Girlfriend gets upset over my small jokes?

[bluesoap]

So me and my girlfriend have been together for a bit. We are going through a long-distance relationship where we are 3,000 miles away. It’s not easy for either of us. We used to date over a year ago however that relationship was quite toxic and I didn’t treat her the best. We decided to start things back up again 2 months ago. Recently we have been having some issues where she is getting upset over the jokes that I make. I’m a jokey person so I don’t see that as a big deal but she does

For example, 2 weeks ago we were playing a video game together and she comments on a random player's username saying “oh I like his username it’s funny”. Trying to make a joke, I say “oh well if you love his username then you should go be with him since you seem so in love with him” obviously I don’t want her to be with him but she took it the wrong way. She got upset and I responded with “it’s just a joke. Anyone with common sense would understand “ I don’t understand why she is getting upset for these small jokes of mine.

I also sometimes also call her “crazy” as a good thing and she got upset about it. Like “Oh babe you’re so crazy” Honestly I call everything and everyone crazy, and I’m not meaning it in a bad way.

I tell my girlfriend that she just needs to chill out because our relationship won’t work if she doesn’t. She says that I don't validate her feelings but she's taking these jokes of mine too far. What do i do?

[SueShe]

The fact that you "joked" about her going with a guy just because she likes her name is indicative that there is a trust issue within your relation.

One does not just say that kind of joke without a good reason behind it. You may not have seen it as a hint that you are uncomfortable with the fact that she likes a name that relates to another male. You felt attacked in your integrity, even if you don't want to admit it. Saying that she should go with the other guy is a way for you to test her attitude towards you, mainly since you had a few issues in the past.

Try to refrain from making any allusions to other people when feelings may be involved because to her, your remark could also indicate and hint that you are insecure.

[SueShe]

... actually, it is "HIS name" in the first paragraph...

[Anonymous]

Yikes. I’ll be honest, that first joke was pretty tasteless. The “why don’t you go be with him/her then” retorts can be an eyeroll, even if you personally feel like it’s funny. It’s just not going to age well, especially considering you two are trying to work things out. Then again, everyone’s sense of humor is different, you just probably need a partner who receives your “jokes” better, or isn’t sensitive to that stuff.

[Opinion Owner]

On top of that, there is the sense of invalidation/gaslighting. Because when she felt your joke was rude, rather than apologizing you made it worse by saying that anyone with common sense could see it’s a joke, so it comes off as you saying you don’t think she has common sense. Anyway, you don’t want to have to be less of yourself if these are the jokes you like, nor tiptoe around her, which is why I say that maybe it’s time to cut ties. But regardless, I’d say to be mindful about what you say, because you know who you’re dealing with.

[SueShe]

..👍

[Anonymous]

Yeah I don't think you 2 sound like a good combination.

[Robert123456789]

My girlfriend never laughs at my black jokes.

[JamesRandiDebates]

That was a pretty stupid ass joke

[Anonymous]

don't do which she don't like