I wouldn't be forced into it. I like cooking and enjoy making food for my sweetheart. So many seem to think men are effeminate if they cook at home. In my culture men are just as likely if not more likely to cook in the kitchen than the woman traditionally speaking. Just made this today. It's a Keto friendly Taco Salad CasseroleFathead Pizza with Scallions and TomatoesTurkey Meatloaf
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That taco salad was off the hook. Dad loved it!
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I for one believe cooking has always been just as much make dominated as female dominated depending on culture. If you think it's something only women do I'd like to ask you how you think Spartans and Roman legionaries fed themselves during wartime? They preped their own meals. Cooking is apart of putting food on the table, a very "manly" activity if you ask me.
What are your views on the husband being the cook in the household?
I think it's great if he loves to cook... My husband was the one who did most of the cooking in our house.. Not because I couldn't or wouldn't, but because he loved to cook, and once he couldn't work anymore, I think it still gave him a sense of purpose. When he got too sick to cook, then I became the primary cook...
If men are effeminate for cooking at home, then what does that say about some of the top chiefs of the world who are men? Does that mean they are less of a man because they cook for a living and also at home? I'd be willing to be most if not all of the married ones are the main cooks for their household. So not, I do not think a man is effeminate for knowing how to cook or cooking at home.
In fact I'm learning how to cook because, in order of importance: 3. I'm a creative person, 2. I like the activity and ability to do so and 1. I like the idea of being able to cook something for the one's I love and care for.
In conclusion, I think husbands who cook in the household can be creative and passionate people who enjoy their craft. And if anyone says they are less of a man for honing a very useful and creative skill... well then, who is more the fool? Us with a passion to learn such an art for ourselves and our loved ones, or the naysayers for their rigidity and ignorance?
I see it here and around other gag posts. Somehow women are traditionally the cooks? Lol so stupid tbh. First off it depends on the culture and then also the era candy WHY it was that way. But for at least 150 years it's been the men in my family who cooked. And it's funny to think that made them lesser. Today so many guys act like giving your all for your girl and your family makes you a simpleton. They act like women are only good for popping babies, giving sex on demand, and cooking. How can you say you love someone if that's how you see them? No wonder they are alone and miserable and frankly they will never find a girl.
I wholeheartedly agree. Culture plays a big role in many aspects of a person's life and how they operate. Problem is we live in world where if you aren't on one side you have to be on the other. Very few accept there is a middle ground option and those who do are often ridiculed for it. I like the idea of cooking for my mom or future partner and I don't think it makes a man and less so for learning to cook for the people he loves. Will such mindsets change in time, I believe so. But until then we have to buckle down and just weather the storm until it runs out of steam.
Honestly you know what I call a grown male who can't even cook for himself? A baby. In all honesty that's some momma's boy stuff if they need to rely on others to feed themselves. Men in the past always were self sufficient. To me you can't be if you can't prep meals. When the Romans and Spartans were on the march they cooked for themselves. They didn't have women doing it for them. And so what's the alternative if they don't have a woman's? Garbage processed food. C'mon now...
I enjoy cooking and don't care if anyone else thinks it is effeminate. I also do carpentry, plumbing, electrical work, painting, roofing, and some automotive repairs.
you're such a boomer! lol and I actually mean that in a good way. My dad was the same. different set of skills though. Electrician, Fax/Copiers, Farmhand, Business Management in Agriculture, Landscaping. Yeah you all were definitely hard workers, no one can say otherwise.
my dad was none of those things either but he had sleep apnea and went undiagnosed his whole life and worked 80 hours a week. kinda caught up to him. Well wishes!
As I've just mentioned on another question, although I do consider myself to be an above average cook/bakery, my husband totally surpasses me with his amazing adventurous and creative skills in the kitchen.
There's times when I feel so frustrated and totally embarrassed.
aww you dont have to. For me though I suck at baking because I dont know my head from my behind in that regard. I often hope the girl I end up with is the baker and I'm the chef and we compliment each other in the kitchen!
A man doesn't need to learn to cook as much as a woman does in traditional family settings, but in my view cooking is a general human skill everyone should have. If a man happens to have more fun doing it, no reason to not utilize that fact. If not, he should be able to still perform the task adequately when his wife is not present, too busy with something else, or if it's simply his turn because both think its a chore, there are no children and both work. In that case there is no excuse. Context matters, but every man should be at least able if not exactly happy to do it.
I love to cook, I do so i became a chef. I really don't give a fuck about what people think about me when it comes to cooking and baking but here is a thought about middle aged men that don't/can't cook!! Oh wow how manly you are, oh wow 😊 and you can't cook? Oh wow your manly man juice is dripping every where. The food in the photos looks great 👌. Keep on cooking 👨🍳
Thanks brother! It gives me a lot of joy and it's a project. Some guys get more fulfillment getting waste deep in motor oil. That's cool, it's just not my thing. Plus living in an apt complex you can't work on your cars here anyways lol. But yeah I love creating things so writing and cooking are my creative sides.
