Do you care if people misunderstand you?

[VIVANT]

Obviously it will matter more or less depending on which people are misunderstanding snd what the consequences may be, but still, overall would you say you are someone who is bothered by being misunderstood and if so do you resign yourself to being misunderstood, or try to make yourself heard,

or are you someone who does not care much as in you will make an effort to be clear but after that you’ve done what you can and people get you or they don’t, Cesar is vie 🤷🏻‍♀️

I hate being misunderstood it’s one of my biggest issues. I mean I think k it’s good to be clear but it bothers me to I think an unhealthy degree to have people misinterpret health esp when I think they are doing it on purpose or just being lazy as apposed to simply genuinely not getting my meaning. If it’s genuine I don’t kind at all it’s the more disingenuous stuff that gets me. I think bc I grew up in a really crazy environment where true was raise raise ass true every moment was like being on trial by people who only wanted to amuse themselves with your earnestness and see how far you’d go to prove your gawd turn just F you up for life anyhow—- no matter what I did no matter how hard I tried to be correct & precise I was gaslit and punished for stuff I didn’t do.

But I’m no longer in that situation & I don't know I think I should work in letting people do the work if they want to understand something they can ask if not that’s their problem… but basically that’s not my personality lol I’m gonna explain stuff till it sticks or someone walks away 🤷🏻‍♀️

I care a lot.

I care a moderate amount.

I care very little.

Don’t care.

Other.

[Wsx2wsx2ws]

*I care moderately because I don't want people to be deceived, jump to the wrong conclusion, or completely miss the point. I have on several occasions appreciated when some one approached me and asked why... and then I realized that they had gotten something so wrong it would have gotten worse if left alone.

*I have given instructions and when asked for them to be repeated back in their own words found that they had twisted it so completely wrong they would have destroyed things.

*And I have had people mad at me. I asked if I offended them. A hearty YES with their explanation. I apologized that they took it that way and here is what I meant. We laughed and moved on.

*THer are others who I just don't give a dam. One guy at work just has a negative attitude, at least toward me. He likes to dramatize it but I don't really care. One day someone said I should go straighten him out after he was complaining and bad mouthing me. I asked does what he say matter to you? Do you believe a word this man says?
They said no
I continued - To him I am extremely important and woven into his thoughts, or why would he put so much effort into trying to tear me down to everyone. But what word have I spoken about him? Because he is nothing to me. I don't ever think about him. I only consider positive people like you.

Now I have several people who defend me which looks better than me depending myself.

[VIVANT]

Yeah It’s amazing when people ask for clarification. I’m grateful. It’s so rare 😂

[Lliam]

I enjoy meaningful discussions. When explaining something, I try my best to be clear. If people don't understand, they should ask questions or reflect back what they think I said. I'm more than happy to clarify. And, yes, it's very important to me to be understood even if we disagree. I welcome other points of view.

Some people don't listen, though. All they do is think of what they want to say. It's not a discussion. Those people are boring.

Other people are ideologues. Instead of being curious and open minded, they react to anything they disagree with because they think they know everything. They refuse to consider any information that conflicts with their beliefs and waist my time with fallacious arguments and often insults. I don't associate with such people.

I have no problem at all with people who are uninformed about an issue. I, myself, will never be fully informed about anything. "The more one knows, the more they realize how much they don't know." But I actually dislike pompous, condescending people who are willfully ignorant.

I'm a good listener and love learning new things from people. That's called courtesy and respect.

So, while I love an intelligent exchange of ideas and do my best to make myself clear, some people aren't worth my time, attention or energy. I don't need them in my life.

[VIVANT]

Yeah ditto 👍🏼

[TrueConfection]

I'm between moderate and little. I find it irritating to have to explain myself six ways just for someone else's approval. There have been times that I consciously chose the option of being misunderstood over wasting my breath explaining myself in regards to something insignificant.

[Iwant2kno]

The only reason I would worry if I’m being misunderstood is because I care about the person and because my English is not very good looking sometimes, I can speak Spanish but English gives me anxiety sometimes because I don’t want to be misunderstood 🤷🏻‍♀️😄

[Paul_in_Indy]

Misunderstanding each other is par for the course. The trick it to listen to people, to have empathy for them, to ask them questions that help you explore their thoughts and experiences. Understanding the people around you requires patience and compassion, but it is worth the effort.

