My girlfriend is best friends with her EX

[Anonymous]

Well I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 5 months now and everything is going great, until something comes up about her "best friend". So here is the sum of their relationship. They have know each other for their whole life's, but really became friends in the past three years. They have dated twice and both times my girlfriend has ended their relationship, but their still best friends. And their last relationship ended about a year ago. So now I'm in the picture, and I'm trying to deal with their friendship. We have had talks about her EX and how I don't feel that comfortable with it. So she agreed to distance herself from him a little and I appreciated her decision. Then when we started school again and it seems the problem came back. And mind you I have never met him and wouldn't really mind to meet him, because you know it's my girlfriend best friend . So when I saw him at school (I guess) he acted all weird and didn't really talk to my girlfriend. So I kind of felt weird too, then I ask my Girlfriend what was that all about and then she tells me that he acts that way whenever she brings me up in conversation and such. And yeah then I start to think that he has feelings for her still and he can't see me with her. So recently we had a talk about it again. This time it was because she was hanging out with him a lot recently and I can't really help not to feel jealous because all I hear about is how much fun they had and all that stuff. So I feel insecure about it because I think that she doesn't have that much fun with me as she does with her ex. So then we start to talk about it. So she tells me about this concert that me and my Girlfriend are going to (he's going too with his friends) and all he's going to do is say hi and then leave because I'm going to be there. Then he tells her that he still cares for her. And my Girlfriend told me that she doesn't know to react to that, but was going to still hang with him. So then she tell me that she cannot shut him out of her life because he's that kind of friend that will always be there and I respect that, but that fact is that he still feels the way he did when the two of them were together. So my Girlfriend assures me that she doesn't feel the same way he does and I believe her. I'm not worried about her cheating on me because I know she's not that type of person, but I cannot help but feel awkward about the whole situation. So I told her that I will try to push those feeling away and try not to worry about it and only think about her.

so any opinion on my situation would help. I would just like to see what others think about it.. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

i can see why your upset by this situation this ex is putting your girlfriend in a very awkard position by telling her he still has these feelings it's not fair on you or her and he's not acting like a best friend by doing this. your girlfriend really should try to keep a bit of distance from him even for a little while since he has said this to her but don't give her a ultimatium the person who gives an ultimutium is rarely the one ever chosen. the only positive thing about it really is that you do trust her enough not to cheat on you which is really good. if it's getting to her to maybe you should ask if she wants you to tell him not to tell her his feelings anymore after all your her boyfriend. but make sure you ask her first. or maybe he's confused by the situation aswell since she's not really putting any distance between her and her ex even after he's said how he feels? did he say it in the way a real best friend would say they cared or in the way an ex would say it to re-start the relationship? don't worry she's obviously having more fun with you she's still with you not him so I really wouldn't be insecure about that! like it hasn't worked out twice for them so the likly hood of it ever working out? hope everything goes well for u!

[Asker]

Well I don't think he wants to start a relationship again with her, but I don't know because she tells me he's like that and doesn't really talk about that stuff. and I'm getting it from her and it's pretty much her interpretation and not really him, I guess. and I feel bad for my Girlfriend because she's in the middle of this whole thing, so yeah but thank you.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya but even if he dosne't want a relationship its an unfair thing to say to her especially since there best friends you and your girlfriend just need to continue with your relationship and don't let him get in the way! have fun and enjoy it!

[Kelly6]

Nothing wrong here.

it’s good to breakup as friends

[Kelly6]

Thanks for Mho

[GTI_37]

This exact same thing is going on with me and my girlfriend right now. The only difference is that she hasn't known this guy forever or anything. But yea she dated him before and then never spoke to him after and then this past semester started and she had a class together with him. I guess they worked on a project together or something and then started hanging out not alone but with groups of friends and stuff (mind you I live over 2 hours away going to college so I only see her every other weekend). So they start to hang out more and more until finally about 2 weeks ago she started hanging out with him alone at his house. She swears to me they are just friends and that I have nothing to worry about, but she told me that he is one of her BEST friends. After about a month that's a really strong thing to say especially after she hasn't spoken to this ex AT ALL since they dated. I love her and trust her so I try to make everything seem like I don't mind but really I'm very uncomfortable with it. I plan on spending the rest of my life with this girl but I don't know how I can go on with these feelings running through my mind. Anyones advice would be highly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I'm in this situation. Sort of. But she doesn't want to stay away from for a bit and she even said that I am not allowed to hate him. Also we started having problems with her best friend because a few days ago her best friend admitted that he still liked her then just the other day he kissed her. He was comforting her cause she was crying because she was being bullied by the other girls. And I don't know what to do. We're in and ldr btw. And I just don't know what to do. If you could help that would be really great.

