My boyfriend has autism a little , no social, hard to explain emotions somethings I just dont understand it. Someone tips?

[Anonymous]

Not spontanius, no conversation most of the time. Want a lot free time for himself. Problems in the relationship is sometimes very hard, he not always understand me. His love language is fysical touch. Can someone give me tips? I cry sometimes because i just dont know what to do...

[SueShe]

A relation with a person that has autism requires a lot of patience because of autistic people, relations as you understand them are practically impossible.

Depending on the severity of the autism (level 1 to 3), the approach to the person is different. Do you know what level your boyfriend is?

If he is level 1, then your chances are best to live an almost normal life except for the problems you describe. Levels 2 and 3 will require a constant attention and those people with autism level 2-3 (ASD2 and ASD3), a new relation is very difficult to establish.

From your explanations, I presume he has ASD level 1. For those people, they require a lot of repetitive actions for them to understand. He will feel uncomfortable in large crowds and avoid social gatherings.

This is a challenging situation you have invested in and they require permanent supervision for everything that is out of their ordinary.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your respond, this was very helpfull

[SueShe]

You are welcome. Good luck with your relation :-)

[custard83]

Took me many hours in counseling to learn how to talk about emotions and mushy stuff. I still struggle with it. Maybe I am autistic and didn't know it. But sounds like your boyfriend is same as me.
Don't cry cause he can't do something you can do. Use his physicality in a positive way. You can touch without the touch being sexual. Just learn a system of touching hands. They way you grasp, or lightly poke, or caress each other's hands could be its own langugage

[ArrowheadSW]

Interesting. What kind of life events got you to go to counseling over this? I can talk to people about their emotions but not if it goes overboard. There is a point at which I "don't get it"... LOL... And I am not real good at expressing my own emotions to someone who I am dating.

[Asker]

Yes that really sounds like him. He love to cuddle but always need to poke me for no reason. He is not really good with words, but when i am more physical to him, touchy, he really likes it and i can see he tries to speak with words like i love you. I know when we are in big crowds a d i touch his back he feels more comfortable.

[worldscolide]

I am married to an autistic woman. We have been together for 9 years. I am happy to help. Something to note, just like NT (neurotypical) people, people with autism are all different. There are some commonalities, but there is a reason that they call it a spectrum.

[Asker]

Thank you. He is not diganosed or anything. He just tells me i am different i feel it when i am at work or with friends. I realy would like your help. Maybe some tips?

[worldscolide]

First, if possible, encourage him to get diagnosed. When my wife got her diagnosis, it was a major aha moment for her.

Can you tell me a little about him? Give me a run down on how he is and the like

Right now the biggest piece of advice I can give you is to have patience. Do research into aspergers syndrome. It's one of the first things I did with my wife.

[Asker]

Can you send me a private message?

[worldscolide]

are you that person that just added me? if So, I can definitely do that..

[Avicenna]

That’s typical for someone on the spectrum

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know talk to a specialist about it