Do you believe there is someone out there for everyone or no? Why or why not?

[Lucy68]

[crmoore]

I think there are MANY people out there for someone. Statistically speaking it seems like a near guarantee. Even if you're only compatible with 0.01% of the earth's population, that's still seventy-nine MILLION people.

[Cubus]

That thought gives me hope

[Cubus]

Thank you for Most Helpful

[Cynicaldreamer]

Absolutely not.

And before some of you downvote me, think about it from a logical perspective: if there truly was someone out there for everyone, why is it some people go their entire lives without finding love or getting in a relationship? This is assuming they are putting in the effort to find a relationship or want one.

I don't care what anyone says, unfortunately looks are a basis for dating, and if you're deemed as "unattractive" by society, dating is much harder for you. Also, account for other factors such as: mental health, personality, disabilities, location, age, etc...

Now yes, it can be an individual's fault they are single as well, such as poor self esteem, poor or lack of communication and social skills, not taking care of his or herself- factors such as that can be fixed if said individual puts in the time and effort to improve one's self. But even then, some of us will probably go our entire lives single-

... depressing, isn't it? But being single isn't the end of the world.

[Star_88]

Nice to read your answer again. I want a childless marriage so it's even more difficult for me to find true love where my husband will be loyal to me forever. I feel I'm degenerate because I tend to keep people forever in my life but they end up changing. Why am I not like others? It hurts a lot because I love preserving friendships and relationships forever. It's too easy to preserve permanently if both are willing. But it's impossible to keep it when other finds excuses to break a relationship.

[Star_88]

By last line I meant friendship. A male bestie betrayed me for 4 years.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I've dated people way out of my league and I've been way out of the league of people I dated.

Unless you're just straight up ugly (and even then, you have a chance) there's thousands of people you could be compatible with.

There are 8billion people in the world. I have a hard time finding people who are genuinely different from eachother most places I go.

Also it's about being willing to do the work necessary to have a relationship with someone. Even in the perfect marriage on TV, it takes a massive amount of patience, understanding and ability to change.

Man, I don't mean to come off as abrasive here but in the interest of trying to be helpful I really have a problem with this mentality. I think it's a big part of why dating is going through trouble right now. People don't seem to even know what a relationship actually is.

It's not depressing, it's not ALL about looks. This is how you see things because of how you've interpreted things which have happened in your life. It sounds like you never had someone to show you a better way of looking at things so you can work on yourself. Which is something we all should be doing constantly.

[Phoenix-gb]

@Telekinetic-Potato Think I have to side with @Cynicaldreamer on this one, though might be down to similar experiences. Despite having many female friends who say there's nothing wrong with me, I've never been deemed good enough in the dating world to land any relationship and some might say at 35, my time is pretty much up.

I want a relationship, a partner and a family, to be wanted by someone despite my flaws and because of what those friends see. But I am at best, average, in the looks department and pose no threat (in dating, being safe counts as boring apparently) so no-one want's to know romantically or sexually as a result.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@Phoenix-gb so what you're telling me is that you never have the opportunity to talk with someone who might have more in common with you than some of the other people you've asked out? You've gotten feedback from the people who rejected or left you or from friends and took it to heart to do something about it?

Can you honestly say that anyone put in your shoes would have ended up the same way? That you're single solely because of things you have no control over?

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Star_88 Hi!
I'm still around, I've just been so busy with my new position at work, I'm too tired to and busy to respond on here like I used to.

As for you-
You're a good person. For some reason, those with a good heart tend to get hurt moreso than others. That's why you need to be careful who you let into your life.

Nowadays I have issues letting people into my life, friendship or more, as people have a tendency to disappoint you- intentional or not.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Phoenix-gb "Despite having many female friends who say there's nothing wrong with me, I've never been deemed good enough in the dating world to land any relationship..."
THIS. Only reverse the gender for me. I have no issue making guy friends, heck guys love me.. as a friend. But not a girlfriend. I'm that safe person they can confide in, yet for whatever reason, I'm not "their type." 🙄

And yes, that's their choice, but after YEARS of being friendzoned, it can get demoralizing. Have you asked your close friends specifically why they wouldn't date you? You might not like the answer, but it might give you some insight as to how others view you, from a romantic perspective

[Star_88]

