I am jealous to my best friend and my girlfriend. What to do with my jealousy?

[Anonymous]

The thing is that I am in one of the best relationship ever. This is my first really long term relationship, but I am jealous to my best friend and I am afraid that I will lose my girlfriend because of him.

I think I kinda know my personality, I have some inferiority complex from childhood because of my brother, I always put other persons over myself. My best friend is a super cute, innocent, funny, lovely guy, I really like him. My girlfriend is the same, they are both great persons. Every time when we are together somewhere, I feel they have a good vibe, almost like romantic vibe and I start to feel jealous and imagining, fantasizing, overthinking that they will get together. One mistake for me and it is over, because they will be together.

My girlfriend is very supportive, I was able to tell her even if I ashamed of this feeling. She is denying this, finding reasons why it won't never happen. But every time we spend time together (me, my girlfriend, my best friend) she only can talk about him for like hours and asking ton of questions about my friend. For example last time that "Do he likes me?" It is like pressing my red button, I don't know what to do. But if I think about it realistic, she can ask whether my best friend likes her or not.

I went to therapist but I couldn't solve this unrealistic fear yet. I know I can trust my girlfriend and I can trust my friend, they are good and great persons, they both love me. It's just I can not overcome my own personality and jealousy, and can't deny the fact (is it a fact?) that they would be a great couple.

It is super frustrating, because they are kind of the closest 2 persons for me besides my family. Still I feel sometimes that my best friend is "my enemy or rival" and my girlfriend can cheat me. Or just have a "better" choice and not me. It is so hard to trust at this point in them or most importantly.. myself.

What to do with this feeling?

- just a happy but truly sad 30 yr old guy

[Anonymous]

Dude--this isn't an unrealistic fear--it's a tale as old as time. Does your friend have a girlfriend? Why not?

Let's break this down: what are THE most important things in the WORLD for individual humans? Adequate food, clean water, shelter, safety from the elements, nature and other humans--you get the idea. So I'm guessing you all have PLENTY of all of those things. After that, THEN what's the NEXT most important thing? SEX!!! A long-term sexual relationship. SO--if you want to increase your chances of making things work with both your girlfriend AND your good friend, AND if you want to minimize the chance that they run off together, you should think of what you can DO about it in a CONSTRUCTIVE way.

My suggestion is that you make sure that everyone in this story is being VERY well served sexually. If your buddy isn't with a girl who's regularly emptying his balls, he's going to be looking for someone to help him out. And maybe your girlfriend is an attractive playmate for him. So make sure you hook him up with a hot girl to keep him fully occupied.

Also, what's the deal with you and your girlfriend? How often are you fucking? How much is she dying to get it from you? If the answers are "not often" and "not much" you need to WORK to make sure her pussy is well fed and gushing for you. And that's not JUST about pounding away at her. You need to engage her body, her mind and her soul. Keep her on her toes! Tease her, surprise her, stimulate her in ALL ways and do it OFTEN!

Lastly, how are you doing in the world OUTSIDE your family, your girlfriend and your friend? It sounds like you're not doing much and THAT is a recipe for DISASTER! You need to have other things going on in your life. DIVERSIFY! It'll make you MORE interesting to everyone, it'll reduce any loss you may feel if any single relationship breaks down AND it'll make it FAR less likely for any of that to happen.

So one thing you could do is the next time you're out with your buddy--with OR without your gf--be a great wingman for him. Interact with ATTRACTIVE girls. Flirt with them with the goal of getting your boy laid. This will not only solve the first problem above, but when your girlfriend sees you interacting and attracting other girls, it'll increase her attraction to you. Let her know you're just winging your buddy and then when you go home, fuck her like she's your world.

Long story short--you need to be a better man. Not JUST for you, but also for your girlfriend and for your buddy.

[Guy13]

Hang in there. Good news about the relationship. Between God and the therapist. hopefully it will work out well for you.

[SueShe]

The problem is that the more you think about it and the more you fall into a depression like state because you imagine things that do not (yet) exist.

But you have to get a grip of yourself because if you persist on seeing things where there are none, you will progressively act in such a way that your girlfriend will definitely move away from you because YOU are pushing her away with your assumptions.

That is the reason I put the word "yet" in the first paragraph in brackets.

If you let this situation work on you, you will achieve that your girlfriend will actually look for a substitute because you are pushing her away from you into the arms of your best friend.

The result will be catastrophic for you but mostly for your friendship with your best friend. Not only will you have lost your girlfriend but also your friendship. It is still not too late to react and wake up.

[IJhonnyI]

Trust both for now, now if you find evidence that you feel is too far leave your girl and dis own that "friend"

[boggboss]

If u claim to trust them actually trust them then nothing can happen and use that knowledge to stop your wondering mind

[Iron_Man]

Learn to trust if somethings up then find out