I'm in my first relationship and I keep overthinking and analyzing everything that has been said/done. I just don't know what to do at this point?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my late twenties and in my first relationship ever. It's been good so far and the guy has been nice and all, though there is part of me that thinks he is being genuine and such and then there is another part of me that thinks he is just pretending to like me to get sex.

Having no prior experience in dating and such, I'm having to consult others and do research on what this or that means, why he did this or that, etc.

It is causing me anxiety and is having me come off as accustory on him. I don't know what to believe. So confused. I would communicate this to him, but then I think he'll just tell me what I want to hear and whatnot.

[Carolus]

Life isn’t linear, relationships aren’t, nobody knows about tomorrow, we just plan, hope and live for tomorrow, but, we need to be ready of a negative outcome. So, live with / have an open mind.


-Life is a risk, so is relationships and you can’t stop to live or be in a relationship in fear of a negative outcome. We cross a bridge when we get there. You can’t live in anxiety of being cheated on. Focus on good memories because shit happens.


-With great expectations comes great disappointments. Lower your expectations to lower disappointments. Don’t invest more than your partner in a relationship. If he doesn’t give you his time don’t for example, if he doesn’t want to compromise in anything, don’t.


-What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Stop digging looking for trouble. If there will be trouble, it will present itself in black and white. Shit happens remember. Stop, this scientific research and testing you are doing, screening his phone, social media, actions and whatever every talk or word means. Give him a benefit of doubt. You can’t control another human, it’s only them who can choose to be good but you can control your actions which might have an impact on their actions.


-As a woman, don’t play pussy card, the feeling some women have over their bodies of who strictly deserves it, be like, is he doing it to get into my pants questions or this cookie is for my future husband and shit. If you like someone, have an open mind of having sex and enjoying - strings unattached. There is a lot to relationships, not just sex, you need to have sex and enjoy it first, not that you are rewarding someone for being a good boy. Otherwise women who tag their cookies as the prize are greatly disappointed, because most men will lie, pretend and do all to get it. So, stop making it about sex and deny him “because he’s suspect”, if he’s doesn’t get it from you, he will get from the next. And if it happens that you fuck him and he cheats, there is nothing you can do about it, can’t get it back and can’t let it bring you down.

[exitseven]

I did the same thing. I was really insecure and expected her to dump me any minute. Try and remind yourself that this guy wants to be in a relationship with you and is not looking for any little reason to break up with you.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[boggboss]

So your in a relationship with someone u don't trust as thats the only thing that's missing here

[sufys12]

until you can prove otherwise, assume the guy is benevolent... if that didn't happen no relationship would last.

[007kingifrit]

always remember to phrase your accusations in the form of questions so they don't sound like accusations. gives him a chance to respond

[Iron_Man]

I don’t think you’re ready for a relationship

[Anonymous]

What they said