My boyfriend took me for granted, I never spoke up, & now he is dating someone else. I can't stop crying. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Hey all, I had a relationship last year where I felt a bit that my boyfriend definitely took me for granted. He never made me a priority, almost never wanted to spend time w/me, and only showed affection like once a month. When we were together he was always on his phone, & he only wanted to see me like once a week (was always busy/on trips/with friends), at the end usually just to hook up. I finally spoke up & he was confused that I was unhappy, he hadn't known I was unhappy, but I am extremely shy so it was hard for me to speak up throughout relationship/make demands. I was also confused a lot by his behavior.

Now 4 months later he is dating a new girl & they post pics together, go to concerts, go do everything together. I feel so horrible inside that I was never able to speak what I needed. I feel completely shriveled. Why does this girl get everything? I was so sweet to him, wanted to spend time with him, attentive. I was just quiet, I didn't know what to do. I was constantly suggesting things for us to do together, but he never ever wanted to come.

I really do cry all of the time now, as they live just down the street from me. She is younger than me/more stylish. I fear I won't find someone for awhile. My self esteem is quite low now, & I am so jealous and sad. I really didn't know what to do, so it hurts me incredibly bad. I've just never been in a situation like this before? Didn't know what to do.

I'm normally able to speak up & speak my mind, but I just couldn't in this relationship for some reason? What do I do? My self esteem really & truly is low, & hearing about them from my mutual friends hurts my heart so bad. He lives just down the street from me. I really do hurt inside. For some reason, that relationship made me extremely sensitive. I am scared that he loves her more/she's speaking up more than me? It still hurts so bad..

[Anonymous]

Im in the same situation right now. I feel for you so much; and i truly understand.
It did seem like he was taking you for granted or just didn’t feel a connection for some reason. maybe he doesn’t like the “sweet, soft spoken, shy” girls.
I don’t know, you will never be able to know his reasonings and that’s the hardest part. I know that you will find someone for you and someone who will love you better and make you feel comfortable when speaking up. you deserve it. I know it’s difficult, it’s always going to be difficult seeing someone you once loved, move on to someone else and treat them how you wanted to be treated. Give yourself some time to build self confidence, it will make you feel better and more open to speak up when unhappy.
Im sending all my love to you, sweetheart. :(

[Opinion Owner]

:(((*

[lonestar_01]

If what you say is genuinely true, then I wouldn't give him another moments thought. This is life for young people when dating. Very rarely do people now find life partners unless they are beyond their late 20s and early 30s in many cases. The important thing to remember is that he took you for granted, that is his fault. You cannot help how you are, and personally as a young man in your age range I prefer the quieter and more sophisticated type of girl, to the randy and outspoken party type. Your best medicine is to move on, block him off of everything and take time to be with yourself. There is life outside of him, be strong young lady, you have a lot going for you and you don't even realise it! Don't waste anymore of your life thinking and crying over someone who clearly didn't care to begin with

[BonnieBoo]

Firstly I’d like to send you a massive hug 🤗 I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this at the moment. Second I’d just try forgetting about him get yourself out there. Me personally when this happened to me I had a makeover new hair style colour etc. This had my ex begging for me back. I didn’t go back because he made me feel like sh! t on his shoes. Trust me darling he is not worth your time.

[Shygirl80s]

I have to agree with the other commentator that noted dating when you were Young can be very cruel. I would hope that you find somebody who asks you what you would like to do, but also find the courage to speak up and share your passion or interest with somebody that you care about and want to spend time with. It’s better to be told “no I don’t like that”! than to have never spoken at all

[Asker]

Thank you!😍this was so kind. I feel confident that I did share my passions & interests with him, so that’s good. I was always telling him about my projects or day or cool stuff. guess I could use more courage & that’s probably it. Thank you so much!!

[Shygirl80s]

You are very welcome! We all have struggles no matter what point we are at in a relationship.

[pleasestopthis]

Why does this girl get everything? I was so sweet to him, wanted to spend time with him, attentive.

This is isn't your fault. It seems that he wasn't that invested in the relationship from the very beginning, and unfortunately there are people like that who will waste other people's time.
Don't beat yourself up too harshly, and try to let go. He didn't deserve your time anyways.