Should I bring this up or move on?

[Anonymous]

I was cleaning my boyfriends apartment while he wasn’t home and in his closet, I found a letter from a girl that was written to him during our 2 month break a year ago.

He had told me that he tried to date other people, as did I, but that it didn’t work out. I accepted this and moved on. But when I found her letter... she was talking so romantically about how their last night was so amazing laying under the stars blah blah blah.

Anyways, in a furious rage, I burned the letter. I told myself I wouldn’t let this ruin my night and it was cool. Until I kept cleaning and found his response letter. A long well written poem in which he told her he loved her. He never sent it. We started officially dating again a month later.

It made me feel really grimy and it really hurt my feelings. So I burned it too. I know I shouldn’t have burned them, let alone read them. I was just trying to organize papers and throw away things he didn’t need, as he has so much clutter and receipts and stuff from years ago.

I thought about bringing it up to him, but instead, I cooked him a delicious dinner, and acted like my usual sweet, fun loving self, reminding myself that this happened before we started actually dating and that he never actually sent the letter.

I think what hurt the most is that he’s written me so many unique poems, but reading that letter was a punch in my heart. Should I forget that I read it? He doesn’t know what I did during our time apart either and I wouldn’t want him to know, so I feel like I overstepped a boundary and getting mad or upset would be hypocritical.

[whirled_up_girl]

Well, so at least it happened during the 2 month break, so he wasn't cheating you, as far as the letter, some people have a way with words. However, it kind of sounds like she was the rebound girl and having been a rebound girl myself during somebody's break up I know those emotions can seem super intense. The person rebounding is trying to get over the ex by many times overcompensating and throwing themselves at their rebound relationship with intensity and then like in my case, they decide to go back to their ex because they really weren't over them. They were just trying to fool themselves into thinking that.

It's your choice to bring it up if you feel guilty about it but he's with you now so obviously he knows where he wants to be, it might be better not to mention it if you think it's going to cause a strain on your relationship.

[Staximus]

It was when you were not his girlfriend at the time, so it's none of your business. Do you think he loved that girl more than he loves you now? He is with you, not her. You need to let that water go under the bridge and not create a problem over something in his past that wasn't a part of your past. You especially shouldn't open your mouth if you don't want him to know what you were doing at the same time. It sounds like you actually love him. Maybe you should tell him you have a confession to make, that you found his letters and they hurt your feelings so you burned them, but you were fooling around with other guys at the time you were apart, too; so now you feel like an ass. Or you could just shut up and pretend you never saw them. If he ever asks about them, you can make your confession then.

[Asker]

That was really helpful advice! I really do love him, more than anything or anyone in the world, those letters just made me sick to my stomach. I definitely shouldn’t have burned them, it was a moment of rage and hurt and utter disgust. I shouldn’t have found them. The fact that he kept it made me feel horrible. If he asks me, I’ll come clean. But to be honest I’m not sure he even remembered that he had them

[Staximus]

He didn't send his letter in response to hers, so that means he let that relationship die to save the relationship with you

[Anonymous]

You are angry about something that he done when you weren’t even together and than you went and burned his property pretty pathetic of you do such a thing you owe it to him to own up to what you done

[PuNishant]

Who write letters these days
😂

[Anonymous]

Maybe he wrote it himself to make u jealous