Should you ask your partner to delete their ex on social media?

Question

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

I guess it depends on how much of an issue their ex is.

My boyfriend still follows his last ex girlfriend. They are on decent terms. They don’t talk, hang out, or really even look at each others social media. She knows that me and my boyfriend are dating, and she respects us and doesn’t do anything that would be of a concern. That’s good, I am fine with that. It did made me jealous at first but I realized that it’s normal/common for some people to remain “in touch” with their exes after the breakup.

See, if she was disrespectful towards us, if they talked consistently, if they hung out, and if they did things that made me uncomfortable… I would ask my boyfriend to delete/block their ex from their social media. That’s where I would consider it an issue in the relationship and I would either A. Try and fix the issue (he blocks her, or I talk with her), B. Accept it and not do anything about it, or C. Breakup because I don’t want to have to deal with it.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

As per usual, it depends. If they are being secretive about it or lying about it---that would make me extremely uncomfortable. I don't know how effective asking or demanding they delete their ex would go over, but that would bother me. If they were honest about it and weren't like trying to hide their phone if it happens to be out, then whatever. Ex's are/were a part of their life and you don't have to get rid of every part of your past to date me as long as you are over them in any sort of romantic/sexual way.

ChiTown33 · Accepted Answer

If you have good reason for it. Common sense applies in this case. I have friend who's divorced from a wife of 9 years. But they split on good terms. I know he would NEVER cheat on his current girlfriend. And it apparently isn't a problem in their relationship. But I also recognize this isn't every relationship.
Basically what I'm saying is I think it's totally fair to ask a partner to delete their ex on social media. Keep in mind the asker has to remember that everytime they ask something of this nature shows a little lack of trust on their part. And trust is very important in a relationship. So keep that in mind.

ohshee · Accepted Answer

I guess if you're insecure you should probably do that but there's no really any reason to do it a person that is afraid that they might lose their partner to their EX she probably not be with that person anyway if that's the way they feel because that means they have trust issues they don't need a social media to communicate there are phones there's a lot of different ways so if it's going to happen it's going to happen
If you do not trust and believe in your partner then why are you with them

Brainsbeforebeauty · Answer

No, not if it's something I have to ask him to do... He either does it or he don't.. if it came to a point where it was a problem, then we'd address it then..

Seinna · Answer

Depends... I usually don't care. But if that ex is causing problems, is contacting him despite them not being friends then yes, in that case I might. It depends if my partner is transparent about it or not, but if not then they are the problem and not the ex.

JamesDiaz11 · Answer

Yes, they should delete their ex.

I had this issue come up with my last relationship, and it was fairly early on. I just let her know that even if it had been a couple years, and regardless of their contact she should delete him.

It's disrespectful.

melanieeeB · Answer

No it's not my place to do so, mostly someone will remove their ex already by themselves tho and if not, it depends on the ex and the situation (either they're still obsessed- reason to break up or they said they stayed friends and that's about it- no problem for me)

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

I want them to keep it, I don't want them to delete their history. Hell I don't want to ask them to do it cause they will want me to do it.

That is when I was on social media, I voluntarily got off over two years ago, so nothing to delete at all... its all deleted.

meetkitty123 · Answer

I guess it depends if there are any issues or drama between them on social media.
I am still "friends" with mine because we share a kid. Anything regarding the child we share /tag the other. Such as school science fair, field trips lost a tooth etc. It keeps us from having to text. However I block him from things I dont care sharing with him as he does me. For some regarding co-parenting stuff it works. But I stay out of his business and he stays out of mine.

TrueConfection · Answer

My husband and I stay off of social media. We've looked people up on Facebook for fun and found HIS ex following multiple family members of his. We both found that disturbing and as a result we don't share much with those family members anymore. I'm not sure why they would allow it since they don't know her from Eve.

Lliam · Answer

No. You don't have much of a relationship if you don't trust your partner's loyalty.
I remained friends with several of my exes. My current ones weren't jealous.

