Am I being not understanding enough?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is from a traditional ethnic family (19 yes old). I'm Caucasian. Last night we had an argument because for our 6 months and Valentine's day I made him a collage of us and gifted him a picture frame with our picture turned into watercolour. He said he didn't feel comfortable putting them both up right now and he would only put one up. I asked how come and he said because he didn't want his parents to think it was too much. I got a bit upset with him, not necessarily specifically about this, but about a accumulation of things. The fact that he only ever calls me when they aren't home or around, that when he first got the collage he said he would like to wait to put that one up too for a while, that he wanted to remove a photo of us kissing so that his parents wouldn't see it, that we went to a wedding and did one of those pop up photo booths and took some pictures his mum asked if he could see them and showed us hers but he changed the subject. He said he does love it but just wants me to understand that he doesn't want his parents to make any comments or think we are moving too fast or say he is spending too much time with me. He asked me to please understand and that he just doesn't feel comfortable right now. I understand because I never want to make him feel uncomfortable or pressured but I don't know how to express to him a way he will understand that the accumulation makes me feel like he is trying to hide/down play our relationship a little bit...

[yucychan]

But the thing is, he is trying to hide the relationship, which is why he is doing the things that he is doing.
However, I can kind of get it if he is concern about his parents knowing. You can be the understanding girlfriend but that is with the condition that he explains his situation and difficulties clearly.
Is it because his parents do not want him to date anyone outside his race? How about his ex-gfs? Did they also show the same objections or what? What exact comments will they make if they know you are his girlfriend? Does his parents only want him to date or have a girlfriend after he starts working or is stable enough?
Your boyfriend expects you to be understanding and seems to want you to wait for the right time. But when is this right time? 1 year from now, 2 years or 5 years?

I think you need to know all of this before you can decide whether or not this relationship is worth continuing. Just to let you know, my perception of traditional ethnic families is that sometimes the parents would have already selected a to-be girlfriend/boyfriend for their children.
Warning signals are when your boyfriend also tries to hide the fact that you two are in a relationship with his friends, colleagues or classmates, other people etc. Just ensure that there is no third party involved.
Wish you the best of luck in your relationship.

[kmg9150]

Some parents are still old school. I kept the PDA to a minimal when around her parents. But that was more me than her parents, not cool to suck face infront of them. Think of it this way, he dont want his parents dictating his relationships, so he doesn't reveal everything. Its also not typical of a guy to boast about those things. Its not something you brag about to your friends, doesn't mean we dont care though.

[Petermorgan3434]

Sounds like he has toxic parents and they need to evolve out of their “ethnic” culture and accept that their som is in love. Even ethnic cultures need to evolve or they will die out. He also needs to grow a pair too, you need to take care of yourself first (He needs to take care of himself above his parents wishes) before culture. Otherwise we stagnate as a human race, and are miserable.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what a “traditional ethnic family” is. You could just as easily be from a “traditional” family and be Caucasian.

By the way, it’s okay to be White.

[888theGreat]

well you marry the family too. What would say if you had a baby?

[luvstoned4him]

Is his family super religious?