Girlfriend keeps pushing me to move in but does not respect my decision of not wanting to move in what should I do?

[Anonymous]

So basically my girlfriend who we have been dating for 6 months but known each other for over a year now continues to ask me to move in. This has started a while back so it’s not very recent. I’m not in the best place financially to be moving out on my own. I am a full time nursing student paying my education out of pocket due to financial aid issues. I work one job where I try to balance with school and barley make enough to pay for my bills such as school payments, school expenses (books and such) car insurance, phone bill, and of course I pay for just about all our dates (which I pretty much have no problem with). In addition I don’t want to leave my mom alone with my alcoholic family who are already a handful to deal with and my mother isn’t able to work due to a recent surgery. We’ve talked about the subject before hand and I told her that I wasn’t interested at the moment but maybe further down the line after I’m more stable with money and can help pitch in for the rent. She lives alone but is also in a bit of a financial hole herself and she also wants to go back to school. She also has a bit of a spending habit where she buys things she doesn’t need. I have told her several times that I did not want to move in with her due to my situation and that me moving in would probably make things worse for me (selfish I know). She recently brought up the idea again and kinda Gaslighted me as she mentioned that she was not going to go to school then since she won’t be able to afford it and was insinuating that the main factor of her going to school was weather I moved in or not and this made me feel terrible. I am now second guessing myself and thinking if I am an asshole for not making my situation worse and giving up a lot to make her life a little easier. I might even have to take some time from school as well. I’m sorry for how long and unorganized this is but it’s kinda just all in my mind and I needed to put it in text.

[Screenwriter]

You need to exit this relationship post haste.

You have a valid situation in taking care of your mom for the time being. She's not respecting the fact that you're doing a good thing. She's also not respecting your "No for now." She's aware of your financial and family situation and you should not be considered her ticket out of her financial straits.

You say she has a spending habit. Why would you want to be involved with someone like this if 1. you're struggling to pay for your schooling out of pocket. And why should you accept her trying to make you 2 feel guilty about taking care of your mom and yourself and 3. saying she can't go to school because you aren't helping her?

You've known this woman SIX MONTHS! Read the red flags on the wall. She expects you to rescue her. Politely bow out of the quicksand ahead. You don't have the money or the time for her demands... And they are just that DEMANDS.

Help your mom first, yourself second and finish your schooling without extraneous interference.

This woman is looking for a lifesaver to keep her afloat. Don't allow her to guilt you, use you and cause you to sink. Good luck.

[MaKa_newbie]

I don't agree that it is too early to move in together. I moved across the continent, to a new country with my boyfriend (at the time we were dating 9 months, but decided that at 6 months) and we are still here after almost 3 years. So, in my opinion, time doesn't matter.
But in my opinion, given your situations, I would say she is little manipulative. She is guily-tripping you.
Think twice is that kind of person you want to be with?

[crossdressingrihno]

Don't trust her
Trust is something you earn over a significantly longer amount of time
She's either way too trusting of you or she's trying to use you
I'd say she's using you or trying to use you
It's possible she likes you and is actually interested you as a romantic partner in the long run but she's still trying to use you financially so you should either break up with her or firmly let her know where you stand and tell her not to overstep you're bound

[Markie-mark]

Time means nothing but she seems to be giving you a little more trouble than you think and you're not made of money, if you really, absolutely think she's worth the stress, you gotta learn to cut down on some of the pleasures of life haaaaaard and that sounds already hard for you, I'd weigh the risks

[spartan55]

Dude, she is looking for a meal ticket. Six months you've been together? Way too soon to think about moving in, even you personal circumstances were more favorable. Stand your ground, and don't let her bully you into it. If she ends up leaving you because of it consider it a favor.