He deals with anger by isolation?

[WizzardGirl]

Everytime my boyfriend feels angry or sad or depressed he isolates himself

He stops talking, he refuses to meet, he doesn't answer the whatsapps or phone calls

Why can't he just say whats wrong? why he shuts down and says he needs space and literally ignores me

Why deal with problems ignoring them hiding from them and isolating himself from the world?

[Bee-Hatch]

Ok this has an easy fix, you don't understand how men work, and you're actually meaning things worse by interfering like this. To fix this, get yourself a copy of a book, or audio book called 'men are from Mars, women are from venus' and read, paying attention to the subject of 'the cave'.
I know you think you're trying to help, but honestly read the book and you'll find out the best thing you can do is leave him to it. Going in with a bunch of questions just makes the isolation longer, and you need to stop. I know it's counter intuitive for you, but your approach is how a woman helps a woman, and the cock and balls should give you a hint he's not a woman. You need to learn how men help each other to be supportive. Once you've read the book, pass it on to your partner so he can learn how women treat each other, rather than trying to fix a problem. You'll thank me later.

[kylee2437]

Why can’t you respect the fact that he needs space? I think it’s unfair that you aren’t giving him time to cool off before he explains himself. Sometimes people need space and time to think before they speak. You are simply caring about the fact that you feel abandoned when he needs space more than you care about the fact that he is upset.

[WizzardGirl]

I give him space, i have no choice
Im ignored ofc im not forcing calling him

[WizzardGirl]

I want understand WHY
when i feel angry i need to talk it oit
I can't shut down because ill explode

[kylee2437]

You do have a choice, you just feel abandoned by how he chooses to deal with anger differently than you. Let him come to you when he’s ready. You are just creating more stress by not letting him handle himself the way he wants to

[WizzardGirl]

I am
Im not saying anything to him
He doesn't know it bothers me

[kylee2437]

Well even if it doesn’t know, maybe you should have a change of mind and come to terms that people handle anger differently and it’s not a reflection on how he feels for you. Maybe start caring about what he needs and not just how it makes you feel.

[Bklynbadboy12]

So when he isolates himself how do you feel about that

[Anonymous]

Everyone's different. When he feels better, are you able to talk to him then? Some people (women especially) like to talk (and probably the healthy way lol), but often guys want to do the complete opposite, at least initially. We just need to "process" it ourselves first. And... society teaches us this also. It's not "manly" to talk about your feelings, and that's why many guys don't. We're supposed to be "strong", and this is often viewed as "weakness". Ridiculous yes, but what we're taught by society.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, if he's angry enough, this is actually a really GOOD thing, because lots of people say, and/or do things out of anger that they regret or wish they hadn't later. So he stops himself before it gets to that point and goes and cools off. That's really smart and healthy. Sometimes women keep at someone, which only makes things worse sometimes in the moment. What I think is important here is do you talk about it later when he's cooled down? Are you able to talk about it rationally then?

[Adam1978]

So you need peace and quiet to relax and let go of any anger. So his tactics work. You don't want to be in company when you are pissed off. You are just likely to say something or do something you will regret. So leave him be and learn to not trigger him instead. Because you know the result.

[WizzardGirl]

Im not the trigger
He always gets mad at others but hevpays it with me
He says im the only person who never pisses him off
But when he is angry its me who needs to suffer from bad temper bad words etc

[Adam1978]

See it as a warning and get the fuck out of that relationship. Eventually you probably are going to start triggering him to, if regular people do it all the time.

[Staximus]

It's better than him subjecting you too his shitty mood. If you want to be there for him but he doesn't want you to be there for him, maybe you have the wrong boyfriend

[CuriousMufuxka]

That's better than lashing out and destroying things! Give the dude some time.

[maximumpower]

Maybe isolation helps him better cope with the issues.
Lots of people are like that.

[888theGreat]

better than AK-47 ing people I guess