I try to understand people, but I remember that I still never really do. So, I remember to give them the benefit of the doubt.

[VIVANT]

That’s a good mind set 👍🏼

I wish I hadn’t had so many where my suspicions were confirmed. I prefer to be obvious is & give benefit of doubt but I also feel foolish doing so bc of past stuff & bc I read people fairly accurately without trying. It’s a bit of a burden. Bc often people don’t realize they are being disingenuous it’s tricky sitting out what’s intentional from just lack of self awareness or personal accountability.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I read people very well, too. But I don’t take my insight for granted, I want to be intentional abouT trying to let people tell me what they choose to communicate; not just what I think they really mean. I want people to do the same for me, so I need to put in the effort.

[ZackBan]

As a foreigner I do care because I take my language skills very seriously, if I'm being misunderstood over a choice of words I wanna know so I can work around it.
Plus the cultural barrier still appears from time to time although mostly people can't tell I'm somewhat new to the country

[VIVANT]

well judging on how perfect your English is I imagine French is similar, so you probably encounter the assumption in by listening one wouldn’t know you are not native, but there are all the cultural nuances that are different &
I imagine it can make for some interesting miscommunication lol 😊

[ZackBan]

Oh yeah. I once called someone's grandma a cunt when I was trying to say that she is very resilient. Didn't even know why he got mad 😅

[VIVANT]

😂 I hope he was mad enough to tell you so you could explain— think how horrible if he thought it was on purpose but then why would you 👀 someone would have to be real silly to not think it might be a mistake. Tho did he know you were not a native speaker?

[ZackBan]

He knows me. It took him a minute to remember that maybe it's the language

[VIVANT]

Lol cool

[NathanDavis]

I care a lot, I do not like it one bit... lol

whether is my actions or my words, and when they've seen as problematic, wrong or antagonistic when I did not meant in that way at all, then yes, it is very important to me to clear things up... especially when others are hurt or upset, offended by it and even moreso when they are people that matter to me

fortunately, the usual is for people to listen and be understanding of me, which I appreciate a whole lot, that is for sure

[VIVANT]

You are lucky 😂 I find people tend to enjoy misunderstanding as if it shows how simple and straightforward they are to lack all nuance.

[RedStealthOperative]

I used to care a lot about being understood, to the point of explaining myself too much. I've come to the realization that people often interpret things how they want to interpret them, regardless of your intentions. This is why lately I end up being too tired to even explain myself, and just let things be as they will. My actions will speak for themselves, but people can even interpret that how they want to.

The way I see it, I will attract and be understood by the right people, and even if I'm not understood right away, people who are genuinely trying to understand me, (though they might find it hard to at first), will eventually get me, because they're open to understand me without any pre-conceived notions.

[ChiTown33]

I care. But I realize in this world I live in not everyone is going to stop and take the time to listen. And I don't blame them it's a 24 hr. Hustle and bustle world. This is why I just try to smile and keep positive. Because people are bombarded daily with negative. I like to be that oasis in the sea of negative.
I keep my circle small because I consider family and friends, the lives you touch to be the ONLY thing that matters in the end. And my family and friends are my power source they encourage me to be better than I think I can be while keeping me grounded.
Sorry I'm rambling. But I guess my answer is I would like people to understand me. But it's not necessary. As long as they leave a better off in some way for having known or met me. Then that's all I can ask for. 🙂 "light up the darkness"!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/YdCKMdPSnTE

[FilmGuy93]

I care to the extent that the people who misunderstand me then also might try to obstruct me in other areas of life. So it's less about the misunderstanding and more about the ensuing dick-headdery.

[VIVANT]

Yup I feel this

[Guy13]

I ain’t seen a hen 🐓 out in the green since 8 year old gun trsingv101. 🤔 . You might be odd 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

[VIVANT]

It was Just hanging g out there on my walk. Lol

[Guy13]

🥳🥳

[RavVid]

People interpret you in their own image. A dishonest person sees dishonesty everywhere. So I see it as more revealing of them then myself.

[VIVANT]

I agree but if you are trying to explain something snd it matters if it’s misunderstood that’s challenging and I’d like to just say that’s their problem— but often times it doesn’t stop there.😐

[RavVid]

If it matters, I understand. Unfortunately a lot of people aren't willing to put the effort in. I am one of those people who like to optimize and examine all possible actions before pruning less than optimal solutions. BUT about a third of people are decisive decision makers and they want at most two options. Managers are particularly in this category.