Shit, I was the housekeeper. My ex-wife didn't do shit. She did the laundry, sometimes. I cooked, cleaned the house and did the majority of the laundry. We had a deal when it came to cooking, if she cooked I cleaned. If I cooked, I cleaned. So I did most of the cooking, since the shitty part is the cleaning. The cooking I didn't mind so much, I am a good cook and I like to cook.
@p043k3j for me personally i end it at cooking, vacuuming, shoveling, and cutting grass lol. I wash my own laundry but I LOATHE folding. I'll wash pots and pans but hate hand washing small stuff like forks and spoons and all. sounds weird but nah I can't deal with the tiny tedious items.
Your cooking looks amazing !! Good for you and lucky her 👍🏼 I’m not really good at it, I can clean like no one else though lol Growing up , my sister was our baby sitter, she was in charge of cooking and feeding us , mom always made me clean to help out. I can do basic things, I won’t make anyone starve but I welcome anyone that knows more in this arena :)
@p043k3j thank you! these are mostly my "whip up" dishes except maybe the meat loaf. that one takes a lot of time to make. But I'm totally and hopelessly single *sob* lol.
@p043k3j She was special, I can say that. She was also a tremendous narcissist and a pathological liar. She had a seedy under-life I knew nothing about. Unfortunately, I wasn't the only casualty the whole family paid for her misdeeds and I was willing to put up with it for the sake of the family. I will never forget the hurt look on my kids face when they found out what she did. It broke my heart into a million pieces, but somehow she managed to turn them against me, though I did nothing wrong. It sucks.
@t-8900 That she did. I knew it too, but I was willing to put up with it for the kids. It's the cheating I couldn't put up with. The problem is, I don't actually know how many times she did it, thinking back, I figure it was a lot. Way more than she would admit. She got caught and still managed to lie. "It wasn't me" doesn't work on men, not when I am holding 130 pages of evidence.
@floppy2112 I've never been married but I have been cheated on by 4 different women in the past and I know what that's like. what I dont know is how it is when married and with kids to boot. I honestly can't imagine it and you took it better than I would have. My only advice is to pray, seriously pray. Even when I had become completely black pilled and atheist for a while there I started reading the New Testament and praying. Even if you're not a believer just give it an honest chance and see how you feel. It might be the best decision you make.
@p043k3j Oh yeah, not to mention I adopted my son from her 'mistake' from before I met her. There is a word for a guy like me, I reckon I am beta? Or sucker. Or dumbass, or you name it. I committed fully and she, well, didn't.
I’m sorry. I hate when people use the Kids as weapons, it’s not good for the kids. I’ve been through something similar. My husband dealt with someone like this. The mother of his two kids used them both against him. She physically hurt one of them and luckily we ended up with custody, my son is now 28 and happily married and wants nothing to do with biological, I’m his mother. He loved his father very much, sister lives with mom and wanted nothing to do with my husband. He passed away without ever knowing his daughter, it broke my heart everyday. He often cried about it, it was so sad. Keep your head up, on the bright side, you are out of this toxic relationship. But the kids situation is tough, maybe one day your kids will realize the truth, don’t lose hope!
@p043k3j ah God the way you refer to him as your son and how you fully took him in almost brings tears to my eyes. That's so beautiful. You're a beautiful soul with a beautiful heart madam!
@t-8900 It's been about 3 years now. It's okay, the other guy did me a favor in the end. That poor bastard now has to deal with her and I am certain he's probably close to eating a bullet by now.
Towards the end, I loathed her. When she touched me, it made my skin crawl. I didn't know all she was up to, but I knew something was wrong... Yeah, it's the kids that made me try as hard as I did to keep it together even though I was getting railroaded everyday. It gets weirder and weirder... I got story after story after story and each gets stranger and more deranged. But I know something that she does not know. It's a nuclear bomb of a whopper. She doesn't know it yet, but I am sure she'll find out soon enough. I don't talk to her at all, so I have no reason to tell her. It's a little Karma. Its wholly deranged. And it's going to wreck her whole world when she does find out. I will tell if I know I have an audience, but I don't want to waste my breath.
I know lots of people divorce. I know most of those people have infidelity issues, but I got stories. Boy, do I have stories! And I am not confident anybody can relate, it's just too damn weird. by the way, I am an active Catholic, so yes I am 'spiritual' if you will. God and I will have a nice chat one day, He's a real practical joker, that one...