Thank you. I had a male bestie who LEGIT LIED about his intentions of being "just friends". He said we can rarely meet due to distance and he wanted more. I was baffled because distance don't matter to me at all. He thought I wasn't getting romantically interested in him just through calls and there were rare chances to meet so he gave up. I GOT ANNOYED the most that he 'PLAYED the act of being just friends'. He should have been clear about his intentions and I wouldn't have friendzoned him but instead would have let him go because I know it's wrong to keep people hanging in friendzone. But in this case I had no idea. He convinced me that he wanted only friendship but now he revealed his true colors. I wasted my time so much and felt betrayed.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Telekinetic-Potato
"I've dated people way out of my league and I've been way out of the league of people I dated." Can't say I've had that experience sir. My past experiences have been, "Oh, someone actually likes me? Let me give him a chance..." Only for said relationship to be an epic fail. Thankfully I outgrew dating out of desperation.

"It sounds like you never had someone to show you a better way of looking at things so you can work on yourself. Which is something we all should be doing constantly." I can admit that. My past relationships as I said were... a fiasco. Add in unrequited crushes, being ghosted by guys I thought wanted me, and being friendzoned? Did nothing for my self esteem and confidence in terms of dating.

That's why I took a hiatus from the dating scene. I'm focusing on ME and my happiness, not someone else

[Phoenix-gb]

@Cynicaldreamer Closest I got was they said it would feel forced, but this was at the same time they were trying to go after someone else anyway, so probably wasn't even on their radar. I just usually get that they'd love to meet someone "like" me, or just to stop worrying and that it will happen.

I'm assuming it's down to the fact that I'm overweight, but as people love to point out at those with body image issues, there's plenty of people larger than me with partners, some even objectively attractive, so the only other thing I can think is it's my depression (ironically due to being lonely and rejected so many times) and I'm not masking it as well as I think I am when I go out or try to socialise.

[KingofCups]

@Cynicaldreamer yes looks are important to dating, probably #1. The truth is most people are attractive if they are in good health. The problem is most people are in terrible condition, poor health, no consistent exercise, meditation, goals or vision for their lives. They are just getting by. You have to put in the effort as you said, to be an attractive person.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Star_88 See, that was HIM playing games! Totally not your fault. He should have just been upfront about how he felt about you, or if/when he realized he liked you instead of lying to you.
Now you lost a friend and someone you invested your time and energy into getting to know.

In the future, when you meet anyone, ask them upfront do they want friendship or more!!! That way you know where you stand from the getgo to avoid future drama and heartache.

[Cynicaldreamer]

@Phoenix-gb "Closest I got was they said it would feel forced, but this was at the same time they were trying to go after someone else anyway, so probably wasn't even on their radar. I just usually get that they'd love to meet someone "like" me..."
Translation: they're not attracted to you in that way. There: I said what your friends are too nice to say. Not being mean; I rather be upfront with you than sugarcoat it for you.

With that being said, don't feel bad. I'm thinking it could be your self esteem and lack of confidence. I'm no prize by any means, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but they're probably sensing you don't see yourself as attractive or confident. Work on that! If you're not happy with your weight? Lose weight.
Let one of your girl friends you do trust practice with you on flirting and approaching females and ask for REAL feedback on how to talk to and interact with females!

[Cynicaldreamer]

@KingofCups "yes looks are important to dating, probably #1. The truth is most people are attractive if they are in good health. The problem is most people are in terrible condition, poor health, no consistent exercise, meditation, goals or vision for their lives. They are just getting by. You have to put in the effort as you said, to be an attractive person" Exactly! Thank you sir! As much as I don't like it, it is the truth: humans are superficial creatures. That is why I actively workout regularly, take care of my body and health, have good hygiene... not for a partner, but just to look and feel good about myself. Once you build up some confidence and self esteem, you give off an aura that draws people to you- not just dating, but friendships, work relationships, etc.

[Phoenix-gb]

Pretty much what I expected, and if it's self esteem and confidence that's the issue then I might as well give up now, that comes from success. If I felt someone liked me that way and acted on it, I would be more confident and feel better about myself, so it ends up a vicious cycle.

Some people just aren't confident, why should that mean they're left alone to feel even worse about themselves?

[KingofCups]

@Phoenix-gb Confidence is a skill and an attribute. You can improve it, you just have to practice. Place more value in yourself, believe in your potential, speak with dignity. How do people can't run a mile in under 10 min, take that time to sub 6? Practice, Repition, Visioning, Determination. People assume intelligence is some limited metric isolated to how much you read ot math and computational skills. You have to develop social intelligence and emotional intelligence. It's not impossible.

