Is being asexual indeed a blessing at a time relationships and marriages have been ruined?

[Anonymous]

As a 25 year-old woman, I've never in my life felt any attraction towards anyone (man or woman). I'm not just asexual but aromantic too. I feel little to no romantic feelings but no sexual attraction at all.

Seeing how both relationships and marriages have been ruined, is being asexual a blessing after all? After all, I don't have to worry about falling in love with Mr Wrong nor wasting my time nor being string along, etc. Would you call that a blessing?

Yes

No

[aWes0MeNeSs]

I'm also asexual and aromantic, and I do feel as if it is a blessing. Not necessarily so much because relationships have been ruined, but because I've seen the poor decisions people make when they're blinded by love or lust, and am not envious of that at all. I also have no desire to deal with wasting years of my life on the wrong person, relationship drama, messy breakups, etc. or to put myself at risk for pregnancy, STDs, a heightened risk for cervical cancer, etc. Since sex and relationships aren't my thing, I can't really see any upside to them for me.

[humpbackjack]

Marriage and relationships aren’t something you should judge by everyone else’s it’s a personal thing my parents both had one failed marriage and then they married and were together until my father passed away and my mother passed not long after when I was young before I got married I wild and running around with a lot of girls spent majority of my youth on parole or probation up until I was almost 29 and definitely wasn’t someone I’d want one of my daughters to date let alone marry but when I met my wife I changed and we’ve been married for almost thirty years the last few or so haven’t been that great but the first twenty something were amazing so marriage is what YOU make of it and from what you’re saying it’s not for you

[OlderAndWiser]

"Seeing how both relationships and marriages have been ruined. . ." If that is what YOU believe, perhaps it is best for you that YOU are asexual. Many others don't share those beliefs, are dating, having fun, and eventually finding their partner.

[serious_miss419]

I have no sexual attraction to guys or women. I don’t crave sex or physical intimacy, I’m comfortable being alone - never do I feel lonely. I don’t label myself, I simply do not have a desire to be with anyone. Never have I had a desire to and I’ve had relationships but didn’t feel the need to remain in the relationship. Aside from that, I also just don’t see the need for being with someone on a long-term basis , marriage or as a casual thing. There’s no novelty in it. The person always likes me but I’m unable to return or reciprocate.
I’ve been called odd labels for this but whatever. I’m happy and that’s what my life is all about! Life your life girl!

[Anonymous]

yes.. it is nice not having big desires which require other people in general.
I personally don't feel a want for sex as long as there is no specific man I am into, and I only get into a man if I like him as a person and we flirt and so on. So if I don't invest in getting to know a man in such a way I am more or less free of thinking of sex. It certainly feels like a blessing to me :)

[Asker]

yes I think things happen for a reason. Maybe if I were a sexually active woman, who knows how much time I would've wasted it on. I keep hearing too many people (mainly girls) confuse sex for love.

[Vesuvius87]

I would say so. I was once normal. After all the time and years I've wasted with my ex boyfriend (all for NOTHING), I'm now suspecting I might be partially asexual. I'm making my current boyfriend wait (it's not for religious purposes.. he knows I'm an agnostic and don't care about religion) but it's also partly because my sex drive reduced so much too.

It feels the same as when an internet application gets saturated too much that it just doesn't process anymore as it used to.

[Vesuvius87]

To be honest, if my current boyfriend turned into my life companion, we had at least one child and are there for each other emotional support, we shared the bills, talked about more important things... if we do all that much more than sex then great I'll be fine with that.

[lightbulb27]

It frees up your energy and resources for other endeavors. Maybe you’ll be the next mother Teresa?


Most people I know are married and doing at least ok. Nothing is perfect including just dealing with yourself.


There’s companionship… family… community. There’s times you want and need another person there… who you gonna trust and rely on.

[Vesuvius87]

A life companion and forming a family is exactly what I seek in my current relationship. I wouldn't really care too much if we end up having little sex. My urge for it in a relationship has significantly reduced.

[lightbulb27]

@Vesuvius87 I've not seen posts from you before. have you run into @SeanshterMonster out here? some similar thoughts...

[Vesuvius87]

Nope, I don't know who he is. I've been here for several years now.

