She blocked me and that bothers me. Is this creepy? Am I wrong? here's the situation:

Question

I was at this girls house for a party (we'll call her "sally" and I'll also make note that she is a "good girl" and sort of churchy)who I had sort of been talking to, (we had gone on dates, I drove, paid and gave her a kiss at the end of each night we saw each other, so yes an actual date) and she had been acting incredibly distant towards me for the past week or so, since a month or so earlier she seemed a lot more interested. I asked her friend if she knew if everything was OK between "Sally" and I, and if she knew why she was acting like she was avoiding me, etc. Last time if I asked "Sally" herself if everything was OK she said she was "out of it." which didn't help. At the end of the night I wanted to tell "Sally" goodnight and at least give her a hug before I went to bed. She didn't have any of it. The next day after I left (I didn't get to see her that morning) I sent her a text saying thanks got having me over and that I had a good time, and apologized I didn't say goodbye that morning since she wanted people out of the house before her parents got home. She texted me and said what I did that night, asking her friend those questions, looking for her to say goodnight, were "creepy" and I tried to explain that I was only concerned, and just wanted to tell her goodnight. She said I acted totally different than how she thought I was (there was alcohol involved) and proceeded to break off what we had and said there wasn't really an "us" in the first place. She said I didn't know her well enough if I thought she was being distant, but we went from talking everyday and us saying we liked each other and using pet names to no talking, one word texts, and her not wanting to hang out as much. She even blocked me on Facebook and twitter. Was she in the wrong or was there something I had done that was legitimately incorrect? And should she have based the entire 2 months we had known each other on one somewhat drunken night? My friends say that she was blowing up a small situation as an excuse to get out of it, but she still totally blocked me and that bothers me. I have never been called creepy before, and I hate having that on my conscience. Any help?  Am I really a creeper?

Phoenix52 · Accepted Answer

I'm going to detail this as best as possible:

You're being too NICE to her. You care about her emotions and want things to go well between you both. You're putting her feelings before yours.

She seemed interested in you from the start because you were probably physically attractive to her, but you respected her too much and it got boring. Driving her around, paying for the dates, and kissing her at the end of the date with no progression? You ever hear the concept that 'nice guys finish last'? I think you put her on the pedestal too much, and now you're looking for her validation from her friend. That makes you LESS VALUABLE than her.

She may be dating another guy. A guy who took the risk in seducing her into bed because he's got the confidence to do it. A jerk who goes for what he wants and doesn't care what the outcome is. Sure, he might lose the girl for pushing her buttons too much, but chances are, his dominant personality would have her cave in sooner or later.

There's only one reason a girl would call a guy a 'creep':

--> She's NOT ATTRACTED TO HIM. No attraction. No feelings. She probably had some attraction for ya at first, but your behavior had her lose interest. A creeper is a guy who lacks value compared to the girl. She doesn't want that type of guy.

Comsidering the fact that she treated you like a b*tch, I suggest you act like a jerk to her. She isn't worthwhile to you because you're better than her. Approach new girls and date around. Throw yourself a party where 'Sally' will come and she'll see you surrounded by other girls. In other words, start being a jerk without the insults. You don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, you just have to ACT like you're a prized piece and that every girl isn't good enough for you.

I know you won't want to act this way, but try it out. You'll succeed and get farther with girls than before, and you won't even care.

assembledtoy · Accepted Answer

No you're not a creeper, you just seem like a really nice guy. Which isn't a bad thing, but I just think she saw it in a different way. Maybe something happened to her at home. If she's churchy, I know that sexual abuse is sometimes affiliated with god, of course not in the name of god. (But you know the stories.)

You seem like a gentlemen and you could probably find a better girl even if you like "Sally" I'm sorry but her personality is weird. Distance is never good if you want a relationship or just a better friendship, whatever you were looking for.

You should just talk to her and hopefully you are being honest about everything you said. If nothing goes right when you talk to her, there doesn't seem like a lot of reasonable choices besides leaving her, why be friends with someone who doesn't like you?

Good luck! :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i don't think you did anything wrong I think its immature of her to end it this way may be this was an excuse for her to get out but I agree with phoenix being nice does end up as you smothering the person with a bit too much love, I'm the same way I'm the nice girl and I used to be with this guy and it was so intense and romantic but I was always super nice to him and a little too nice I let him get away with things even though he hurt me and I always made effort to contact him and such and it drove him away.

i learned the hard way to be challenging and not be so easy. people want what they can't have and so if you give it to easily just like that theyll find it meaningless and not worked hard for ya know?

ive learned to be tough and not be so available in fact with that guy I was the one to walk away from him and cut off contact and never looked back at him again because I have self respect. if he didn't like me the way I was then its all good I can move onto more mature guys. and he felt angry and pissed after too but oh well. now he can REALLY appreciate me and realize how much I loved him.

i think that's what you gotta do you have to stop being easy and just walk away and be like okay fine f*** you too bitch! and keep your chin up high and carry on. you don't need useless people in your life.

in the future though I think its best if you and I both and nice people in general kind of keep a challenge going, you always need some mystery and more excitement in a relationship, we don't have to be nice all the time.