[Phoenix-gb]

@KingofCups I know I have value, it's just value no-one else wants, believing any different isn't confidence it's arrogance. I already treat everyone I come across with dignity and have no issues making friends, so if you're arguing that I'm some social outcast then I would beg to differ.

I've done my share of trying to act confident without basis and it pushed me to feeling worse rather than better because it didn't work, so just reinforced the knowledge that for whatever reason I'm never good enough. Had it been successful, a different lesson would have been learned, hence confidence coming from success.

[2021biguy]

@Star_88 I agree with how you feel.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@Star_88 but it sounds like he was just trying to avoid exactly what ended up happening as soon as you found out he liked you. You're saying he told you he wanted to be friends and then you found out he wanted more so you decided you couldn't even be friends? And the worst part is that you guys are attacking him. Not everyone knows what they want from someone as soon as they meet. It's hard to tell the difference between lust and love and as a guy, it usually starts out as lust.

I mean that's how basically every relationship I've ever been in started. As a friendship. If you're saying what I think you're saying, it's not a healthy outlook. But I could be misinterpreting your story.

[Star_88]

@Telekinetic-Potato hey hey, no. I told him that I'll never break this friendship. It was HIS CHOICE. Then I got disappointed that why did he say 'we're friends forever'? I dislike it when people say what they don't mean.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think everyone has a different path and not all women or men are meant for marriage while others are clearly meant for marriage, you have a lot of in between people who can choose either to marry or to stay single, and you have others clearly meant for one or the other. I think God told me in a dream, He would give me a husband only after I got my relationship with God sorted out, and if I got married before that, it would interfere with my purpose in life because it would alter who I am meant to be as a person and cloud my judgment.

[Desconhecida]

It's possible however not everyone is lucky enough to find their "someone".

[OpenClose]

Not really. There are generally more young men than young women, so there's a man for every woman, but not a woman for every man. Homosexuality helps with this imbalance a bit.

In China, it is way worse because of a combination of child limit policies and super dated ideas on who can carry on a family legacy. So probably half the men in China will die single.

So I think "there's someone for everyone" was written by a woman. In the same way "just live your life and relationships will just show up" had to have been written by a woman.

I'm not saying all this out of vitriol. Just that most of the romantic, idealistic advice is coming from people with plenty. Sort of like rich people saying "money doesn't matter".

You look on the other side and the outlooks and narratives become notably less optimistic. That life is only a series of competitions until you die. That you'll never be successful if you are concerned with others, because success involves just taking what's yours. That there are only leaders and followers. Only "alpha males" and "beta males" (a little weird if you know your primatology). That "nobody remembers who got silver, so you're either first or you don't matter". A lot of "you'll never get laid with that attitude" or "you're probably some lowly virgin". Etc. On and on and on.

I think it's why guys chill way TF out when they're in a relationship. They get to dump a decent amount of that.

[MCheetah]

Of course there isn't! I'm living proof of that! Hell, even if you went strictly by math and assumed 100% of women were straight and WANTED to get with a man no matter what, the sheer inequality in numbers would mean some men would STILL end up dying alone, as in the West, there are more men than women. And this isn't taking into account all the lesbians/"bisexual", trannies, and polyamorous trash out there that no self-respecting straight man would want to be in a relationship with.

So no; there simply is not someone for everyone. Not mathematically, not socially, and definitely not in today's turd-infested dating pool.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Some people don't want someone lolz... My red pill argument would be yeah, just put in the effort and you'll get someone (look maxing, bux maxing, gym maxing, etc). My black pill argument would be if you're just not born with the looks, height, or enough drive to seek it out or find that someone... it probably won't happen and you should just stick to the things you enjoy doing instead of pinning over someone, because who knows, someone might end up popping up due to your own interests.

I don't believe in magical thinking though, so I'd say bottom line, some people are not going to find anyone.

[Heartache0405]

No. I do not believe the is someone out there for everyone.


People die, people have multiple partners these days. People already have children.


People go through life never married and die without having any kids. I believe I will be that type of individual and I am perfectly fine with that. Especially because of the way society and women my age are today. They may not all be the same but a vast majority of them share the same mindset when it comes to things I am strongly against. The select few that share my values are already involved and are actually loyal and work things out when things go bad. Meaning I’ll never get a chance and that’s fine. I’ve accepted that after 7 years of being alone. It’s become peaceful to be alone these days

[Nigjt]

Yes I do believe in that very very much it's just so Damn hard to find them these day's because of all the scam artist an fake people out there these day's.
I do guarantee if I find a Woman who will be mine an truly come to me on her own so wait a second because there very much is a difference between on your own and by yourself I'm saying not by yourself if you have kids but on your own meaning you pay for your own ticket to get to me prove to me in this way u want to be with me at lest that much then when u get here we can see if it will work then an only then.
God Bless

[TwinTonyz]

No chance. This is one of those lies people with severe flaws tell themselves, or others tell them, to cope with the idea that they are unwanted.