I had a boss who was like this. I would have liked him to understand all the possibilities but in the end I ended up making the decision he should have been making and presenting that option to him plus another obviously inferior option for him to reject. He still felt he was making the decision that way even though he wasn't.

Can be the same with partners; they want to participate in decision making but are too lazy to think in much detail and a lot of people are unwilling to listen to more than two options.

I think they are a bit stupid but they would think I was indecisive. Don't know but maybe this is what you are experiencing?

[Juxtapose]

I explain myself in a pretty simple manner and if people still can't understand me then I don't really care all that much. I would rather talk to someone with two brain cells to rub together 🤷‍♂️

[VIVANT]

I can relate I wish I had your resilience there however.

[Juxtapose]

Thanks! Although it's pretty easy for me, it's not my natural impulse to overthink. It agitates me if I focus on details I consider inconsequential and I like to cut things into easy to understand pieces.

[VIVANT]

We are opposite. I go into the weeds. It has its place & uses , but it also can be an Interloper 😛

[melanieeeB]

Very little and it depends on the person, with friends and family I might make an effort to correct the misunderstanding but with strangers and work colleagues nope, they can go and think whatever they want

[serious]

I try to correct their misunderstanding but no I don't care about it either.

[VIVANT]

Well by care I mean do you care to correct it. I don’t think caring or not caring means much behind what a person is willing to do about it. But I didn’t make that clear in my outs so that’s on me lol

[serious]

@VIVANT

I think you are totally wrong here. Yes a person's willingness is important whether they want to clear the other person's misunderstanding or not.

It is possible that a person says something and then does not bother about the fact if someone misunderstands them or not. They won't clarify anything, they won't explain or clear things. Hence yes a person has everything to do with this.

[serious]

@VIVANT

In my view, yes I do try to correct their misunderstanding but that will be only once or at the most twice but that's it.

After that I won't care.

[Blueeyes81]

I only care if its people I care about. With anyone else it makes no difference. I've spent most of my life feeling misunderstood so by and large I'm use to it.

[VIVANT]

I hear you.

[CallmeTheKnight]

People who want validation and attention care about what others want and being understood

What the heck does someone's opinion about me gonna do for me? I sleep good at night and eat good during the day, so why care about what someone understands and misunderstood about me?

[VIVANT]

You’re lucky if you’ve never been in situations where being made out to be something you’re not caused great trouble. It’s extremely annoying at the very least and can be ouch worse. It also calls unwanted attention so I do not think not wanting to get misunderstood has a direct connection to wanting attention.

[Jamie05rhs]

Somewhat. Much less than when I was younger. And especially if I don't hear about it; because then it's like, "If a tree falls in the woods, but it doesn't make a sound..."

Then again, if it's a chick that misunderstands me, then I guess that would be quite unfortunate. ... Though how would I even know? Women don't talk. 🤷

[Jamie05rhs]

I apologize if my answer sounded too self-centered. I am really sorry for what you went through.

[VIVANT]

I didn’t see your answer yet 😂 my connection sucks! Don’t worry it’s fine tho 😊

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Cool.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I care a little but I just like to work things out with people so we understand each other.

[VIVANT]

Yeah this is the part that is healthy and it matters a lot to me.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@VIVANT Same here with me and thank you :)

[peedy]

Yes if I am explaining something or trying to make a point
No if they miss understand me as a person

[VIVANT]

Oh I only meant in explaining or making a point I don’t think I even considered the other thing lol I don’t expect that anyhow

[peedy]

And all I did was respond to the question I didn't read the explanation / story behind the question

[Jamesshinobi]

what others eat, does not make me shit. couldnt care if i tried.

[VIVANT]

Lol well put

[sp33d]

If it is important that they understand, then yes. Otherwise, no.

[VIVANT]

Very reasonable.

[Jltakk]

Thats a pet peeve of mine. I hate being misunderstood. It doesn't help with my ASD and odd social cues. I then just blame myself.

[VIVANT]

I get this. I’m really bad with ambiguity and I pick up on way too much stuff that I can’t pin point without info it’s a terrible limbo being caught in.

[Blackcosmo]

My self esteem is at 0% so what other people think of me is all that matters.