Why do some single fathers, still mess around with their babymama?

[Erica686]

Like, I get, if they're in separation, and they don't have a bad relationship with each other, but yet they DON'T see eye to eye on certain things. To, many reasons, why there not together. So for the sake of there child, they still raise Them. It's call co-parenting. But anyways, there has also been a few guys that I have met, here and there. And they call themselves a single father. But as time go on. I always find out that they're still involved with their baby mom or living with them and there is still the possibility, that there still sleeping with them. Like, If they still have love for these women or some type of attachment to these women. who is raising there children. Then, why not work on things between you and that person, instead of leading others on. ? But what's y'all advice?

[Slartybartfast]

Most of my friends are single dad's.

None of them see their ex, in fact one raised two daughters that weren't even his when she abandoned them.

Another got a restraining order so she can't be around.

A third got arrested at work for non payment of child support (even though he had both the children and the mother hadn't seen them in over a decade he had to pay her) he was living at my house with his kids for over a year when he got publicly arrested and handcuffed at work because of an error he was $17.00 behind.. he doesn't the weekend in jail, for$17 while having both children %100 of the time for twelve years.

This is how absurd and misandrus the family court is.

[Erica686]

And damn sorry to hear about your friend! He was going through it all wasn't he. Yeah, the guy that I know: he is also paying child's support. Like he make decent money and this is his very first child. You would think that he would be on top of things. Smh

[spartan55]

Here we are again. The answer is the same reason he hits you up, free easy sex...

[Erica686]

But if he's with her or have some type of attachments to her. Then why not just fuck and be with her. 🤔🤔

[spartan55]

You just don't/won't get it, even after being told 867,246,135 times... you are either in denial, or stupid, or both.

[spartan55]

Why are you claiming he lied to you all those years. That's very misleading.

[Erica686]

Bc he lead me on.. And I guess I saw the red flags but I ignored them. 😒😒😊. Then he promise me stuff, that I actually thought it was actually going to happened. No he didn't put a gun to my head and force me to stay. But he definitely did trip about me leaving. Smh. But also- the times that he would go MIA. He would either A date around or talk with others. No other particular time a few years ago. I didn't really care about being with him. But it was the inconsistency, that started to be an issue for me. And the times he apologize he always assumed inside that I was the one cheating and seeing other people. When it was him. 😒😒. He lied about being single. Like, bro you know that's so much up. Does sob mean when it start being honest years later. It wasn't just about other girls he lied to me about other stuff. SMFH

[spartan55]

So he told you that you were in a committed relationship? For you to think that an friends with benefits was a real relationship is on you. He can promise the moon, take you to dinner, take you to Paris, it doesn't matter. Unless you are in a committed relationship you know what you are signing up for. You never should have agreed to it to begin with.

[Erica686]

Facts. And sex was NEVER suppose to happen between him and I. LIKE NEVER... BUT HE pressured me a little too back in 2014. And when we had SEX. It was suppose to be a 1 time thing. :( And I do recall I remember I told him no matter what happens we were friends first of all things so don't start to get crazy. And he promise me and said oh I won't. Then weeks later we back at it again. Remind you, I never once came to him about sex- until years later when I started to feel a bit more comfortable. But that was like only 3-4 times. So

[Erica686]

But your right. I can't blame him. I shouldn't continue, regardless of what he said

[scentoflavender]

People are flawed. People do things that fit their idea of the situation theyre in.

[Erica686]

Fasts. So sad

[Wonderer12]

Sometimes they just don't work well togther om the Dailey but have a mutual feeling towards each other in the bedroom

[Erica686]

So is it just the sex- could they actually still love this person too?

[Wonderer12]

That depends on the situation and how they ending things if there was no deliberate reason for ending things besides just not getting along there still good be.

[Erica686]

And also. Why get involved with other people. Like, I can't refer this to everybody to every guy. But I was involved with this guy for about eight years on and off physically and somewhat romantically. But that year in 2016 when we had our very first big argument I had to cut things off with him. Of course I was hurting upset because some words was being said from both ends. But get this when him and I met back in the year of 2014, he will make assumptions and start assuming that I was seeing and sleeping around with other people. It was like in the middle of 2014 then that continued into the next year and the next year. So anyways fast-forwarding when he was blocked and also my social medias something told me to search his name. And I saw him and some girl and a photo and it said happy one year anniversary baby. And this picture was taken back in 2014. Then 2016 he announced to the public in his friends that him is such a such was pregnant and they was having a baby. Then in 2017 he had his first child which was a boy. Congratulations to them both. But eight years he strangled me alone and made promises that never did happen or he kept. But I feel like it's my fault because he did say his life was a little bit complicated as well. But yet, why lie to an innocent person someone you barely don't even know about having a secret relationship going on but then still wanting keep me around for the sake of sex. Like I said there was feelings in both ends. And I never once bothered this man about a relationship. But the simple fact is that he really think or thought that he was going to continue to sleep with me through many years and no commitment. Oh No