Unless you are growing your own food, you must conform to people around you.

No such fate or plan is in motion which will bring exactly who you want kneeling at your feet. It's apt of you to either rise to the expectations of those you desire, or lower your standards to those who desire you.

[nitsuj86]

No, there are some people that just got dealt a shit hand, and nothing they do will change that.

Now, that is not a lot of people, less than 1%. But it proves the "someone for everyone" theory wrong.

But it could also be true that the person thinks they deserve something which they do not, so they overlook their "true" one for the one they THINK is it. Trippy man.

[MakeUpModel91]

I personally think yes. I have had some quite bad relationships in the past with the complete wrong guys. I just recently met someone who I have completely clicked with. I have never experienced feelings like the ones I have for him. I believe we were meant to be unfortunately there are reasons we can't be together right now. But yes I do believe.

[Chlo3_2001]

Sometimes all we need is ourselves. Yes, we are social people and we need love, community, belonging, to be held, etc. But sometimes the person out there for everyone is ourselves. We live for ourselves (as in being our own love and our own friend) and a relationship can add to and compliment that. I do think souls can connect and form meaningful relationships in various ways throughout our lives and each teach us something though.

[Phoenix-gb]

Statistically there should be more than one person someone would be compatible with, but getting to the actual meaning of what you're asking, I loose hope on a daily basis.

I used to think it would be something that would happen, but now, after a life of nothing but being rejected as not good enough, almost all hope is gone.

[theeliigilbert]

Absolutely, it’s not always to go out and find them but some will have a better chance finding us at the most unexpected moment we never saw coming. I have met a few girls who have found their way to me as they never expected it themselves and there on it shows how good it is.

[gfedcba]

No, because I want a woman who values, prefers & even seeks to minimize time with her phone (handheld computer) as much as possible & focus on not multitasking, but one-to-one connection & have yet to find a woman, anywhere, single or in a relationship, in existence, who fulfills this criteria.

[NiListicIntelectual]

No, there's no one out there for me, I have very bad social anxiety, so even if I get close to someone (which is near impossible anyways)
I always end up pulling away out of fear of judgement or annoying them... So it's impossible to be anything other than alone

[NiListicIntelectual]

Even if I met someone who was perfect for me and just like me... I'd never even know because I'd be too scared to talk to her if I ever came across her

[JustiReno]

Not in this life sorry gotta make your dreams come true god not gonna do it for you nobody ever made no money sleeping in, sitting on the porch and no one ever got a girl deriding women online or wanking it to anime

[InferiorElegy]

I know for a fact there isn't, just because there are more females in the world then males doesn't mean every guy has anyone out there for them. Moreso guys that look like me won't ever find someone, we'll die alone while being told how ugly we are almost daily.

[DizzyDesii]

Yes but it doesn't mean the person out there for you is what you're attracted to lmao. So it doesn't mean you have to get with em but at least know there's someone for everyone 🤣

[Anonymous]

As someone with low self esteem, lack of communication and social skills I can say there is not someone out there for everyoneAsk yourself what woman would date a guy like that? There reality is no woman, every woman would find it unattractive and repulsive

[slatyb]

I don’t. Some people are too F’d up to be in a successful partnership. With some help they might be able to change that, but first they have to admit they have a problem.

[Harleigh90]

Definitely. Explains why so many people split up, divorce, cheat etc.

[ChrisMaster69]

@harleigh90 Aisling, Anam Cara

[Harleigh90]

@ChrisMaster69 Aisling, mo grà

[ChrisMaster69]

@harleigh90 tu mo grà

[Harleigh90]

@ChrisMaster69 tu mo aisling, tu mo croì, tu mo saoirse

[ChrisMaster69]

@harleigh90 mo chuisle mo chroi, anam cúpla,

[ohshee]

Well whether there is or is not it doesn't really matter because I know for me I'll keep searching until I find her

[Adam1978]

There's many for most of us, but some people are so fucked up that there is no one for them and that's on them.

