Feeling trapped but am I really?

[Anonymous]

so I'm a stay at home mom. I don't drive cause I'm terrified. I have no income. I cook and Clean. I have the kids with me 24/7... so it feels. I love my boyfriend so fkn much but its getting to the point where it hurts to love him. I used to live on my own. Have 2 jobs. Take the bus everywhere/enjoyed my freedom. But now it's like I have to ask permission to go somewhere. Ask if I can have spending money like a little kid asking for allowance. Before I wouldn't take any shit for any guy but my boyfriend lately he's been acting so horrible to me. When we fight I get told bitch fuck you. If I cry then I'm too sensitive and he doesn't know how much longer he can stand that so he says. His mom passed away this past January and it's like he's mad at the world and taking it out on me. I feel like I don't deserve this but i know he's hurting. He tells me he's sorry and that I'm the love of his life but why does he treat me so bad? If I leave I can go back home to my moms but no job/money to support me and kids. No baby sitter cause moms never home. I'm scared if I leave when he tells me to like always that ill actually lose him and I want my kids to have the happy family life. But I'm so lost. Along with post partum depression I'm getting treated like shit. I don't know what to do. My mind is like fuck this and my heart is like keep trying the man you love is still in there somewhere. I don't know what to do 😩

[TheMajesticKing777]

Communicate with him, tell him that he is treating you bad sometimes and you know he is going through a hard time, you are trying to love him but the way he treats you concerns you a lot and that you want to support him with what he is going through but he is making it hard by pushing you away with his behavior, thing is he can react in two ways, the healthy way by accepting his wrongs and it will open his eyes that he is pushing the woman that loves him or he will be toxic about it, he will get mad and possibly scream at you even more, thing is that you don't gotta break up with him but you can move back to your mother's and let him feel how it feels to be alone for a while cause clearly he has forgotten, either ways it will be good for him cause you are giving him space, you shouldn't tolerate how he treats you and after simply trying to communicate (how any healthy relationship should) and he doesn't want to cooperate then you have the right to not want to be around him in that state, even more concerning for the child, I'm sure he stresses with bills as well, tell him you want to get a job to help support with everything, even selling on a online marketplace and make a bit a money can at least help you put some food on the table.

[caring__1]

Find a therapist who can help you move beyond your post-partum depression and regain confidence in yourself. Being a stay-at-home mom can be challenging to a person's self-esteem. To build our self-esteem, we need to challenge ourselves and gain a sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately, that can be hard for a stay-at-home mom, as nothing ever gets finished. When you think you've finished, it's time to start doing the same thing all over again. Find something you can do to bring in extra income, so you don't have to beg your partner for money. This will also help you challenge yourself and build your self-esteem.

Hopefully, the therapist you choose is also qualified to teach you and your boyfriend effective communication skills. Most issues presented by people to their therapists are generally more related to dysfunctional communication skills than whatever issue is being presented.

[JoyGirl]

Every relationship has its rocky moments, and you guys are currently at a rocky moment. He lost his mum recently, and you are going through postpartum depression. Communicate with him, and let him know how you feel. Let him know you want to get through the rocky moment with him, and that you both have to be willing to make changes.
You, dear, need to find something to do, besides only staying at home. There is nothing wrong with being a stay at home mum, but you can work a small part time job. It doesn’t have to be long hours, just 20 hours a weeks. You also need to find an outside activity to engage in. I am sure that there are some activities you can do, where your children are also welcome.

You gotta learn to drive, girl. If not, then looks like you will have to take your children with you on the bus, if you want to get out more.

Also, you and your boo can try couples therapy. :)

[too_hot2handle]

In my humble opinion I should say don't try to be what you are trying to be in fact just be. Well, first things first. When he says you are the love of his life, believe him. He is going through a trauma, a difficult time, you have to understand this. If you are really the love of his life, who do you think will understand him better than you? You have to help him get over this. He lost his mom in January and he's still hurt and unable to get over it and he's lashing out on you. Once you fix this, hell be back and he will keep on loving you the way he used to love you and maybe more. You don't have to worry about paying the bills or working jobs whatever you are doing is good and already wonderful. Peace.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

This a phase it will pass , if his mother death has been recent then don't take that to heart , be supportive at this moment.

But if it's not recent , then take no shit or else it's like allowing him to be his punching bag.

Set his mind straight , if he asks you to leave then leave for 2weeks , let him know how hard it's to control kids and manage home.

He will then understand your role in his life and importance donot contact him for those days

Let him miss you , and understand your value.

Us men have bad habit of taking things for granted we loose the sight of your good doings.

In that case we are really horrible i understand that.

But know that your with is not in money but in your values.

Being said that you must have some skills that can earn you money a part time buisness.

Do some jobs like data entry sone companies offer work from home for that or anything that could earn you the house rent at least.

[EnglishEuropean]

Go back to your mom and take the kids with you. As a single mom you can get support to raise the kids, and you can get a job when they're older.