[Wonderer12]

Unfortunately you can only belive what is said to you until proven otherwise. It's not your fault in the least. It seems you were caring and trusting and that what you do when you start to build a relationship with someone (relationship label aside) he should have been up front with you. If it was just a physical thing he should have let you know and then you could have made the decision if you wanted to continue or not but to take that descion away from you is just wrong. As for accessing you of sleeping with other people. One if you weren't in a relationship you should be allowed to if you were one. And honost but it seems like he was saying that because of his own wrong doings and insecurities

[Erica686]

And then when the question was asked, to him back in 2020 of last year I asked him what he ever consider dating me. And he told me he would. He's like the moment that he tried to come close he said how I was involved with someone and messing around with someone. But yet I feel like, that was excused. And the crazy thing is when I was involving myself with him I was just involved with just him as far as sexually and feelings. I mean of course I like the other guys and talked to them. But I'm not the type of chick who sleeps around with multiple people. If your wood is good enough for me then it's good enough for me. But the simple fact is like I said he lied to me for years. I didn't start liking him until like a year later in 2015 but it was like the more that we was being intimate things that's when I started to notice something was changing about my feelings for him. It was just pure lust at first on my end. But then I end up catching feelings for him. Into the simple fact that we're not sleeping together anymore because of these lies and secrets that I had to find out and I continue to keep finding out. I have experienced this amount of love for him that's crazy ridiculous. But again I realize that I have to protect myself regardless about my feelings. That's why I had to cut my ties and finally end things with him. And I realize when he would be coming in my a he probably was seeing other chicks. But also he was still sleeping with his baby mom. And no he didn't force a gun to my head and force me to stay that was a choice that I made. But he also didn't make things a little complicated for me to leave. And it was always this on and off type of thing that we had which wasn't helping either. But anyways it's just a simple fact is that he has lied to me 4/8 years about his secret relationship with his baby mom. Of course he was going to lose me in the process if he told me the truth. But now I must be honest me finding out like this he has lost me forever. Sooo

[Wonderer12]

Youbhave to do what's right for you, there are other guys out there you just have to be up front with them and they have to do the same in return keep your head up we aren't all bad

[Erica686]

Oh absolutely that's why I decided to walk away. But so many lies. 😒

[Wonderer12]

It's hard a know but I promise you. You will the right guy who puts you first

[Wonderer12]

And as you say "wood is good enough for you "

[Erica686]

Right. Like I wanted to be with him back in 2018. But he just wanted SEX smh. But your right, and I did the RIGHT thing by cutting him off. And also Thank You!! 😊😊

[Wonderer12]

Not a problem if you want to chat up more feel free to hit the dms

[Erica686]

😊😊🙏

[Wonderer12]

Followed you

[Erica686]

Thank You

[jasco]

Pleasure and love are different for men at least that's what everyone else says. Honestly men can fuck with women all day and not love them at all. Women from what other people say tend to love first pleasure later. Ofc not everyone is the same

[TheSpaceGnome]

Probably because they gained a sense that most people don't want to be with someone who had kids with someone else, so mending things with the ex is their best bet to not be alone forever.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Same reason why single mothers mess around with their baby daddy (ies)

[Erica686]

Well I don't know if it's true or not. But some say, they are with the father's for the money- if it's included.

[noohair]

I believe it is an ancient characteristic of the male caveman brain, and we have not evolved out of it or mastered it on an intellectual basis.

[Erica686]

It has to be.

[emperor90]

They might not get along and that they might have mutual feelings

[Erica686]

Fasts big facts

[Wise4myage]

Because she's an easy lay?

[Anonymous]

Its because they are homeless. They are bums

[Erica686]

Right. Well according to this time he has his own place which he lied to me about. But he is paying child support and I don't think that his money is tight at the moment.

[Opinion Owner]

he's a liar. .. how many times you gonna let him lie to you. You know the truth already. Set him free and go be happy somewhere else.

[Erica686]

I did.. I cut him like a free days ago

[Jamie05rhs]

It's because she has a vagina.

[LegendaryIcon]

the girl lets them stay in her life

[Flower7]

Easy access.

[Erica686]

... Smh... Smh.. ..