[OldWorldOrder]

Most married people I know are exhausted and miserable all the time. 🤷‍♂️

[lightbulb27]

@OldWorldOrder they take on too much. We are not, nor the people I know. But it can be especially with kids, 2 people working, church, blah blha... God said take a freakin day off you knuckleheads... you need rest. We ignored him. what ya gonna do with those pesky humans?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Mostly yes, although there's always the advantage that if you engage in relationships, you reason with your head, and not with your loin.
I'm asexual myself, and I still got married - socially, economically and politically it was a boon, and I can still dedicate my time to my pursuits.
So in my opinion it's both a blessing to focus on one's pursuits, and also in dealing with people without being conditioned by hormones or animalistic instincts.

[ohshee]

This is a very hard question for me to answer because I have never meant anyone like you before so for sure I would love to get to know you just to understand what you mean and what you feel . Because I'm not understanding your words because I feel them in your post and they are completely opposite of what your saying. And now you have me

So very curious why

[anita_lolita59]

I think it’s both because you won’t have to worry about falling in love with the wrong person, heart takes, making bad decisions due to sex, etc. But I think it also will be hard becuase people won’t want a relationship if you can’t feel romantic feelings unfortunately :( I think it could be a curse butttt there are still very good things about being asexual!!

[007kingifrit]

that's not a real thing. asexual is one of those fake orientations made up by people obsessed with categories. it's not real and is a result of trauma or low self esteem (fat girls usually say they are asexual to explain why they are single)

being alone is never a blessing, it's giving up

[Asker]

I'm not fat, I've been on several dates and even had 2 bfs but felt no attraction at all for them, NONE. No abuse in the house either and nope, I was never bullied.

[007kingifrit]

well you're not asexual, you might not not be telling me the truth about abuse or you just haven't met hte right guy

[Asker]

I dated because I was curious about what's it like going on a date or being someone's girlfriend. I was curious about and thought that maybe those feeling eventually come. They haven't and I would just see them as platonic friends, nothing else.
Oh this ''Oh you'll meet the right person'' sounds like an overused mantra. Ever thought that maybe there is no ''the right one, your soulmate'' for everyone?

[OldWorldOrder]

> it's fake

> it's the result of trauma or low self-esteem

Pick one.

Also, browse the research on population density stress and things like the Calhoun mouse & rat experiments.

[007kingifrit]

@OldWorldOrder those 2 ideas are not incompatible, it is fake, and it is a result of trauma. both of those mean "it's all in your head"

[OldWorldOrder]

What is your IQ, sir?

[Spotifyplaylist]

The stereotypical way of living is man and woman with the their children but people can be content with just themselves you don't have to always look for Mr or Mrs right you don't always have to be with a partner in life to be happy.

[MagicCarpet1]

Unfilitered water in California turned frogs gay, so it must be the water you were drinking that made you asexual. I am sorry.

[Asker]

I've always been like those since my early teen years.

[serious]

Being an Asexual myself I can say yes it is a blessing indeed. I am proud to be an Asexual.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Definitely a plus.

Honestly sometimes wish I was ace. Instead I'm disaster bi.

[Anonymous]

yes I wish I was asexual 😭 a lot of these men are horrible to women and I'm scared to have sex with them. Also unwanted pregnancies are a risk. But I crave it so much that it's frustrating

[JessicaEarl]

I wouldn’t. If relationships weren’t worth the breakup, people wouldn’t do them

[Anonymous]

I guess that depends on how cynical you want to be about relationships and sex.

[Anonymous]

Nothing wrong with being that way. Our society puts way too much pressure on people to be in relationships when they're not ready... or as a status thing.

[SnakeBoop]

neither. i wouldn't call it a blessing or a curse

[msc545]

Yes and no, as you are likely to end up alone.

[OldWorldOrder]

Only the weak are afraid of that tbh.

[msc545]

@OldWorldOrder Afraid of what - being alone?

[OldWorldOrder]

Yes.

[msc545]

@OldWorldOrder I don't think it has anything to do with strength or weakness. Some people can tolerate it, others cannot. I personally like it, but not everyone does. That does not make those who can't "weak".

[Tonyblony12]

I think it would suck no feelings

[driven159]

now adays yes