Does Your Significant Other Console You When You Cry?

[icantpickausername]

Hello. My boyfriend struggles to show emotion toward me when I cry, and essentially acts like he doesn’t notice I’m crying. He’ll just shut his eyes and pretend he didn’t see, or goes about what he’s doing. I’ve brought it to his attention before, even telling him I just want to be hugged when I cry, and he said it feels fake if he does that, and it just seems to make him uncomfortable. I understand everyone deals with things differently, but I also think if you love someone it should be almost an automatic response to want to console them? Maybe that’s just how I’m wired. My dad died recently and sometimes I’ll get sad over it and cry a little, and he doesn’t comfort me, and that makes me feel even more alone than if he wasn’t in the room with me. Anybody else have a significant other like this? I think I’m just learning to adjust to it and cope, I just wanted to know if anyone else was in a similar relationship.

[Anonymous]

I think some people panics when they see someone else crying, they just don’t know what to do. I get how you feel tho, my grandma and dog died within a week of each other and my boyfriend at the time got irritated that I would cry randomly. After a while he finally confessed that he got frustrated whenever he sees me crying bc he hates seeing me upset but he doesn’t know what to do so he got pissed at himself and lashed out at me.

We finally had a talk and I told him that I expect him to just sit next to me and hug me without saying a word, he really understood that and he tried his best to comfort me the next time I was sad. I think you should really talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him how you expect to be comforted - some people are just less empathetic by nature so they might really just have no idea that you need emotional support.

[Guardian45]

I do, she does. I'm neurodivergent, but I have learned to show emotions. Your boyfriend maybe neurodivergent too.

[Guardian45]

Thank you for MHG!

[Mate99]

That's toxic. I'm sorry but he doesn't fully care about you if he does that