Even though I'm still a teen, my parents keep saying things about my "future husband" and "future children", but ngl, I'm disgusted by the concept of love. I don't love my family and friends. I like them and I'm just used to them. But actual love just seems so fake and gross. Like how can u live your whole life with the same person. Is It okay that I think this cuz my parents look so disappointed when I say things like this and say that someone will come that I will love one day, but I don't think so. Like I do look at some guys and think that they look good, but I don't love them. Oh and I had a boyfriend once but I didn't actually really like him, it was just sorta to see what it's like, and it was so annoying, I hated the experience. So yeah, does anyone else think this too?
Does anyone else think love is fake?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
No I believe love is real. But its not what people think it is and so the mislabeling leaves them disillusioned. Love is not an emotion. It is a choice. The wonderful emotion comes from doing love. People want to care for others and when they can they feel that wonderful fulfillment. People want to make others happy, When they can they feel that wonderful fulfillment. Possessiveness, controlling, insecurity, are all selfish and not love. But all to often this destructive trembling desire is interpreted as love. So too are the thrill of sexual desire, the need for attention. But when you realize love is a conscious choice that can be made always, you realized it is not out of control. And you gain a great deal of power to use it to conquer many negative feelings and the desire to quite in any given moment. At every given moment. You can move forward with security. I believe its becomes easier for parents recognize this with their first child. That love through thick and thin makes choices always for the best care of the child. This is rewarding regardless of how the child returns the effort spent.
It's different for wveryone. It's not like a light switch, on or off. You sound like you may be less emotional than most people. I'm the same way. Maybe you just realize that it's not magic. Maybe you will end up happily umpartnered. I know people that are. Or maybe some day you will meet someone that you would like to be with. Either way it's all ok.
My best guess is that you are just in the wrong place surrounded by people that don't understand you. Think about moving to a place where there are more of your type. I grew up in a small blue-collar town and hated it. I'm happy in the city.
I stayed in an abusive relationship for a long time because I didn't believe in love and thought I'd never find anyone better, eventually I got pushed to my breaking point and broke off the relationship, i decided that I'd just stay alone, if I found someone great but I doubted i ever would, i started to accept that love was total bs and I'd be alone forever, until one day I met someone I fell for, it started off as just a crush but after we started dating and we got to know each other better my feelings started to grow and honestly I can say, I believe this is what love feels like, I'm absolutely crazy about this guy, I want to build a future with him and I want to do whatever I can to make him as happy as he makes me.
It depends on how you define love, I think it's just cascading levels of tolerance. It also depends upon how you see other people.
But you may not be able to appreciate other people in a romantic way, thus you will not experience the bonding experience that the vast majority of humans experience.
Have you ever felt physically attracted to anyone? You may be asexual.
Your parents are right. you will find someone who you will love. And you did great self analysis saying you are still a teen. You just have some maturing to do. You haven't found your true identity yet. Focus on yourself for now. Don't be so negative. You are still so young.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
You're still young. And by the sounds of it you haven't really learned the concept of real love. As I said it's OK you're young, you got time to figure it out. Love is many things but it boils down to trust. That you care about someone because you trust them with your heart. Not because they'll never hurt you, I guarantee they will, they're human. But because it won't be intentional. Love is kind, supportive, loyal, trusting. It sees the best in you and knows you're worth the effort. Real love when given returns back to you, often 3fold. But this Love comes at a cost, a HIGH one. It requires your everything. Your full effort and devotion. Few people achieve this level because Few are willing to make this deep of a commitment.
Love is love people definetly overate it almost to point as if magic. Love is more like nice jacuzzi feels nice, good and relaxing. They dont make jacuzzi seem like this magic thing do they? I love jacuzzi, i love sauna, i love certain foods, i love very beutiful days to relax and chill its everywhere and its bit different with everyone. Find your own love what it means to you.
Love for a woman means "Give me!" That's all it is. Once the man stopped giving either because he's tired or because he gave everything he had, that's when the woman starts nagging him to an early grave "You don't do anything for me therefore you don't love me!" You think love is fake because you're female. You will never understand what love is. It's not in your DNA. Men are capable of love. Women are not.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
1 y
I agree most of the love is fake.. the bond and love between Mom and child is not though.. every other love is pretty munch just based on expectations.. so it’s more of expectations and happiness when the expectations are met that’s all it’s not love it’s all just BS.. liking is true I agree..
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Anonymous
(25-29)
1 y
i agree with your thinking. i deluded myself by thinking that love was a real thing. but that person forgot me within days of our break up. and you know what they said? they'll love me forever and ever. they'll die for me lmao. love is just bullshit. dont ever believe it and waste your time with it. it's not worth it. i don't even believe it exists.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
"True love", no it's not fake, but RARE and hard to find. A lot of people think they find it, but mistake the initial excitement of a new relationship (or person you're dating) as "love". Or fall "in love" with the idea of it, more than the actual person (women often do this).
I think now we live in a society where a lot of things are superficial, however I think there is still genuine love out there. You just need to find it I guess.
The way you described things reminds me of myself in some ways.
I find most of humanity to be incredibly boring. Most people just seem to fade off into each other and seem like one person almost like NPCs in a video game. Some people stand out but for the most part aside from visual differences they all seem pretty much the same to me.
There's a little bit of variation between all of them but not enough for me to care. I mean I'm able to care about a small group of people and that's it everyone else will be both nameless and faceless. And I do mean a small group of people probably only about 10 or 20 people at a time and that's like the maximum that's like wow I'm really putting in effort
Love is just emotion. Chemicals in your brain. Your problem seems to be expecting it to work for you. Or expecting people have the same expectations as you.
