Boyfriend won't lend me money unless I sign a contract?

[Anonymous]

So I've been doing a small side business selling scented candles I make myself and it's doing really well, I sell them at a local market every second weekend and I sell out every single time, and I always get orders from people to bring next time, everyone has always paid, a few people have asked me if I Can do larger orders so I've decided to expand my business.

My boyfriend of a year makes VERY good money and has a lot of investments so I asked him for a business loan of $5000, and he said he can lend it to me, BUT, he wants to see my business plan AND I have to sign a contract, saying when repayments will start, how much I will pay minimum and when I expect to pay it off.

I'm really hurt and offended by this because it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me, but he says this is just smart business and that a bank would make it even harder, and we had a big fight about it and he ended it with "this is my offer, take it or leave it"

Surely if he loved and trusted me he'd just loan me the money without all the other crap? (tbh, I feel if he really loved me he wouldn't even ask for it back)

[Anonymous]

Expecting him to just give you $5,000 dollars for free is just selfish and entitled. The fact that you feel like he should give you a large sum of money and are mad that he actually wants to get his money back shows that you don't have pure intentions. If you wanted to be with him for the right reasons, you wouldn't even ask or expect money from him. You wouldn't want use him for money, you would not want to burden him with paying for your business. I love my girlfriend more than anything but I wouldn't pay for things if she demanded or expected me to pay. I am not a bank and I deserve to be with someone who loves me, not my money. If my girlfriend cared about my feelings and didn't expect for me to buy her things, I would love her for being selfless and willingly offer to help her financially. If she demanded I give her money I would know her intentions were not genuine and she cared about my money more than me. I would dump anyone who demanded money from me because I can't stand selfish people. He knows that you have selfish intentions and is being smart with his answer. There is a good chance of you guys breaking up considering you seem to prioritize money over your boyfriend. It is really inconsiderate to ask people for money when it is not an absolutely a dire situation. He knew your intentions and didn't want to risk wasting $5,000 on a possible future ex girlfriend. You don't even desperately need the money, you just want it. He isn't wrong for actually having self respect.

[Anonymous]

This is why many people don't lend money to family and friends. The difference here is he's taking ALL emotion out of this and this to him is purely a business transaction (the fact that you are his partner is irrelevant). My suggestion to you, because this is already "a thing/issue" and he hasn't even lent it to you yet, find another loan from a bank or something. Don't involve him. It could end up becoming a problem and why risk it. Just forget you even brought it up and find another way and continue your relationship.

[Subarugirl]

Okay hold on just a damn minuet, you asked for a business loan and this is how business loans are done. Then you are upset because you feel like he should just give you five thousand dollars. Personally I think it is a really stupid idea to borrow money from your boyfriend for your business especially since you don't understand the basics of what a business loan is. It sounds like you boyfriend does well financially because he doesn't make stupid financial decisions, like loaning money to someone without a contract.

[TrueConfection]

It's business. I don't care how much money he has, $5000 is a lot to lend. He has every right to ask for these conditions without it offending you. If he didn't trust you, he wouldn't lend it at all. If you fully intend to pay it back because you know you'll make that money, signing the promissory note and showing him your plan should be easy.

[SaoirseS]

Your boyfriend has a point. If you’re going to treat him like a bank, he should treat you as a bank would. Business is business.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Exactly what I was going to say.

[Datboi65]

Smart man. I don't blame him one bit. If you were one bit rational, you would realize that people change around money, so it makes sense why he wants to protect his business interests. The "he doesn't love me" argument is irrational and dumb. Take his offer, or figure it out on your own.

[jasco]

All is fair in business. Your boyfriend loves you but this is money were talking about. I could see if it were a couple hundred but that's thousands. That's a huge risk he's taking when giving you that kinda money. It's not a loan you can easily pay back over a short time either. So honestly he has every right now to lend it to you unless you plan to sign that contract

[Levin]

The last sentence that says it all. It's called entitlement.

You believe you should be basically paid and given free money by virtue of having a magical wonder pussy.

Business and relationships don't go well together.

[msc545]

Your boyfriend is smart to take precautions given that you really think for some reason he should just give it to you.

He was not smart in that he didn't refuse you to begin with and tell you it would not be good for the relationship.

Just do as he suggested and go to a bank for a loan, or forget about it.

[Mofunfour20]

If you're offended that he is being responsible with his money then you shouldn't get the loan. You arnt even qualified to understand good business methods. Be offended then, you're already acting like an ignorant 🤡

[noohair]

I am with him on this. You want to be a business woman but you want favors. Go to a bank first and then you might appreciate the fact that you have someone kind enough to help you. Act like an adult here.

[Anonymous]

As a wealthy guy myself he’s got sense. Stop looking at him like a bank. His terms will be much better than if you were to loan this money from other sources. You sound pretty ungrateful. Maybe he wants you to not rely on him and stand on your own two feet.

[bamesjond0069]

"tbh, I feel if he really loved me he wouldn't even ask for it back" he obviously knows you and your lying cheating ways and wants to make sure you pay it back. Tbh u feel he should just dump you.

[Luopio27]

Never mix love with business or money with friendship.

[Anonymous]

It's a natural reaction to feel hurt or offended. But honestly, what he's doing is smart. My family and I watch a lot of court cases and not making a contract can easily lead to things getting ugly. It happens way more than you think.

[EnglishEuropean]

I wouldn't trust anyone with $5k (or UK equivalent). You're lucky to get an interest-free loan, believe me.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Bull fucking shit! If you're going to make up a story, be more interesting.

[Luckycharms12]

People that got money are normally most tight people you will meet

[Anonymous]

Buisness is Buisness