@floppy2112 under my mytakes is basically my life story but I got two parts on my love life and the second one... i think you'll see I get it tbh. Not in the context of marriage but those betrayals and the way she did me was SICK! here:
That’s horrible, I’m sorry. Don’t call yourself those things. I’m sure you loved her and you thought she loved you , but she didn’t. We always do the impossible for the people we love. It’s not wrong, it’s just what we do. Just like our friend here said, pray about it. Seriously, it does help, it calms your soul, if you don’t believe in it, then meditation. Hobbies , anything to keep your mind at ease. Keep your head up friend !
@p043k3j So here is the high level story... It's real messed up. What she does not know is that her 'saint' of a father is a pedophile. A for real, died in the wool, pedophile, court verified pedophile. She has no idea. See, he used to be a Franciscan Priest. He left under 'mysterious' circumstances and what I knew about it was I was never allowed to bring it up in front of him, talk about it or ask any questions. Well, now I know why... He was kicked out of the priesthood over multiple allegations of sexually molesting minors. This happened in Buffalo, NY a place I knew he was as a priest. The good news is that the church actually kicked him out for it, but they still covered it up. The bad news is they did not file charges against him and his records got sealed and he was able to move to Georgia. The real bad part is what he did after. He worked at high schools... with "troubled teens". All the time I knew him, he worked at high schools with troubled teens. Sometimes he would go out with these teens and be gone for days, much to the dismay of my ex-wife, but her mother had a gag order on the both of us. My ex was always really upset when it happened. I had no idea where he had went, so I didn't know what he was up to. And I was by forbidden to call the police, though I thought it was awful strange. Her mother told us that it was the teen boys that were taking him and calling the police "would make it worse."
Keep in mind this is only part of the story, there are about a million dots connecting in the midst of all this. I found out because his name got exposed, in the news paper! That's where I first found out. I was like," no way it's him"... It was and is him, I have it confirmed. The lies I have endured in my life are staggering...
Wow ! That’s crazy To your point earlier, Karma is a real B! and it will find its way back to you somehow The good news is that you are out of that toxic environment
@t-8900 I will check it out, thanks. Keep in mind, this is all a done deal. I appreciate the support, but I am passed the crying everyday, wanting to drown in whiskey everyday part. I am just telling the stories now. There are actually days I don't even think about my ex. I always think about my kids though.
@p043k3j Ha! The stories don't run out for quite some time. It was so random how I found out, it seems like I was supposed to for some reason. I hardly ever tell my life stories anymore. Most people don't care, anyway. But, when an opportune moment comes along, I don't mind sharing. It's not a secret and I can say with confidence none of it was my fault. Most people don't or won't believe that, but I know the truth, I was there. And still I am very blessed...
I LOVE IT! I’m so glad he’s taken that on. We used to share the duties but since the kids were born and since my man is a natural in the kitchen, it’s the best!
I mean, the restaurant business is dominated by men. My grandfather did the majority of the cooking and he was as manly as they get. I learned most of my cooking from him. I've never considered a man effeminate for having a valuable skill. If anything it's incredibly sexy.
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Anonymous
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+1 y
I would absolutely love a guy who cooks. Seriously, I see Mums looking so worn out and sad all the time because of the dynamics at home. Even my Mom cooks or feels compelled to cook for everyone and Dad is just pulling the I'm tired from work excuse when she works just as hard as him. I love them both but it made me realise I want a man who is involved in domestic affairs in the home, both cooking and housework. I will do my part as well. It's not a one way street. I would definitely will be turned off by a guy who does not cook/get involved with housework chores. Guys who cook at home are attractive to me because they are rare to find in my society. I'm Singaporean and cooking is definitely a Mom thing tragically.
here's a repost to another response 50/50. Basically what i would do: Cooking, Vacuuming, Lawn/Shovel, Car Wash, Oil Changes, Floors (moping), walk dogs (if applicable and she doesn't also like to) Her: Laundry/Folding, Dishes, Bathtubs, Dusting
Both do: Homework with kids, take them places they need to go, entertain the kids, watch movies with the kids, etc. Does that sound pretty fair?
It’s awesome that there are actually men who don’t expect women to do all the cooking (and cleaning). That’s not the case in my upbringing sadly... I think it shows care to your wife/girlfriend and is very helpful around the house and to the family in general. 👍👏
okay cool. I mostly cook Italian and Mexican tbh lol. I do make some Japanese dishes but not many as most of those spices aren't typically found in an Italian pantry cabinet so I have to special order. I CAN get away with some Indian though! :D
I dare not make that claim! Its good to be humble in case you get a Gordon Ramsay type who went to school for it getting all professional about it lol XD
I prefer if a man does the cooking. I'm really short and it's difficult for me to reach things, and using a step stool is dangerous for me cuz of balance issues.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I know how to cook and am able to follow recipes etc, and will on occasion rustle something up.