[makoscrazy]

I'm not saying this to be weird, but he just passed the boundaries of the relationship. He has disrespected your relationship multiple times, if she doesn't respect your opinion and consider your feelings about it. I would just call it quits; she clearly knows he has feelings for her. And yet, she is still going about her day spending majority of her time with him instead of you. he is taking your place in certain aspects, and i just want the best for you. if it is dwelling on you and making you emotionally demotivated and affecting your day. I would just consider it unhealthy. but then again. I do not see what is behind the doors so go about it cautiously, but I am speaking from experience.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are 16 or 17 years old and still in high school, right?

[Angelo75]

Well first thing, I find it quite nice that you trust her and thats how relationships should work.

The problem/complications with emotions is that even though your trust a rational part of a person, it is hard to trust the emotional part.
I'm not saying things "will" go wrong. I'm just saying that if you play with fire long enough, sooner or later you're gonna get burned.

In my case I've set certain agreements/rules with my wife and one of them simply being "no friendships with opposite sex". So I have many male friends and she has many female friends. But we stay away from friendships of opposite sex because after a long couple of years of marriage, we got a couple of "burns" because of past mistakes.

Don't get carried away by the definition that you are "insecure" but think more of u being "cautious".

To be realistic, if a guy says he has feelings for a girl and stays orbiting that girl... sooner or later (maybe when you 2 have a fight)... he's gonna try to make a move. And trust me, all relationships have fights.
Besides YOU TWO should be each others best friends. That trust should be directed to each other.
If the ex is truly honest and is truly a "good friend" like he says, he's gonna understand this and respect that she is building trust with another guy and back away, instead of orbiting her and spending time with her.

I'm sorry to be blunt like this about this point. It's just painful to get hurt while you saw a dangerous situation from miles away and thought that you were the one being overly jealous. :-(

[Alli39]

It really sucks to be in that situation, but at the end of the day it's her decision what relationships she maintains, as long as she's being loyal to you. Focus on building up your relationship with your girlfriend and just try not to let it bug you (easier said than done, I know). Always keep in mind that if she wanted him more than you, she'd be with him. But she's not, she's with you. That's what counts.

And if anything, I suspect you can probably relate to the guy. I mean, you like your girlfriend enough to date her right? On some level, can you really blame the guy for being able to see all the incredible things about her that you can? Rather than trying to understand her, maybe put some thought into trying to understand him. How would you want him to react if your positions were swapped and you were trying to maintain a friendship with a girl you still had feelings for?

[madhatters4]

if you aren't worried about her cheating then you should be cool with her relationship

they've been friends all their life. i think it is unfair to think she is going to ditch a life long friendship for a person she has been with for 5-months. would you be willing to cast off life long relationships for a girl you've been with a short time (relatively)

the onus is on her to not betray your trust. let that be the beginning and end of it. if she effs up that's on her. but if you force her away from her friends then the onus is on you not to eff it up

[hahahmm]

She hasn't made up her mind whether you are worth taking seriously or not so in the meantime she is keeping her options open and is 'on the market', not just open to her ex but other guys too. Don't get drunk with love or thinking you have earned her being with you long term/forever. But the good news is, if you bother to listen to me, you will understand what a lot of guys don't. Go read my mytake on leadership and some others if you're interested in traditional relationships. Good kuck.

[exitseven]

You need to mark your territory with this guy. The next time he is around you need to do something somewhat extreme so that he sees you as a real threat. Maybe something like breaking a two by four over your head

[WhitneySnow]

That’s really awkward. She needs to end the friendship if he hits on her.

[SolitarySolace]

Red Flag. They still love each other. Or at least one of them does and is just waiting for the other to fall into their arms again

[monghjay2]

hahaha relationships are fake

when are you idiots gonna figure that out

its all over the internet

https://www.youtube.com/embed/0EnRK5YvBwU

[Kiran_Yagami]

If you aren't her #1 priority then you ain't her only mans. Pretty simple. There is only one possible solution.

[ButthurtGAGpeople1]

Yikes

[Anonymous]

Did u find outqq