I also wonder how a person would know what's on their partner's social media. Neither my wife nor I look at each other's, even though we could if we wanted to. It would be creepy to do so just to spy.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Depends on the ex really. My boyfriend is still friends with his ex and I am with mine as well. Don't remember it ever having been a issue yet

ShaTTeredMasterpeace · Answer

Didn't vote because options are weird. But nah, if I'm with someone then I obviously trust them. I'm not the type to keep my partner from having friends. Now if they give me reason to question thing, then we'll talk about it.

NathanDavis · Answer

I have never asked them stuff like that, and it has never been an issue before, some of my exes were good friends with their exes... and so am I

also, most, if not all of my exes didn't have social media or they never ever used it that much

DizzyDesii · Answer

I shouldn't have to ask. But i also wouldn't want to date someone whos still frequently active on such platforms: i think its okay to keep pics of exes but in a device or book that you no longer use

Subarugirl · Answer

I don't need to ask him because it's not an issue. I'm not insecure about my relationship...

dustybiker · Answer

Nobody I know likes social media. Generation priavcy.

Adam1978 · Answer

Well if they don't have kids they should be exes, I would prefer a partner that doesn't use social media at all. But that isn't my call if they do and I start a relationship with them anyway.

Claudia233 · Answer

I would never do that. He is either with me or not. If he is still into his ex I'd tell him to hit the road. And if it's only her still looking for something more it's entirely her problem.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I vote A.  what is the purpose of maintaining any “friendship” in social media or in real life with an ex?

omnivert · Answer

Her life her rules as individual, but I think if that ex of hers irritates her then I am willing to say to disconnect him from life.
Which will be a great idea in my opinion.
I thin k she is smart enough to recognize that.

AviatorTom · Answer

No... that should be his decision. You shouldn't try to control him, just like he shouldn't try to control you.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Shouldn’t have to ask. They should have already done so long before starting anything new with someone else. Otherwise, they’re clearly not ready for anything new

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Well this weighs between asking and infiltrating. With that out of the way comes the reaction of deleting.. She would completely hate losing platform status over the untimely death of her ex. He didn't comment much anyway.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Depends on circumstances, more tricky if kids involved.  But in general I would usually expect someone not to be following an ex.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I mean I don't know why you would still have you ex added on your social media /= that's kinda a red flag.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

If my partner keeps their ex on social media then I will also be another ex.

HighValue · Answer

Friends with an ex = I won't date her. No contact at all is my rule. I follow that rule too.

Frenchteacher · Answer

No, that's controlling. You can have a conversation about it and get a sense of the situation between them and their ex, and let them know what you're comfortable with, but I wouldn't like to be told to delete an ex if we were still on good terms.

Anonymous · Answer

No, people can be friends with their exes, does not have to be an issue at all.. I can name my parents.. so glad they still get along so well

blissinanarchy1 · Answer

Anybody you slept with before needs to be in the past.

sp33d · Answer

Am I required to keep tabs on her social media and act like a paranoid teenager because she is talking to other boys? Fuck's sake..

Anonymous · Answer

Social media... whenever I think of it I imagine a bunch of middle school kids poking fun of each other online. And unfortunately this transitions over to the adults. Disgusting!

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't think you need to delete exes if they stay in their lane.

OddBeMe · Answer

Tough one. If they seem overly attached, yeah. But I’m still friends with my exes. Was friends before.

007kingifrit · Answer

yea you're not mature enough to date if you still have your ex on social media

legalboxers · Answer

there's probably a dick move behind that for this to happen.

Inez27 · Answer

To be honest I feel like you shouldn’t because if they want to be kept by you then they wouldn’t cheat.

jimmy2 · Answer

There too much pedfiles, scammers, extortion, minion boy and girls getting taken by doing too much info

Apulu_Imback · Answer

Depends how their break up happened.

fonduegirl · Answer

I think exes shouldn't be in contact.

Fukaroo · Answer

I don't like any of the poll options honestly.

kitkills · Answer

Since when does it matter

IsoUser · Answer

To be perfectly honest I don't care

Anonymous · Answer

Coach, you need more options in your polls.

TX651 · Answer

Yes.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

No that’s childish

flirtatiousgirl · Answer

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Should you ask your partner to delete their ex on social media?

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