So yeah, if a guy likes to work in the kitchen and prefers to do the cooking, that's an A in my book!😊
Personally, I like cooking. I started to learn in part because I didn't want to have to rely on another person for me to eat well. That said, every girlfriend I've had has known how to cook lol.
So I'll cook some meals because I want to, but if someone was cooking majority of the time it was them. But every girl has known if I'm cooking they're going to love it. My pasta crushes
We both cook. She's better at German and Polish dishes. I'm better at Italian and desserts. For typical American fare, one of us is better cooking a particular dish. I do the cooking when we go camping.
I cook a couple of meals a week and mostly always have. I also do nearly all of the grilling, and there's a LOT of grilling going on.
in my opinion, cooking is something ALL adults should be able to do. You don't need to be some 5-star chef or anything, but if you can't make a dozen different dinner meals, then you probably should spend some time learning to cook. It's an invaluable skill that you really don't want to be without.
If you have an insane schedule, then you can wait, but most people have an hour a week to cook a good, simple meal, and there are great YouTube videos for anything you want to learn to cook.
Women are so lazy anymore these days. I can't even remember the last time I met a woman who was a good cook. It's like girls feel so oppressed and exploited by society if they cook. Sure. I will cook. Because I don't want burnt instant macaroni every night for three weeks. Thank you very much
My dad loves to cook and actually owned a restaurant at a certain point. So I grew up with him cooking. In my household, my wife cooks. Cooking while being a necessity is an act of nurturing. Women tend to be more nurturing than men, so women usually end up cooking. Hence why the gender role stereotype exist.
I husband is excellent cook. He has his favorites he’s very good at making, and genuinely enjoys grilling and smoking. He can be a little bit slower than me, but he also cleans up as he goes which is kind of nice. One family favorite is homemade pot pies
I used to love fried Plantains before I had to give them up. I would fry unripe ones in coconut oil, salt them in the pan, then serve with a side of ketchup and malt vinegar blended together. so good!
It's not that a man is effeminate for cooking. It's that he's probably being a sucker if he does all of the cooking, for reasons I've explained in multiple MyTakes about feminists and the games they play to get more out of a relationship than they give.
So there were lots of suckers in Italy for hundreds of years. It happens. I'll give you an example... a woman who say she doesn't know how to cook & lets the guy do all of the cooking. Then one day a relative she wants to impress is visiting & suddenly she knows how to cook. I wasn't saying that being a male cook is feminine in any way tho. The best cooks in the world are men, after all.
well you would have to extend it to pretty much all of Southern Europe really. We are a different culture. It's not like women didn't work too. what you described was a liar in the scenario of a woman. Not every girl is a pathological liar like that. Plus there are things I would never want to do like laundry, folding clothes, breast feeding/birthing, grocery shopping, cleaning dishes, etc. But I like cooking, vacuuming, and doing the lawn/shoveling. So its not like I'd be taken advantage of.
Right, I wasn't saying every woman. But I still think there's suckers in Italy and other parts of Europe. Not all men, but some. It's the nature of things. "So its not like I'd be taken advantage of." -- Bro, I have some lawn you can mow for me...
yes I'm the same way. I cook the girl cleans. i think household should be broken up 50/50. Basically what i would do: Cooking, Vacuuming, Lawn/Shovel, Car Wash, Oil Changes, Floors (moping), walk dogs (if applicable and she doesn't also like to) Her: Laundry/Folding, Dishes, Bathtubs, Dusting
Both do: Homework with kids, take them places they need to go, entertain the kids, watch movies with the kids, etc. Does that sound pretty fair?
i actually suck at baking tbh. I mean I can bake chicken, ribs, etc. But desserts? forget about it! I'd need someone else doing that aspect lol. And when I get married I can settle down just a tad and enjoy some sweets now and then again maybe. I'd love to have some high quality, homemade cream filled donuts with the angel cream or some tasty Lemon, Pumpkin, or Apple pies or cherry cheesecake! ^^
I mean i CANNOT bake tbh. And there are certain ethnic cuisines I could be completely ignorant on. If she wants to jump in or take over sometimes thats cool. I mean I do have times I cannot cook. I could get sick or be aching from work too. Alternating works.
I cook mostly Italian and Mexican with the occasional Indian or Japanese dish. That's basically where it ends for me though lol. I love other foods but don't know how to make them.
I like cooking and I'm good at it and married someone that I am now separated from but I had to teach her to cook and she never did learn very well so most times I've done almost all the cooking. So I guess to me it would be pretty much normal but it's supposed to be a partnership half and half
