she feels like she's being so obvious that the other women in the room will think she's a slut. To the guy in question he usually ends up thinking "Does that mean she likes me? Should I go over and talk to her?" or something along those lines."

    Instead of being in your head thinking you're being obvious, why don't you actually be overt and tell him what you think. This is the 21st century, women are equal, and it's time you take some responsibility for your own happiness and ask him out.


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What Guys Said 6

  • Well, he probobly is noticing the hints you are throwing at him.

    But one thing you should know, is that A LOT of girls always mess with guys and flirt with them without meaning anything.

    So for some guys, it's hard to know whether the girl is meaning it or just messing with them.

    The easiest way is if you just make the first move, if he's keen, then it's your lucky day


  • ask him in private with a straight question , ' Hey, do you want to go out some time?' or something like that. Guys don't have to be seduced before they are asked - O, by the way, make sure your are on his good side; I like loads of girls, but I wouldn't want to go out with them because of their attitude or their attitude towards me.

    I know you would be nervous but that's good, If you approach him confident, he will feel intimidated, and will think this is all a prank, and will loose interest in you quickly,

    With guys, if you are making the first approach, it has to be perfect.

  • If you want to ask him out, you say "Do you want to go on a date with me?" It's really that simple.

    If you drop a hint that you think is obvious, but the other person doesn't interpret the hint the way you intended I don't think it's fair to blame the other person. Hints are 100% subjective, in the eye of the beholder. I've asked out girls who I thought were "obviously" flirting and dropping hints, but it turned out they were only being friendly and I was reading into their behavior.

    I've learned the hard way it's best to communicate directly with people. That way there's a lot less fussing and fighting, and problems resolve themselves much quicker.

    Good luck!

    • Yeah that's what my friend said. Her exact words! "Do you want to date me?"

  • If you both are obvious and you know both of you like eachother, then ask him out. Say let's go do something.

  • Just go up to him and ask him if he wants to grab dinner sometime.

  • i think you just need to get him alone and talk to him. or text him and ask him if he likes you and if he would be interested in taking you to dinner sometime or something


What Girls Said 2

  • OK so your not in high school anymore- right. Just go for it. Get some one on one time with him. tell him your car needs a jump or see if he can come over and fix your computer- make something up. Once you have him all to yourself, magically the problem was fixed (again story is up to you) Than its time to break the ice.

    Here's my true story. I went to dinner with my best friends older brotherr who I was always flirting with. It was pretty obvious there were sparks there but he wasnt doing anything about it. As soon as we sat down for dinner I order 2 shots of tequlia to loosen us up. After the shot settled I said. lets just kiss and get it over with so the rest of the night we can keep kissing and not waste time.

    He thought it was awesome, quite aggressive but he still to this day brings up how no girl ever did that- almost ten years have gone by and we still have sparks when we see one another. I won't tell you all what happens when we do see each other but being aggressive definitly pays off and saves a lot of the time spent guessing does he like me?

    THe worst that happens is nothing.

    • Actually I am in high school haa

    • Hmmm you can try it at a keg party than maybe... lol

    • Im in a similar situation as her except that I like him and he and I are good friends and he doesn't know I like him and I'm not sure if he's interested. If I relay that interest and he's not inerested. I run the risk of scaring him off.

  • Okay, just for kicks, I only looked at this guy once or twice with a smile and he totally noticed and started being more affectionate towards me. So I guess the moral here is that some guys aren't I guess?

    If you're "throwing yourself at him" he probably IS noticing but maybe he doesn't like you afterall?

    I would advise just communicating to him with words so that you can get the truth and we won't feel so frustrated. I know it might be hard to do this but you've got nothing to lose.

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