Cheaters: is it polyamory that you want or a one-sided monogamous relationship?

[Cherrylicious]

I asked this question because I think most people ESPECIALLY MEN who claim to want a serious committed relationship only to cheat on their spouse/partner sooner or later really don't want what they're asking for because I believe it takes away the thrill of sneaking around that makes cheating no longer fun especially if they grant their partner permission to date other people.

But men are notorious for this behavior because I've been a witness of this myself. I've watched MY OWN BROTHER cheat on his then girlfriend many times in our home yet will hack her e-mails, confront and belittle her for cheating on him after he just fucked some random girl he barely knows in our house 2 weeks ago.

I've watched a movie where throughout the entire movie, the man's girlfriend were continuously calling him out on his infidelity with many women he knew (with accurate evidence) despite how much it angered and hurt her the only response he gave to her was that although he does love and want to be with her that he will occasionally sleep with other women from time to time and telling her to accept it but later on in the movie he gets angry and upset when he discovers that she has been talking to an ex-boyfriend who was incarcerated and accusing her of dating him while they two are in a relationship. And I know that this is just only a movie but this type of stuff happens in real life because I have seen it many times.

I'm not saying that everyone is a hypocritical cheater I'm just asking this question because a lot of times hypocrisy and selfish reasons are the reason why most people cheat in my opinion.

[MrOracle]

Here's something you will notice over time: the people who are most concerned with their partner cheating - the ones who stalk, hack accounts, grill their partner over being 5 minutes late, etc. - are almost always cheaters themselves. Likewise, people who constantly worry about their partner stealing their money are likely to be the very people who steal from their partner (or partner's family or friends).

These are people who are VERY entitled - who feel they DESERVE whatever they want, regardless of the expense to others, but also expect everyone else to sacrifice for them. Many of them have this entitlement because they ARE attractive in some way on the surface - good-looking, or wealthy, or "connected", etc., but some were just spoiled by awful parents who taught them that they were just "better" or "more special" than other people.

It needs to be remembered that such people are a relatively small subset of the overall population - BUT they tend to make up a huge percentage of what most people would consider the Top 5% of people - the rich and beautiful; the ones who look so attractive on Instagram.

In that way, it's pretty easy to avoid the majority of this group by simply avoiding the Top 5%. That's not to say that these traits can't be found at all in the lower 95% - certainly it exists there too, but it's FAR less common relative to that population as whole. It's also usually pretty easy to screen for if you are paying attention. To be sure, they'll be on their best behavior with YOU at the beginning of a relationship, but they almost always let their true colors show when interacting with "underlings" - wait staff, customer service people, assistants, etc. If they treat these people poorly, that's a massive red flag, and you can bet that they'll soon be treating you the same way.

[Citizenkirk]

I don't believe in the existence of a one-sided monogamous relationship. If two people can't commit to each other with the exclusion of all others, then they are not in the monogamous relationship. I don't believe that men or women are any more guilty of cheating than the opposite gender is. Monogamy is a two-way street, and if you're not faithful, then you're not monogamous.

[Citizenkirk]

Thanks for MHG

[loveslongnails]

I tend to agree that you're describing typical male behavior on the subject. What's good for the male goose isn't necessarily good for his girlfriend or wife! LOL

Men seem to have this hypocritical position:
"I SHOULD be jealous and angry if my girl fucks someone else because women aren't made like that. But women should understand that men NEED to fuck others because men ARE made like that."

It's biology's fault - sound about right?

[bamesjond0069]

one-sided monogamous relationship exactly this. But im not a douche bag. My girlfriend knows and accepts this. I dont sneak around on her.