[20yearsolder]

I do, but I think there's more than one. Some people say they're looking for that special one person,

[Mark987]

I think so but I find now people rush to fall in love with being in love when they aren't that is why divorces are so high. Then again I have seen couples divorce after 20-25 years I don't really know how to answer that question

[Anonymous]

I really lost a hope. I mean.. if you want sex then go ahead but if you want serious relationship, then there is no one. I mean they get together because of money and sex otherwise there is no hope. I think everyone look for something but nothing is really.

[DaveToo]

There is. Why? Because they exist. If you miss the opportunity it's because you either set your standards too high, (Bridget Bordeau or someone similar), or you were too damn busy to see them.

[chulo1992]

I understand about people setting standards too high. For me, it's not about setting high standards but more about, I know what I want and don't want. That comes from many decades of dating many women. When I was very young, it was all about the hook ups. Now that I'm older, I need common interests, undeniable chemistry, connection and vibes.

[DaveToo]

@chulo1992 Perfect explanation.

[Quigly]

Happily ever after is complete Fiction.

The problem isn't Personality chemistry. It's institutional corruption and fraud.

Materialism is the death of love. Most relationships fail over money

[Anonymous]

Yeah, though some fit with so few that they never find them/get to be with them. It is also a question of luck, meeting the person at a time where you are both single and open to it.

[ShaTTeredMasterpeace]

Nah. Not anymore. I believe some people are just meant to be alone.

[JSmuve]

No, I don't believe so. And if there was someone, the odds of you meeting that person are barely above 0%.

[RealMarek]

There are no guarantees in life. During periods of social decline or war, the reality is that many people never manage to find a mate.

[GingerGuy]

Yes, but that doesn't mean you'll find them, or that they will be single and looking also.

[genericname85]

I think there's plenty of people out there for everyone. Though finding those is the big challenge we all struggle with.

[DownIndaDumpz]

no, there's not a single girl in the whole world that could love me... If there was... There wouldn't be a reason for me to take my life this year

[DownIndaDumpz]

I'm jus too unnatracrtive personality wise

[sensible27]

.. hope you're not serious

[DownIndaDumpz]

@sensible27 lol actually I don't I said that comment a few minutes after I was rejected yet again, I have no plans to do what I said there so probably won't take my life this year lol jus ignore that

[Icybread]

I do. You never know what will happen next in life so might as well try to be optimistic about your future.

[cth96190]

No, there is not someone for everyone.
There is nobody for me. Never has been, never will be.

[yoitschita]

No. People die alone every day. The idea that there is a "person" for anyone is just stupid. That's not to say no one is deserving of love it's just that some people won't find it. It's the unfortunate truth

[TheSpaceGnome]

There are probably several hundred thousand matches for each person, but I'm guessing.

[MikeTheBartender]

No... I've been with a lot of women and find more happiness with being solo or casually dating.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, there is someone for everyone out there. Why if you shall ask, you shall receive?

[Vegasrunner]

There are plenty of people out there for everyone. The belief in the "one" is part of the Disney fairytale culture that's used to sell to suckers.

[Anonymous]

Statistically speaking there is. But whether there is is determined by 1. Your marketability. And 2. The effort you're willing to put forth to find and keep that person.

[Omar5881]

Statistically no … comparability uhmmm like 80% yeah and the compatibility percentage diminishes alone the line

[Paul09]

Well apparently so. I've been single for most of my life. FML

[aquamarine321]

Yes I do believe that, just as how there is a stick for every broom

[zagor]

No. But there are multiple people out there for most people.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

That’s like if I believed there are still some dinosaurs that haven’t been found yet

[Jamie05rhs]

There might be. I'm not going to say there isn't. There are billions of people in the world.

[Balbal]

Someone for everyone I believe so even if he is a pure asshole.

[Tiger288]

I don't believe someone for everybody I'm one of them never have girlfriend

[McKellar]

I can honestly say I don't know about that question anymore.

[Waldoe]

I believe that... I also believe there is another one.. and another one... and...

[driven159]

Yes, there is someone for everybody, but you have to cross paths that relies on luck

[IsoUser]

I certainly believe that there is someone out there for everyone

[Guslove]

Yes I do there’s always someone for everyone!!! Believe it or not there a awesome guy out there right now looking for that certain person!!😊😊

[sattii2607]

I would believe there is someone special out there for each one of us.

[DaphneDarling176]

No I have given up on love and romance or men finding me irresistible. It’s all stupid anyways.

[Wilhelmstrasse]

If there was someone for everyone incels wouldn't exist