Boyfriend had explicit photos and a video of a girl in his phone?

[Arosestep88]

This is my first time posting and I really need someone to talk to.. opinions.. someone who’s been in this situation.. anything. My self esteem is at an all time low right now. My significant other and I have been together 4 years.. I grabbed his phone to look for a pic of us that he didn’t send to me and I was going to go ahead and do it. Yea I probably shouldn’t have but he grabs my phone whenever and I really didn’t think anything of it at the time. So.. yea there’s tons of pics of me he’s saved blah blah.. well there’s 2 pics of another woman’s breast and a video of the same one but she’s.. touching herself. He screenshot the boobs and saved her video. On the info from the pics and video it said he’d saved them from Snapchat. I want to know who the woman is.. and like, does he not find me attractive anymore or.. I mean why not say to me you want these type of videos and pics. I don't know what to do.. I’d like to add that I kept his tab of that video up so he will see that video.. 🙄 I’m mad.. hurt.. all of the above.

[dynamicyandere]

First off, that really sucks. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Checking out other people isn’t something significant others should do. It’s disrespectful, it hurts trust, and it demonstrates a lack of loyalty.

He’s checking out other girls for whatever reason.


This doesn’t necessarily mean you’re unattractive. It could mean a lot of different things, depending on the guy.


Maybe he’s just bored and horny. Maybe he’s always checked out girls and has just kept it to himself. Maybe he doesn’t like monogamy. Maybe he’s feeling unfulfilled in the relationship. Maybe he’s falling out of love. Maybe he has caught feelings for someone else. Maybe he has a porn addiction. There are just so many different things that this could mean.


But, whatever the case may be. It looks like he hasn’t been completely honest with you. He’s been hiding things from you. As to why, again, it depends on the guy.


If you want this relationship to work, he’ll need to be open to talking and telling you what actually is going on. If you want this relationship to work, you’ll need to have a heart-to-heart talk so that he can come clean about everything he hasn’t been communicating you.

[dynamicyandere]

communicating with you*

Also, I don’t know how much this guy means to you and what your bond is like. But, I think this still can be saved if he’s willing to cooperate and communicate with you and prove to you that the relationship is important to him.

We don’t know what the real reason is behind him doing this though, so depending on what that reason is, it may or may not be grounds for breaking up.

Just, have a clear idea of what your boundaries are and your values are—what you will and will not tolerate, and be ready to leave if the reason for his behavior is a true dealbreaker for you.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time, when we say 'I don't know what to do' what this really means is we know exactly what to do but it's painful, uncomfortable and distressing to take the necessary action. You've been given a chance to escape from disloyalty and degenerative behavior. Snapchat suggests it's a little more intimate than just a random xx video online. But all of that is trash and a waste of energy anyway.

[LilyoftheLake]

It definitely borders on (if not outright crosses the boundary of) cheating. It is wrong, and he is being unkind and, more importantly, dishonest with you.

Note that men aren't quite like us - it took me a while to figure that out. They don't naturally compare or distinguish between. Essentially, he found her attractive, but that does not in any way mean that he DIDN'T find YOU attractive.

Just because he eats an offered burger while he's out with friends DOES NOT mean that he doesn't like (or even prefer) prime steak at home.

[Sarahplus2]

I think it is fishy being from Snapchat. He could be sending out naked pics of himself or like most guys his cock.

[Anonymous]

If those pictures were sent to him... does it even matter who the woman is? It's clear this dude is into her. If he saved it from a public profile etc. Then take it for what it is... porn. If they were sent to him, I suggest you walk away and respect yourself.

[Anonymous]

i have no idea why he saved that video , it does sound like he viewed it on snapchat at some point as you suggested. maybe it was a boredom thing , guys look at stuff like that for something to do. doesn't necessary mean he's unhappy with the relationship or doesn't find you attractive.

[Anonymous]

I think you should talk to him about it, but also I just want to remind you to not compare your body or anything to hers. Also, don't come off as pissed or scream at him first just calmly ask him about it. You don't have to use my suggestion.

[Imsmurter1]

I mean on the list of bad things a boyfriend can do I feel like this is pretty tame to be honest. It's just some sexy pics on his phone.

[Anonymous]

That's potential dump territory.

[In_Trance]

So dump him