How do I deal with my anger problems?

[Anonymous]

I'm a very friendly and kind girl generally but the minute I get angry I get very nasty. I've been like this since childhood and I want to change my behaviour because it's not only hurting my family but it's also affecting my relationship with my boyfriend who I love a lot.

Any practical tips that can help? Xx

[caring__1]

Stress is something to manage; anger is not. If you learn how to manage your anger, you'll spend the rest of your life managing endless anger... not something I'd look forward to.

Have you ever heard of the drug problem? Actually, there's no such thing. Drugs are the solution, not the problem. If you eliminate the drugs, they'll either find another source for the drugs or another solution that might be equally as dysfunctional. You can't solve a solution. If you don't identify and treat the actual problem, the problem will continue to exist.

The same holds true with anger. If you go to the source of anger, you'll discover expectations. Sometimes they are realistic and sometimes they're not. Whether they're realistic or not, if our expectations aren't met, we get frustrated, and we tend to project that frustration out as anger. Anger will never give positive results, so it's a waste of time and energy. If you don't want to be angry, take a good hard look at your expectations. Are they realistic? Expecting others to change isn't realistic. The only realistic expectation is whatever pattern exists will continue to exist. You can alter things within your control, but never fool yourself into believing you can alter others. If you don't like what you see in others, no one's saying you have to stick around, but never assume people are lumps of clay, eager to be molded by you. Once you've identified your expectations, get rid of the unrealistic ones. For the realistic ones, learn what you can do to address and resolve the issue, and then follow through and see what you can accomplish.

Best wishes for your success.

[BillyBalls]

Realize that the only thing you can control are your reactions to situations.

[Ardafit67]

I'm just like you, by the way, I'm from Turkey, people like that here too, do a lot of sports, look at yourself