Would you dump your boyfriend if he brought up how pretty his celeb crush is mid-argument and made you feel bad about how you look?

[rachvartannn]

Hi guys,
my boyfriend (24M) and I (26F) were arguing a while back and got into a pretty bad argument, I was pissed that he had this video game character as his computer background (her name is yoto hime in case you wanna look it up) due to the sexualized character even though I know it's just cartoon I felt disrespected, the fight blew up into a big one and then he said "remember when you asked who my celebrity crush is? It was Kate Beckinsale, I thought she was hot and pretty at the time" I found this to be such a disgusting thing to do, argument or not but especially considering it was during us bickering he took a shot at me and said "I can physically do better than you, you said you would be skinny and perfect by now" (I know, disgusting thing to tell your partner), and especially considering he knew I was trying to lose weight and get into better shape like I was before I met him (which I have now succeeded in doing by the way but his comment still rattles me even though he has since tried to take it back and say oh I didn't mean it, blah blah) I found it cruel that he said what he did. What do you guys think, was this a jerk move?

[Buntyp]

Why are you putting yourself through this misery? If you're not happy, getting the better of an idiot over a stupid issue is not going to be any help, at all.
He's a moron and a mean one, at that. Time to think of yourself, because you can definitely do better than that cretin.

[rachvartannn]

Oh also recently he was like I told you like five times I don’t wanna be with you then he just told me he didn’t mean it a day later then today I pushed his buttons and he’s back to I don’t wanna be with you and I made a paranoid comment about him cheating and he said “I’m about to” then said he didn’t mean it wtf

[Buntyp]

There is a point where you become the one to blame for your misery, if you don't stop punishing yourself by letting him mistreat you.

[rachvartannn]

I agree with that completely I am finally starting to see reality rather than assuming he’s who he acted in the beginning, I’ve been mistreated enough to know his true nature now. You are right

[RedStiletto88]

I mean it isn’t uncommon to have celebrity fantasy crushes but no one deserves to spoken to like that.


If a guy told me he could do better than me, I’d tell him to go on then and we were done.

[Gingerguy33]

I feel like it’s constant with this guy he’s definitely a narcissist not only that he likes to bring up stuff that isn’t even related to the argument just to make you feel bad about yourself I wouldn’t put up with his 💩 personally..

[rachvartannn]

It worked too cus now I can’t stop thinking about how my big nose and I will never be as pretty as Kate beckinsale. I know some people call others a narc to be dramatic but he’s acted way worse than this believe it or not and given me silent treatment when mad, called me stupid, put me down constantly generally and during our latest fight he said “I’ve tried to tell you like five times I don’t wanna be with you forever you don’t listen” and THE NEXT DAY he was like that didn’t happen, just forget it, I didn’t mean it—is that not psycho?

[Gingerguy33]

Ya he sounds like a narc and If i were you I would’ve broken up with him after he said he didn’t wanna be with you forever I don’t care how mad he is someone who actually loves and cares about you he wouldn’t have said anything like that to you ever and then the Kate Backinsale comment is just stupid..

[rachvartannn]

Yeah I’m pulling the plug he somehow expects me to want to move in with him soon lol like I don’t care how mad you are you don’t say those things to someone it’s just not ok it’s emotional abuse in my book

[rachvartannn]

Sorry for reply bombing you but you also spotted his narcissism so that makes your opinion extra valuable to me, so we just talked and he was referencing me talking about my ex forever ago and having trust issues because of that guy and he said “I’ve said a lot of nasty shit to you why are you still here” and I said “should I be paranoid that you’d cheat on me?” And he goes “I’m about to” like nah. I’m done that’s not ok the fact he even said that then he tried to take it back and say he didn’t mean it and wouldn’t actually YOU SAID IT WTF DO YOU MEAN

[Gingerguy33]

Naw that’s alright that’s why I’m here! And there ya go another 🚩 he shouldn’t even be bringing that stuff up to you even if he was joking..

[rachvartannn]

so im currently blocked again lol but knowing his pattern I bet he is going to try to call me later tonight or something with the "im sorry I didn't mean it", right? seems that way cus that is what he tends to do. i am at the point where I am tired of being mistreated and hope he calls me later just so i can do what I've never done and let it keep ringing. id rather date someone who even at their angriest point would say "i would never cheat on you i love you". he showed me his true character.

[Gingerguy33]

I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if he did and I don’t blame ya one bit if I was in your shoes I would be doing the same love isn’t treating your SO like garbage love is even when the going is tough you push through with your SO and you love them for who they are not who they aren’t..

[OlderAndWiser]

Ask him, "If you didn't mean it, then why did you say it?"

[rachvartannn]

totally agree. would also appreciate ur opinion on my question prior to this one, he may just be a dud.

[Chris9087]

I didn't hear the entire argument or what things you may have said to him, but either way his comments were very shallow. When you love your partner you're supposed to show it. He should want you as you are, just my opinion.

[sensible27]

Communicate if you care,