Darkfairie17 · Accepted Answer

I think she was overreacting. I mean you didn't seem to do anything too terrible here. Just had one night of alcohol induced fun at a party. But you didn't seem to be stepping over any line. I think it was just she wasn't interested. Maybe there was something you said of did that turned her off. But I mean, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Don't dwell, if nothing sticks out like a sore thumb, you weren't doing anything wrong. She is just being over sensitive or you were just not her type. That's okay, there are plenty of other girls out there. Besides, why should you change who you are for one girl. If she can't like you for who you are, it won't work out anyway. You don't even know why she all of a sudden turned cold towards you. So if you don't know what happened, then how are you going to be able to alter your  behavior  to make her like you? You can't. Best find a girl who can love you for who you are, I was the same way. I would like a guy a lot. I would talk to him everyday and then all of a sudden, he turned cold. Stopped coming online, when he did, it was just a hi. And then nothing else. Or he would just act irritated or busy. So don't blame yourself. I think it was just her preferences coming into play here. She just doesn't like you, so just leave her be. Go find someone who likes you for you! It won't do any good to try and change yourself for her preferences.

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

She just sounds like she wasn't really interested in you, as you said she was using that night as an excuse to get out of it but she sounds like she just picks holes out of little things too, maybe it's the fact that you drink is the thing she hated but did she drink too?. She sounds like she definitely has issues as others have said below because she freaked out about you asking her friends if everything is OK and why she was acting distant because she didn't want you to know why she was acting that way or what she is feeling. It is not in any way creepy at all but maybe the fact you were already saying you and her freaked her out, maybe it was too fast for her to be saying that she likes you. Even after the date though she was acting weird so id say she just really wasn't into you at all.

DLaney · Accepted Answer

Look you may or may not be creepy, what you are right now is whiney. You got dumped and now you're looking for an excuse. The truth is she probably wasn't that into you. She wanted somethign slower or more casual and she was feeling smothered. She's young and doesn't know what she wants. You getting drunk was her perfect out. Don't show the douche bag side of yourself until you've seen her bad side and have a stable relationship, and yes it must be termed a relationship before it is one. One date and some talks does not constitute an actual relationship.

fascination_streak · Answer

First of all, you're not a creeper at all. The girl was giving you mixed messages so you didn't know what the hell to think. If I was in your position, I would have asked the person what was going on or a mutual friend. You obviously like the girl a lot and were concerned and that certainly doesn't make you a creeper. It makes you a kind, caring person with a heart.

I am not sure why she behaved like she did, only she knows the answers. Maybe she started you to like you a lot, got scared especially if she has been hurt in the past and pulled back. Maybe there was another guy in the picture and she decided to pursue him. The other possibility is that she just has issues and will find fault with small things no matter what you do or say.

Don't let this incident tarnish your image or how you view yourself. She is one girl and doesn't represent all of us. It's her loss so I'd try to move on and find someone even better.

DanielSan · Answer

You basically were a good guy and gave her what girls claim to want but girls are just f***ing bitches dude. It doesn't matter who it is they all will all screw you over and then blame you. The creeper comment is a gils last resort and an instant excuse for her to be a bitch to any guy no matter who he is or what nice things he has done for her. All girls instantly support each other when the word creeper is involved.

And for you girls who ae gonna comment. This is from 21 years of watching women. I am not bitter o angry Just saying the truth of your stupid sex.

velvetsummer · Answer

Ahh. You sound like a really sweet guy that just cares about this girl. Please don't let the creeper comment bring you down- you sound like anything but a creep, just a lovely nice guy- and ill tell you on thing there is not enough guys about you.

Im so sorry about this girl, she is acting so irrationally- from what youv'e said it sounds like youv'e done nothing wrong. I think you have to forget her.

Try acting upset about the way she's treaing you- maybe that will

"rattle her cage?!" lol.

Best of luck and so sorry, YOU do not deserve this :(

wkwan81 · Answer

Sounds a more like she has issues. Don't think it's creepy for someone to say goodnight to their host. Not like you did anything to her. Don't worry about it and don't dwell on the blocking. If she doesn't want to be friends with you, it's her loss not yours.

Thatguy20 · Answer

Hey man your not a creeper...i dated a "Churchy" girl to and I had a similar situation but don't worry about it.  The guys here have nailed it down pat she just does not know how to act to her feelings and you can do better than her...it may take a 180 or never change back but just remember that you did not do anything wrong and its her loss if she does not come back.

tex151 · Answer

Sounds like you need to drink a couple beers say f*** it, and move on you don't need her, find yourself another girl, happens to the best of us, don't beat yourself up about it.

martyfellow · Answer

Maybe she feels guilty about what SHE did that drunken night.  One way to deal with that is to block out all the memories and all contact with the people involved.   When you don't know what is motivating someone, guilt is always my first guess.

FierceMegan · Answer

I don't think you're creeper. I think she's a child who doesn't know how to say what she is feeling. This is her problem not yours, so use the magic word in the situation, "NEXT!"

SunSeeker · Answer

Well I feel like there are some details you are not disclosing, but if I am incorrect then she's definitely overreacting.

StringofFate · Answer

Ugh, please don't let this bitch bring you down! Her behavior is disgusting.

Equinoxe · Answer

Yes, you are a creep. And I'm an expert telling you this.

prettymuscle · Answer

Made she was just playing with your head, and using you for a free meal

djhohrath · Answer

ur not a creeper but you were only "talking" so no biggie f*** her lol

Anonymous · Answer

something else happened that you're either not telling or unaware of

ariamx · Answer

You're not a creeper. You're better off.

Anonymous · Answer

leave my new girl alone

She blocked me and that bothers me. Is this creepy? Am I wrong? here's the situation:

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