What's one way to know a man is future faking vs when it's for real?

[SallyF]

Several men will say things women want to hear. They will even promise eternal love and a family but it's all a lie, part of their act in keeping her and then dumping her when she's useless; making her waste her youth. They are mainly narcissists and players that are future faking. They get another girlfriend, convince her to live together and tell her the same fake promises of marriage and a family.

On another side there are the serious men that really want a family and do as promise. My male cousin is one; he was just 23 when he got engaged. Now he's 31 (still married) and has two kids. He still does as promise, even on little things. Ex: If he said ''I'll be there at 5 pm''... he's right there knocking on your door by 4:50 pm; punctual on even time.

But honestly, how can a woman tell early on whether a boyfriend is a future faker or family oriented like my cousin? My cousin is also romantic (the future fakers are say romantic things too) so how to distinguish between them?

Updates

+1 y

How to tell between a liar that springs along women vs a real man that will settle down and does as promised.

[caring__1]

The main reason you can't tell is this could go two different directions. Yes, there are liars and users out there, but there are also men who are truly interested in committing, and declare that fact, only to discover the woman isn't the person he believed her to be. It's not necessarily that she lied or withheld information... though that can occur. He could have thought he was able to deal with certain aspects, only to discover he wasn't able to deal with them. Relationships are too complex to declare there is a formula that will predict which relationships will succeed and which won't.

Your best way to increase your odds is to prioritize clear, open, honest communication from the start. Don't avoid key issues. When people are being dishonest, it's usually easier to trip them up with this type of communication from the start... before you start investing. Once the investment starts, our vision tends to get clouded, and we're more likely to see what we want to see than what actually exists.

[SallyF]

It's hard to tell them. Lovebombers like doing that, bomb you with their ''I love you, I'll be with you forever, I'll marry you'', etc and the girl feels swept off her feet... only to realize it's all a lie. The real romantic guys that want a family also say ''I love you'' at some point.

[caring__1]

Seek clarification, and don't settle for vague generalities, and you'll find it easier to separate one from the other. Most people are not very good at lying. If they appear too smooth, that's probably a red flag.

[Anonymous]

You seem to think there are men who go into a long-term relationship with a woman with the intention of dumping her once he is done with her. That is largely bullshit. No man is going to move in with a woman he doesn't want to believe he has a future with.

That doesn't mean he won't decide later that they don't have a future together after some long-term experience with her, but assuming that was his intention all along is just silly.

[SallyF]

Yet the longer they stay together in a long-term relationship (over 5 years for example) and he's vague about the topic of forming a family or says ''one day'', the more likely it's never going to happen by then.

[Opinion Owner]

Nonsense. I challenge you to provide a shred of proof to back up that claim.

[SallyF]

It's the simple reason that it shouldn't be taking 5+ years to decide if you want to have a family with them or not. If they're still unsure after several years, then something is wrong and it's pointless by then. Unless neither of them want a family and are happy like that ok but if not... it's a dead-end by then.

[Opinion Owner]

What you just wrote there is very different than a man going into a long-term relationship knowing it will never go anywhere but pretending he believes it will. That just doesn't happen.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If I knew the answer to this I'd be married by now, but usually the best way is to not put out, users get tired and bored and move on to someone else.

If they are doing a long term relationship while using, they probably have a side act going on somewhere.

At some point though we just have to trust him, even if the worst is going to happen. Put our hearts on the line and hope for the best.

[boggboss]

U can't really if he is lying about things u can't catch him om it's simply a roll of the dice

[SallyF]

True. I guess the girl just got lucky with my cousin. He hates those guys too. I asked him that question once and this is the only thing he said. If a guy frequently says ''I love you'' in an exaggerated way (over the top... too much) or is too good to be true then he's a liar.

[boggboss]

See thats the thing tho saying I love u in a exaggerated way wpuld be sont to perspective but things being too good to be true is a good bet

[noohair]

It is hard in this anti-social media world. And I have found that women miss out on the good guys because they are waiting for something that does not exist.