How to facilitate improvement in a relationship without hurting the partner's pwecious feewings?

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

When I'm in a relationship.. I'm always looking for ways it can improve. Inside the bedroom.. outside.. you name it.

The thing is, this perfectionism tends to scare partners away and I'm having difficulty seeing enough of a problem with what I do to change my behavior.

Because to me.. subjectively speaking.. women being chased away by it makes them look weak and like they don't care about us enough to improve.

They say I'm too "negative" or my behavior is "stressing (them) out" or that they feel like they constantly have to defend themselves from me.

Meanwhile I'm trying not to go off on them for their utter stupidity.

Should I just not try and let us remain mediocre? Is that what these fucking idiots want?

Sure.. we can do that. Then, years down the line, I come to find out that our kids aren't really mine because your dumbass wanted us to remain stagnant and here the fuck we are.

What. Am. I. Missing?

[MzAsh]

What kind of things do you try to improve and how do you approach it? And how long are these relationships?

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

Usually trying to get communication going about what exactly she needs from me. I do it by interrogating her ass.

Not as long as they should be. They tend to leave and go find some inferior male who doesn't care about them enough to grill them.

[MzAsh]

Interrogating isn’t a turn on. It’s good that you want to improve communication, but if that’s your goal then you’ll have to do your part and lead by example.

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

Sounds like an awesome way to leave your partner in the dust.

[MzAsh]

What makes you say that?

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

First off wow that AI is a fuckin dumbass.

Second, I'd end up doing all the work. I don't know what you THINK you WANT to talk about with this "lead by example" fucking nonsense and I don't care.

There's no fixing laziness.

[MzAsh]

Interesting how you think her laziness is what needs fixing.

[Anonymous]

Geez that's sounds personal what guys don't realize is that it's just as frustrating to us as it is to you guys. Yes us women are emotional but that's how were raised that's how were supposed to be. Meeting in the middle where we try to see men's logical instead of emotionally and men try to see women emotions.

[Opinion Owner]

Also I think it's great your trying to improve but don't fake it to women because that only creates a mess

[baserunner611]

To smell the 🌹 roses 🌹, to enjoy your relationship

[WriterDreams]

Self improvement isn't a bad thing even if we might get too caught up in it.
I actually see issues with women that cheat because the loyal ones of us are left holding the consequences. Not all women cheat and not all would leave a man trying to improve himself. I'm sorry that's been your experience. Good luck finding better.